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Kissing on the first date - a No-No but...
Location: BlogsDr. John's Personal Blog    
Posted by: host 1/31/2006
At first, I thought what I was hearing was a trend to a more Victorian time. More young females in both high school and college have been telling me they don't kiss on the first date - but will do fellatio on the second date (if they want or not). To many youth, oral sex is not really considered "sex" like vaginal or anal intercourse. That's the dichotomy.

Deep kissing, we called it French kissing in the '60s, is safe sex, in most cases. For teens in love or lust, tongue swapping is as natural as Mom's apple pie. It always has been. Today, however, oral sex makes it pie a al mode. Perhaps because of the media's explicit portrayal of sex (or Monica Lewinsky), oral sex is out of the closet. Young people the world over find it less troublesome than what they call "real sex." Most adults are shocked by the nonchalant attitudes of the younger generation towards oral sex. On three visits to American schools last year, I was taken aside by the administrator or teacher who confided in hushed tones that their schools had organized BJ clubs, younger girls doing older boys. No exaggeration, that is what they said. I am no longer shocked by what teens say but am baffled by some adults' shock at teens' attitudes. Don't they read newspapers or watch Oprah or the news?

It is up to parents to teach morality in the home and spiritual advisors to preach it in houses of worship. Yet many won't touch the subject of oral sex. Once outside the family environs, youth come in contact with many other influences. Watching TV, listening to rock and rap, going to the movies, surfing the net and talking to friends -- these all turn adolescents on to new and exciting avenues of pleasure that they don't hear about from parents or religious leaders.

As a result, many youth report that they consider oral sex to be casual sex because it's quick, easy and uncomplicated -- and you can't get a girl pregnant. They're correct about pregnancy of course, but I remind them that STDs (like herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, etc.) can be transmitted by oral sex. Yet they think there are medicines at the pharmacy for anything although I point out that not everything can be cured with a drug. I am very clear that there is no medical cure for AIDS and no vaccine to stop HIV although some drug therapies exist to prolong the onslaught of AIDS diseases.

(One note: oral sex is not a good transmitter of HIV because of saliva.)
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