Ask Dr. John

Do you have questions about HIV/AIDS? Do you need answers from Dr. John, a Harvard University educator who has been a volunteer helping youths? If you are a teen or under age 22, we welcome your questions about HIV/AIDS. Submit your question to Dr. John via the form below.

If you are older than 22, please consult more age-appropriate websites as Dr. John has only time to discuss youth-related issues. Thank you.

P.S. Teen Advice Column If you are a teen and have questions about first love, boyfriends/girlfriends and parental control, etc., the teens’ at the Teen Advice Column want to help. 

General Questions (From Youth)

Dina, 18 hi.. i am 18 years old i done fingering not in viniga but most upper part of viniga from irregularly  6 months can i get hiv aids????

Dina, thank you for sending me your question. No, you cannot get HIV from fingering yourself. Masturbation is practiced by many females as a natural form of sexual release. You cannot give yourself the virus. However, if and when you have sexual intercourse, always insist your partner wears a condom. If he fingers you, it should be safe too unless a cut on his finger introduces his HIV blood into you. Dr. John

Freddy, 17
 Can she b pregnent by just kissing on penis ,but not having sex

Freddy, the simple answer is no. A female cannot get pregnant from kissing the penis because the sperm cannot fertilize her eggs inside the vagina. Even if she swallowed some pre cum or semen, it would not lead to pregnancy. That’s how the human reproductive system works. Thank you for writing, Dr. John

Koketso, 18 I slept with a girl without protection so then after i saw blood on my penis and she says she wasnt done perfectely her period pain so what can happne???

Dear Koketso, a lot of guys ask this question because it is as old as sex itself. Usually there is not much to worry about — but if she had HIV, there’s a possibility of transmission if you had a open cut or sore on your penis. That’s why, even in low risk situations, it’s better not to take a chance! Wrap it up. Dr. John

Anthony, 16 Hey doc, so Ive received Oral sex from this girl I don’t really know, and again 2 days after the first time. Should I get checked out to see if she may have something that was passed to me when she was blowing me?

Anthony, it is your call. Oral sex is usually not very high risk for HIV or STIs but nothing is 100% safe. If any blood is exchanged between partners because of a cut or an open sore, STDs can be transmitted. Why not get checked out — and maybe wait before going back to her again. Transmission goes both ways. I don’t know if you are a virgin or not, but if you aren’t, you could pass something onto your partners. Whenever having sexual intercourse, always use condoms for protection. Thanks for writing, Dr. John


From Cynthia, 18 Dr just recently found out that my new bf is hiv +..we’ve been together for about 6 months, I’m wondering why ne never told me about.once asked him to go test with me but he wasn’t interested. should i confront him about it or what ??

Cynthia, this is tragic. Yes, you need to talk with him and find out why he didn’t tell you before now. While many HIV-positive youths are sad, depressed, even scared, most whom I know have been upfront with their partners. Was it easy for them? No, but it’s the morally correct thing to do. Now you didn’t say if you were sexually active, and if so with condoms or not. But if you two have been intimate, I urge you to get tested immediately. You don’t have to drag him to a clinic. You can buy home test kits at your local pharmacy. Then both of you can do the oral swab, 20 minute test in front of each other. If he says, “no,” then hug him, wish him luck, and walk away. If he truly loves you, he needs to be honest. I have known over 150 teens that have AIDS and while 40 died (mostly in the 1990s), the rest are living productive lives on medicines. It is alright to love someone with AIDS but you need to protect yourself from HIV. Please keep me informed. Dr. John

From Laura, 14 I havent had sex with anyone but i was hanging out with my bestfriend and he started kissing me and he was so turned on that he pulled me on top of him. I was sitting on top of him and i think he ejaculated. I was wearing jeans and he was wearing shorts but is it possible that it could leak through? Im so scared..

No, Laura, I do not think you could become pregnant because you said you had your clothes on. If you had your clothes off, or just underwear, with a naked boy or in his underwear, then it is possible pregnancy could happen. You don’t need to worry this time — but if your friend gets so excited next time that he gets out of control and grabs you, without your okay, then you are putting yourself in a risky situation. Thank you for writing. Dr. John

From Chooda, 18 If a girl had unprotected sex with 3 guys, if I fuck tat gal unprotectedly will I get aids or hiv plz rply me em worried

Dear Chooda, thank you for writing. Yes, there is a chance that you can get HIV/AIDS from a partner that has had numerous acts of unprotected sexual intercourse. The risk could be very high because this person does not value her health. You should go and get tested as soon as possible but you will need to wait a month after the possible exposure. You know about the necessity of condoms so why don’t you use them in these situations? I’m not overly impressed with your judgment. Dr. John

From Anthony, 17 2 mouths ago i gave a blowjob to a guy that i dident know and i want to know if im ok from geting an std.because its been long and i havent gotten a symptom of haveing an std. Help me please

No, I don’t think you are at any great risk from this one-time act. You would know by now. You can always get tested. However, if others are promiscuous and choose to have frequent sex with unknown partners, my answer could be different. Thank you for writing Anthony. Dr. John

From David, 27 Hello doc if someone cum in my gf jeans or short by mistake and she wear it after 1 min only is it possible she had hiv from that

I get a lot of questions of all sorts but I think this is a first (I’ll double-check). Are you describing your own situation – or that caused by another guy entirely? My question is how does this happen? You said, “by mistake.” Hmm… My answer is I don’t think so but HIV can live in hot semen for a minute or two… if it could find it’s way inside her vagina. Thanks, David. Dr. John

From Keke, 17 I’ve been looking up hiv symptom online for a couple of weeks and I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not. And looking up symptoms online is the best thing to do.. but I’ve had some of the symptoms (flu like) but I’m not sure If it was because of winter and o was just genuinely sick.. I’ve only had sex with my girl friend and another girl before that(used a condom )and she’s (gf) has only done it one other time with a different guy and she says she used a condom when she broke her virginity and this was last year September.. so I don’t know if I should be worried or am just being paranoid because ive had sex with her without using a condom .. my girl friend told me i was being paranoid.

Keke, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You’ve taken the necessary precautions and you’ve had only two female partners. If you don’t want any worries, you could abstain from sex but that might not be a practical alternative. I think it’s excellent that you have done the research too because now you can tell your friends that as long as they use condoms, the best medical barrier against HIV and STIs, any “symptoms” are probably the winter flu. Of course, mononucleosis and hepatitis are another question. Being inquisitive is a virtue; being ignorant can lead to irreversible mistakes. Thanks for writing, Dr. John

From Koketso, 18 I slept with a girl without protection so then after i saw blood on my penis and she says she wasnt done perfectely her period pain so what can happne???

Dear Koketso, a lot of guys ask this question because it is as old as sex itself. Usually there is not much to worry about — but if she had HIV, there’s a possibility of transmission if you had a open cut or sore on your penis. That’s why, even in low risk situations, it’s better not to take a chance! Wrap it up. Dr. John

From Jayme, 32 A man I never had sex with is saying that he has hiv and that I gave it to him. I’m an exotic dancer I’ve only given this man a lap dance. The man sends me a text saying that he has hiv and that I gave it to him. I’ve never had sex with this man, I do not have hiv. What can I do to prove that I am innocent?

Jayme, I usually don’t answer any emails from people over 22 or so. My interest is educating teens about sex and HIV/AIDS. You can get a home test kit from a drugstore and test yourself in front of witnesses that could vouch for a negative result. Dr. John

From Ednah, 19 Hi doc my mum brushed her teeth un the morning and she is HIV positive I accendentally used the same teeth brush in the afternoon does that mean am postive now

Ednah, I am sorry to hear that your mother is living with HIV. It must be very hard on her and you too. I don’t think you have much to worry about if there was a six-hour time span before accidentally brushing your teeth with her tooth brush because any HIV in her saliva is very small and already dead. However, the bristles can cause the gums to bleed so be cautious in the future. You know that sharing a drink out of a glass or a bottle is safe. Give your mum lots of hugs and tell her how special she is. Dr. John

From David, 12 I had for 5 moths moving my penis up and down until a wait thing go out and now I feel a litttle pain in my kidnys or some thing their can this white thing stop going up or what sho6ld I do and every time I do I feel a horibel pain that I want to pou Plz doc help

David, thank you for writing. I believe you are describing masturbation when you rub your penis up and down quickly, and often hard before your semen comes out. If you rub too hard, it can cause pains in your lower abdomen. Do you have an older brother or cousin you can talk to? They might have advice. Take care. Dr. John

From David, 14 I Am 14 and I am male and I had unprotected sex with another male what do I do

David, I am not exactly sure what you want me to answer. You are very young to be starting sex without knowing what you are doing. Are you upset that you had unprotected sex — or that it was with another boy? Are you worried about the gay issue? Or did something happen that concerns you? From your email, I don’t know if it was a one-time act of experimentation that some young teens engage in or if the sex involved full penetration and ejaculation. Unprotected anal sex between two male partners is considered very risky. HIV can be transmitted. And when you are young, the anal cavity is virgin and can be torn easily causing bleeding. Is this what happened? When you ask, “what do I do,” my advice is to stop and re-think having sex. You don’t have to rush into it. Masturbation is a much, much safer form of sexual release and is pretty much worry-free. My advice for the future when you are older is always use a condom for any kind of intercourse, anal or vaginal. I hope you enjoy a safe summer before school starts, Dr. John

From Prudence, 16 my partner we use condom when we were busy having sex he told me that condom is boring then he put his panies to me I push him so can I get hiv

Thank you Prudence for writing. I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend thinks condoms are boring because they are designed to prevent HIV and STIs (and for birth control). If he loves you, he should not have tried having sex by forcing it in without a condom. You could be at risk whenever the penis enters the vagina but you stopped it at the beginning. Good on pushing back because you most likely avoided any problem. Too many selfish boys think condoms are not worthwhile. They often live to regret their decision. Dr. John

From Suraj, 19 I was playing cricket in the ground ..accidentally i was injured with dry needle( it contains no fluid) …next day my blood pressure gone down and i start feeling weak but by taking medicine i start felling heathy… This happen 3 month ago

Dear Suraj, I am not sure what your question is but thank you for writing because many young people do not know that getting stuck by a needle can cause illness. In the worst case scenario, even transmitting HIV and hepatitis. In the future, bring the needle immediately to a clinic and have the puncture and needle-syringe examined. It sounds like you did have an immediate reaction but it’s good the medicines worked. Take care on the playing fields and beaches although it burns me that some people are so stupid and lazy to discard needles where youths play. This is where karma plays a role. Dr. John

From Anthony, 16 Hey doc, so Ive received Oral sex from this girl I don’t really know, and again 2 days after the first time. Should I get checked out to see if she may have something that was passed to me when she was blowing me?

Anthony, it is your call. Oral sex is usually not very high risk for HIV or STIs but nothing is 100% safe. If any blood is exchanged between partners because of a cut or an open sore, STDs can be transmitted. Why not get checked out — and maybe wait before going back to her again. Transmission goes both ways. I don’t know if you are a virgin or not, but if you aren’t, you could pass something onto your partners. Whenever having sexual intercourse, always use condoms for protection. Thanks for writing, Dr. John

From Lila, 17 So I gave my bf of 10 months a hand job and a blow job without condoms? But he said that we can’t get stds because we are both virgins is this true? And should we use condoms next time? And why is giving a blow job oral sex? There is no sex involved no penis or vagina touching so why is it considered sex?

Thank you for writing in Lila. You ask a question that many young people wonder about, “Why is a blow job {considered} oral sex” when the penis is not touching the vagina? A lot of your age group don’t think it is really sex but as you say, just a blow job. Adults have always considered it to be “sex” because it involves sexual gratification and a climax. Many are surprised that teens have the misconception it is not. It is a generational difference. I consider it sex. I notice among youths today that oral sex is no big deal. After all, they say you can’t get pregnant and isn’t that what sex is supposed to be about? Very few people use condoms to masturbate a partner. Some use condoms for oral sex but the vast majority do not according to studies. Yet you can get STIs (STDs) from oral sex even if you are virgins although they might never occur. I am most concerned about the spreading HIV/AIDS epidemic among your generation and that is why I urge all of you to always use condoms when deciding to begin sexual intercourse. Heck, better safe than sorry. Dr. John

From Matilda, 17 I am a virgin and my bf is a virgin as well. And we have talked and fantasized about having sex with each other. The thing is that I think I am ready because I really do care for him and I get wet thinking about it. But I don’t want to get pregnant ? What are your suggestions so I have a less percentage of getting pregnant should I take the pill( which one is the best?) and have sex with a condom as well? ( which condom is the safest? ) durex? I need advice and should I shave down there ? And will it hurt having sex for the first time? Will I bleed? Should we use lubricant? I really want to take all the precautions before having it.

Matilda, I think it is good that you and your boyfriend are asking questions before you begin sexual intercourse. Too many teens just act on hormonal impulse, without considering the possible consequences from early sex, and often come to regret their hasty decisions — unwanted pregnancy being the one you are worried about. I always advise postponing sex as long as you can and then with one partner you love. My impression from your email is this big step is imminent. The birth control pill will prevent pregnancies. However, your doctor needs to advise you as to which is best for your body; they vary with different side effects. I urge you to always use a condom too because they can also prevent HIV and STIs that the Pill cannot. The strongest condoms are made of polyurethane and cost more than latex ones. Pay attention to the expiration date. Does sexual intercourse hurt the first time for a virgin girl? Usually yes when the hymen is broken and the vagina is stretched. Sex is rough. You will bleed. Water-based lubricants could be used to make the initial entry and intercourse easier. One problem with shaving is you don’t want any cuts or razor burns that irritate the skin and could become infected. But that is a personal decision. Dr. John

From D, 15 I’m a gay female and a virgin. my girlfriend nd i have kind of been talking about sex recently, even if i’m a virgin, and we prob won’t have sex for a while, should i get tested for hiv? also if i test positive does that mean i can’t have sex?

Dear D, thank you for your question. I think that it’s good that you probably “won’t have sex for a while.” It is better to postpone first sex until you know you have found the right partner and you have looked at all the options. You didn’t say if your girlfriend is also a virgin, but if she truly is, then the chances of you having HIV are not very high, nor will it be high if you remain faithful. I always think HIV testing is good – in fact, the federal government recommends an annual test for all teens 13 and up (the CDC). If you test positive (always do a second test to confirm it) then you need to use precautions when having sex because the intimate sharing of bodily fluids can transmit HIV to a sex partner. I hope this helps. Dr. John

From Carlos, 16 Hey Dr. John: So I was having oral sex with my girlfriend after fingering her and my nails might have cut her. However, as i was eating her out some of her blood got in my mouth I noticed it about 5 minutes in eating her out. I spit as much as i could and brushed my teeth. Is it possible that i might get HIV. Aids? HELP.

Carlos, thank you for your question. Oral sex (cunnilingus on the female) is not known for being a prime transmitter of HIV. However, if your fingernails cut her and she bled — and you had an open cut in your mouth — there is a possibility. I do not recommend brushing the teeth vigorously after oral sex because the bristles can cut the gums causing bleeding. A strong mouthwash is much better. I don’t think you have a lot to worry about but get tested if you think best. Because you are 16, you cannot buy a home HIV test kit in a drugstore but a friend 17 or older can get you one or you can visit your family doctor or a clinic. Dr. John

From David, 17 Can you get a disease if you have sex with a girl the same night she had sex with another guy? Neither have a disease you were just the second guy to have sex with her

David, the answer is “yes” unless you wore a condom. Whenever there is unprotected sexual intercourse and bodily fluids are exchanged (semen into the vagina), the possibility is there for HIV transmission. You emailed, “Neither have a disease” – but how do you know? While you often can “see” a STI (STD), you can’t see HIV. Only a test can show if a partner is infected. My question to you: do you think a girl (or a guy) who is having multiple partners in one night without using protection, is doing the right thing? I am not talking morally – but health wise. Weren’t you worried that she had just had sex before you or did you find out later? Maybe you should get tested. Thanks for your question, Dr. John

From Gebrella, 15 hy doc,i have sores on my vagina but i am virgin i dont know wat seems to be a problem…..cause i’ve neva had sex before or am i dying or infected please help me i’m even scared to tell my mom cause she’ll freak out

Gebrella, I cannot tell you what you have but it should be checked out soon. Chances are the sores can be treated with medicine in a short time. You shouldn’t worry about dying and I am sure you are not infected with HIV/AIDS if you have not had sex before. It could be caused by an urinary track infection or even a bacterial infection. Please talk to your mother — or go to a free health clinic in your town (sometimes in the hospital).Your mother should want to help you get better but if you feel you can’t talk to her, see a school nurse or talk with an older woman whom you trust for advice. Thank you for writing, Dr. John

From Lou, 22 Hey doc I was in Amsterdam and I went into one of the windows with the girls in them I put a condom on but when I pulled out the condom came off is it possible I could be infected with HIV or soming like that freaking out abit

Lou, thank you for your question. Normally I am not in the business of assisting sex-for-pay encounters but this is the real world and I know other young men that go to the Amsterdam “window” brothels for the experience – almost a rite of passage for some guys your age. Sex workers around the world have high HIV/AIDS rates in most cases. However, Holland has a very aggressive public health surveillance system where the women are tested regularly and examined on a frequent basis. They are known for being “clean.” Authorities in Amsterdam do NOT allow underage prostitution. And the women are well-paid compared to their compatriots in other countries. That said, I cannot tell you that you don’t need to be concerned about STI exposure including HIV. When the condom fell off, you were unprotected even if briefly. To ease your mind, get tested. Now that you have had the experience, why not choose a romantic partner that you can build a relationship with? You deserve that. Dr. John

From Daisy, 18 My boyfriend brought up the topic of birth control so when the time comes it’s fun. He says he doesn’t like condoms because they don’t fit. I’ve actually been on the pill for a while even though I’m a virgin. He’s only slept with two people so if he tests clean and I never miss a day is there any reason we should use a condom?

Daisy, I can tell you are intelligent so I want to be clear. Anyone can choose not to use a condom for a variety of reasons. Your boyfriend doesn’t like the “fit.” That’s his prerogative although I think his objection is short-sighted. Birth control pills do not protect against STIs like Gonorrhea and Chlamydia that can be cured and HIV that has no cure. These infections are painful with serious consequences for both partners. If your bf has had at least two partners before you and didn’t use condoms, then he should be tested. The good news is that you both can buy HIV test kits at the drugstore and test yourselves together, in front of each other. If “he tests clean” then you can let him have unprotected sex with you – but beware that there could be serious consequences. So make the intelligent decision.

From Arnold, 19 Hey doc, i’ve just found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me and i don’t know for how long, it’s now that i’ve been dating her and we had unprotected sex many times ,should i be afraid???

Arnold, sorry for the heartbreak. However, what you don’t say is whether you have you ever cheated on your gf or were you both virgins? If she is having unprotected sex with other guys and you too, yes, you might be worried enough to get tested for HIV. It’s always lousy knowing that a sexual partner that you care for is not satisfied having with sex only with you — welcome to the real world. You’re 19, you’re probably a good guy and don’t deserve this treatment — but that said, cheating is part of many teen love affairs. This probably won’t be the only time either. So get tested and maybe look for another girlfriend and this time use condoms! Good luck, Dr. John

From Kangkan, 16 i am gay . i have been fucked 3 times by my partner without using condom but still we are not suffering fron aids. can we have it later on if we go on in this way?

Dear Kan, thank you for email question. My advice is you should be using condoms every time. You cannot “see” HIV immediately after transmission because it takes time (even years) for the virus to replicate and negatively impact your immune system and become AIDS. Perhaps there has been no transmission after three times but you are playing with fire. Please reconsider your need to have unprotected sex. At 16, you don’t know if you will stay with your partner. Please take care. Dr. John

From Layla, 14 hey dOc, i have had sex before like twice nd i wanna hv it again bt am kinda scared of falling pregnent, my cousin has had sex mOre times than i hv but she dOesn’t seem to be scared of being pregnent, wat can i do

Layla, thanks for writing. You ask about pregnancy. It’s important to know that all women are different. Your cousin may not be very fertile and that might explain why she isn’t concerned. Or she could be on birth control. Why not talk with your cousin? Are you afraid to talk with your mother (“bt am kinda scared of falling pregnent”)? I am glad that you understand that becoming pregnant at 14 is not a smart move. It is also not smart to get a debilitating STI (sexually transmitted infection) like HIV, Chlamydia or Gonorrhea. You can tell you partner to use a condom too. Or you can postpone further sex until you are older when you meet the right person – that’s smartest. Dr. John

From Anonymous, 19 Hello. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and I was also giving him a hand and blowjob. Afterwards I go in the bathroom and I see blood on my hand that I was using for the hand job. I show him and he checks his penis and finds out that it’s bleeding from my nail while giving him a hand job. Now I am very concerned because I can’t remember if I continued to have sex after the hand job. I need some help, advice, pointers anything please.

Thank you for writing. The skin of the penis is very sensitive and can be cut easily by a fingernail. Boys “know” how to masturbate themselves and rarely cut themselves in the process. I have had males write that they don’t tell their partner if the hand job was too rough and prefer to be stoic and uncomplaining, letting a cut or knick happen in their moment of passion. In your case, you know it was your nail. You said the oral sex took place afterward. If a little blood was on his penis in your mouth, this will not give you HIV.. I’m talking about a very small amount of his blood mixed with your saliva. However, if he was bleeding a lot and you had a cut inside your mouth, there could be an issue. I recommend a strong mouthwash before and after oral sex (and preferably a shower for the most hygenic approach). Dr. John

From Shamona, 15 I have sex with a 25 years old man, and am worried if I might be infected

Shamona, why the heck are you having sex with a 25 year old man? Why are you worried that you might be infected? Are you being forced to have sex with this guy? It sounds like you are being manipulated by a man who is raping a child. And that is a criminal act. He should be brought to the attention of the police. Are your parents aware? Your circle of friends? Something seems so wrong about the tone of your email because you appear to have little or no control over having sex with him — hence, your fear about the possibility of HIV infection. Yes, you could be at very great risk. If he is not using condoms with you, how many partners has he had before you without using condoms? It almost sounds like you are describing a pimp. Please get out of this situation immediately. And get yourself tested. You deserve better. Dr. John

From Itumeleng, 19 when ur virgina has scary saws does that mean you are hiv positive? if not what might be the cause and what is wrong?

If you are asking about sores on the vagina, it could mean that an STI (sexually transmitted infection) has developed. A female needs to visit her doctor or a clinic to be checked. There are medicines and treatments available to cure many STIs but not yet AIDS although it can be treated with often great results. Please take care and insist your friends tell their male partners to wear a condom. Dr. John

From Eric, 18 Hey doctor, i went on vacation recently and had a one night stand with a girl my age. It was only for a minute and she was ontop. I did not have a condom on, but i made sure i washed up. I’ve found out that this girl is known to “get around” Its been a month and i dont know what to do. Am i highly at risk?

Eric, thanks for writing. Sometimes one night stands are riskier because you don’t actually “know” your sex partner. However, you’ve heard she might be promiscuous. The problem is you don’t know for sure except that you engaged in unprotected intercourse. And because of that, I think you should get tested. Usually you need to wait more time but go and buy a home HIV test kit and test yourself. Why aren’t you carrying a condom around especially since you were on vacation? Dr. John

From Sarah, 16 Soo..Its july, but in Dec. I was dating a boy and his penis entered my vagina for less than 5 sec. I checked before and after if he had any precum…but he didnt fully enter ny vagina because it was hurting too badly… So he didnt break my hymen….Can i get hiv??

Sarah, thank you for writing. If you are absolutely sure there was no pre-cum, and he didn’t break your hymen, then you would not likely get pregnant – however, there is no way for me to give you an answer with 100% assurance, that HIV or a STI (STD) wasn’t transmitted in that brief encounter. Most likely not but that is based on your email information HIV travels through hot bodily fluids and even a slight cut on his penis or inside your vagina could be the entry point for HIV-positive blood. It’s important to use condoms every time. Take care, Dr. John

From Anonymous (Male), 25 Hey Doc,I slept with my girlfriend without a condom while I was not aware that I’m hiv+. Since last week she is always complaining of a headache,stomach and she is becoming very thin so fast.I’m afraid to tell her the truth and I need to know that,is the anything that can change her body to normal?and how can we keep our cd4 above 500?

Usually, I do not answer questions from people older than 22 or 23. However, in this case, your email is one that I want to share with teens who are sexually active or about to be. Am I correct in understanding that you did not know you were HIV+ when you were having unprotected sexual intercourse with your girlfriend? When did you learn about your HIV status? And is it correct you still haven’t told her (“I’m afraid to tell her the truth”) even though you noticed her deteriorating health condition? If true, you are a poor excuse for a man. Stop your lies and get her to a clinic to be tested immediately. If you live in the U.S., ask about PrEP (correct spelling for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) for her but it sounds like it could be too late for any emergency medicine. You sound like you are more interested in your own CD count than thinking about your girlfriend. You should be deeply ashamed but I am not sure you have that capacity of feeling. You could have used condoms to minimize the risk of HIV but again, you were thinking only of yourself.

From Frank, 16 I just had sex with my girlfriend I have a small sore on my penis. She is a virgin so if her virginity blood touch it can I get HIV or AIDS.

Frank, was the sore there before you had sex — or did it appear after sex? If it was there before, you should use a condom to be on the safe side. If she is truly a virgin, then you shouldn’t worry too much, as you describe the situation. However, if she had received HIV before you (at birth or needle transmission, etc.), there are no guarantees. I know you want me to give you an A-OK but there are too many variables. Have you had unprotected sex before? If yes, have you ever been tested? If the sore goes away, just let your doctor know during your next visit. If it persists, definitely see a medical professional. Good luck, Dr. John It been there they said it comes from the sweat and dirt that be down there and not bathing correctly Frank, it’s good to hear you saw a medical professional. Now follow their advice and good luck in the future. Dr. John Ok thanks

From Lizzy, 22 My boyfriend is hiv positive,last night while having sex the condom just cracked but he removed his penis emmidietly after the scene,do you think he infacted me

Lizzy, I am concerned that you might have been put at risk for HIV as a result of the condom breaking. Yes, it is good that your partner pulled out immediately but fluids could have been exchanged in that brief time. Please go to the doctor or a clinic today and explain the situation. Ask if you can receive PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis), a new HIV prevention method. Insist on seeing a qualified medical professional. Condoms come in all sizes and quality of manufacture. You need to buy the best ones (made of polyurethane) and have them ready. Do not rely on free condoms if they are of questionable quality. Do a Google search. I wish you the best – I know this must be scary for you. Fortunately, not every sexual act with an HIV-positive partner leads to HIV. Keep me informed please. Dr. John

From Anonymous (Male), 15 Do i get hiv by mustarbating I am “M”( by rubbing my pennis/whatever it is ) i nearly did a tons of time more than once it fallen on my hands also i washed with soap whenever i did , do i get hiv this is my Q plz answer me !! Dont send any case or etc on me plz.Thank u john

Dear Anonymous, age 15: First, I do not share information or email addresses online. I read each question with a member of my staff. That said, thank you for writing about your concerns about a connection between masturbation and HIV. You do not need to be concerned because your semen on your skin cannot transmit HIV to yourself. It is transmitted in hot human blood in bodily fluids from an infected partner. Masturbation is the safest form of sexual relief for an adolescent (as well as nocturnal emissions or “wet dreams”). It is also natural and nothing to be ashamed of. If you think you are doing it too much (“I nearly did tons of time more”) and it is affecting your stamina for sports or studies, then you decide. Teen hormones do not always allow one to self-regulate their habits, especially when pleasurable. Dr. John

From Mike, 17 Hi I had sex with a girl and she told me she just got off her period. It’s been a week since we had sex. And right after we had sex I urinated. For about 3 section blood came out of my penis. After that no blood has came out of my penis.

Mike, thank you for writing. In the subject area, you wondered if you were at high risk for HIV. I don’t know the sexual histories of you and your partners so I can’t judge accurately. But any unprotected sex with a partner that has had previous partners, is always an added risk. You also wrote that after sex, you briefly urinated with some blood. If this occurs again, you should get checked out by your family doctor or a clinic. Please consider using condoms every time if you want to be at very low risk for HIV and other STIs. Teens having sex today are taking chances – but why should you? Dr. John

From Gabriela, 13 Am I considered sexually active if i (suck) my boyfriends penis? and i know im VERY YOUNG to be doing this but i need an answer quick

Dear Gabriela, Your age does bother me — because you are entering adolescence and your body, brain and immune system are still maturing. At 13, you are more likely to catch an infectious disease, a STI (STD) because you lack the physical system of a fully matured 21 year old female. Yes, you are considered sexually active whenever you engage in sex, even oral sex. Adults will tell your generation, “just say no to sex.” Yet most teens disregard this kind of command, with a majority choosing to engage in sex at 16. So are kids wrong? …or ignorant? …or fearless?… or in love?… or sexually curious? Just asking. I agree with you that you are “very young.” A question to ask is why take these risks now? Is it worth it? Perhaps you can think of 5 good reasons in the moment, but you might later come to regret the consequences of being sexually active at 13. I suggest you rethink your options. Perhaps you can postpone sex until later with the right boyfriend. Take care, Dr. John So I am sexually active even though we really didn’t have sex I just sucked his Penis 🙁 but now my parents think I’m pregnant can I get pregnant if I just sucked his penis. And yes I will I told him we are done so I’m done with this and what are the symptoms if I am pregnant?Thank you so much for your help and yeah age does matter in this situation Thank you for your help. Gabriela, you cannot get pregnant from oral sex – the male’s sperm needs to fertilize an egg during vaginal sexual intercourse. You sound like a smart young teen. Growing op is never easy and I hope your parents understand that mistakes happen – but do not need to be repeated. Thank you, Dr. John Ok that is good to know. So my parents….well dad is going to get me tested to make sure I am not pregnant. Will it say she is sexually active or not? Gabby, I think it is good you told your parents and your Dad wants to have you tested for pregnancy. But again, going by what you first wrote, you cannot get pregnant from oral sex – unless that is not the whole story. Please remember that you are at risk for HIV and STIs if you have sexual intercourse without a condom. Birth control does not prevent transmission of infectious diseases. Dr. John Ok like what are the %’s of my getting HIV and STIs? Again thank you so much for your help. I can’t answer the %. Oh ok but thanks for your help goodbye

From Nina, 19 Can a girl get hiv even if the boy she slept with didn’t sperm in her? Can hiv be cured if found within 10 days of infection?

Nina, your questions are asked frequently. Yes, a female can contract HIV when having sex — even if it appears that no semen was ejaculated inside her. Most all males have “pre-cum” that leaks from the penis when aroused. There is also the mixing of hot bodily fluids during intercourse however, brief. If her partner has HIV, she could be exposed although transmission is not 100% certain. No cure is available at this time — although some medical emergency workers can receive medical help to prevent HIV within 24 hours of exposure. Nothing is available to the general public. There are charlatans (liars) out in cyberspace that will try to sell fake medicines to anyone desperate enough to try unknown chemical concoctions that do not work. Thank you for writing, Dr. John

From Diana, 19 My boyfriend doesn’t to wear a condom but we have been having live in sex since 4yrs now , he samtyms ask me to go testg together but am scared .

Thank you Diana for your question. Yes, getting tested for HIV can be a scary thing for some in your age group because uncertainty can be stressful. However, many youths want to know their status — and that of their sexual partners, because “it is better to know.” If you prefer, you can get tested in the privacy of your bedroom by buying a home test kit at any drugstore. You and your boyfriend can do it together in front of each other. Most likely, you will test “negative” which means that you do not have HIV. If by any chance you test “positive” then you need to get a second, confirmatory test. There is medicine available to help someone testing for HIV – that’s the good news. Dr. John

From Suraj, 18 While playing i injured myself with a needle ( it was only an injection needle). Does it mean i have hiv

Dear Suraj, thank you for your question. Unfortunately, I do not have enough information to answer your question. Was it a clean needle or a used one that you found? If it was an injection needle as you say, did it have any fluid in the syringe? Did the needle pierce your skin? Obviously, you should not play with any needles especially one you may have found. You probably were not exposed to HIV but you could have been exposed to Hepatitis. Take care, Dr. John

From Monalisa, 21 my boyfriend has been fingering me into my vagina.he did it for the second time and minutes later l saw stains of could I have lost my hymen and will l not bleed the first time l have sexual intercourse and l’m worried if l’m still a virgin.please help

Lisa, thank you for your question. It is very possible that your hymen has been broken by your boyfriend’s digital penetration (“fingering”). If so, it is a matter of interpretation whether you are technically a virgin. I say you are still a virgin but in some cultures a husband sometimes looks for blood on the wedding night. I am not sure if this is a concern to you because you say, “I’m worried if I’m still a virgin.” It is possible that his penetration cut you and that was the blood you saw. You should check with a doctor or nurse. I hope this helps. Dr. John

From Austin, 18 1 Okay I’ve had unprotected sex for the first time over a few years ago and we were both virgins. Does that mean I’m clean if nothing has happened? 2 Now I am with a different girl and she is a virgin and has been tested for stds and is clean. Now if me and her had unprotected sex could either of us get stds?

Austin, thank you for the two questions. Are you saying you have only had one sex partner before this new virgin you want to have unprotected sex with? If you have had more than one partner, would you tell the new gf? I am sorry to be the skeptic, but how do you know she “has been tested for stds and is clean?” Why would she get tested if she was a virgin? Did she think she was at risk? I am not sure if unprotected sex is the best option for you two? Have you tried condoms? Can you believe I have so many questions? Dr. John Haha you have more questions than me! she use to go to bad parties and stuff but never had vaginal sex I’m sure she has done other things though or because her mom has known she use to go to bad parties and so she made her get tested. I know unprotected sex is not the smartest thing but I just want to make sure just in case something happens in the heat of the moment and decide to not use condoms. I was just curious if that would mean I am clean. And besides a small chance if pregnancy since she is on birth control (also because she use to go to bad parties) can either of us get stds and if so do you know the specific ones? And yes I have only had one sex partner. Until now but me and the current girl have done nothing yet Austin, the problem is still the same. It is next to impossible to “know” with certainty if someone not HIV-positive or is a virgin (no vaginal intercourse). Why did her mother insist she get tested? Please think before having unprotected sex. Dr. John

From Osh, 18 If I Have Sex With The Same Sex Partener and We Both Don’t Have HIV / Aids And I Eat His Buttox Can I Catch the Virus ?

Dear Osh, how do you know that “We Both Don’t Have HIV / Aids?” Have you both been tested? Was it recently? Did you test yourselves in front of each other? You can do this by taking the 20 minute oral swab home test kits sold in drugstores. Otherwise, you are just going on faith alone, not factual results. Regarding analingus, unless you have an open cut in your mouth or bleeding gums, and no bleeding is apparent on your partner, there probably is not a huge risk for HIV transmission. But some STIs can be transmitted if anal intercourse had previously occurred. Whatever you do, be sure showers, antibacterial soap and strong mouthwash are used. Thank you, Dr. John

From Kenny, 17 Hi doc I have a question thats been on my mind for some time now what happens if you touch your penis then to a small cut is it possible to get hiv from it?

Kenny, thank you for your question. HIV travels in hot human blood (not when dried or covered by a scab) and in our bodily fluids. You can’t give yourself HIV from touching your own penis to a cut on your hand, for example. However, if your penis opening touches the open wound/sore that exposes you to the blood of a person with HIV/AIDS, there is a possibility, although slight, of HIV transmission. Be sure to tell friends that if they engage in unprotected sexual intercourse, they are at risk. Condoms can help prevent HIV. Dr. John

From Christine, 18 can i still get aids even though the penis did not enter to my vagina. sorry but im not fluent in english. Thankyou!

Christine, thank you for your question. If you had sex and your male partner did not enter your vagina, then there is less likelihood of you getting HIV. However, if his penis rubbed up against your vagina, there is a possibility that his precum could have seeped into your vagina, transmitting HIV. The infection travels in hot bodily fluids from one partner to the other. If you are worried, get tested and tell him too. You should use condoms. Dr. John

From Traktor, 15 Hi doctor , i dont know english so well so i hope you understand me , i am 15 years old , i masturbated a while ago and ater i ejaculate i saw on my penis it was a little blood , i am worried about it , can u tell me is there something to worry about ?

Dear Traktor, thank you for your email. Masturbation is normal for all males. Sometimes, a boy might roughly handle his penis in his excitement and could cause a minor cut or abrasion. If your semen continues to show blood, you need to talk with a family doctor or visit a free clinic. You can ask them to keep your visit confidential. Take care, Dr. John

From Tony, 21 I had sex with a male who tested negative for hiv… we did use a condom but after the first round so to say he was ready for round 2… so I got on top without a condom to ride him but only for a few mins because he was still Tryna recover from round one…. he couldn’t keep it hard in we stopped no ejaculation or any…. that was back in January…. we haven’t messed around since…. we both moved on he has a new partner in so do I but I recently got in touch with him in he told me he tested positive for HIV n April… am I at risk…. I’m very scared to the point I vowed off all male gay activity…. how high is my risk of having HIV from him

Yes, Tony — you are very much at risk. You should get tested immediately – either by blood in a clinic (could take 7 or more days) or quicker if you buy a home test kit at your local pharmacy (oral swab – 20 minutes). You should know that condoms are necessary. Hopefully, you are not positive. Thank you, Dr. John

From TeeKay, 19 will a 10 year old boy who cant produce sperms contract hiv after sexual intercourse with an 18 year old

Thank you for writing TeeKay. Yes, a boy of 10 could contract HIV or any STI from sexual intercourse with a person that has HIV. I hope you are not describing a real situation because it would be a CRIME if it occured. You didn’t mention if he is having sex with a female or a male. Although a boy normally cannot produce sperm at 10, his penis can get erect. If he gets a cut on his penis during sex and hot blood is exchanged, HIV can be transmitted. If he is the victim of passive anal intercourse, then his rape (because that is what it is under the law) would be very dangerous for him. Because of the child’s age and physical development, his immune system and internal skin membrane is not strong enough to protect his health as would be more likely for an adult of 18. If you can stop this scenario from unfolding, please do so even if it means reporting it to the family and authorities. Dr. John

From Bray, 18 My partner got tested for HIV an was negative. I never cheated on her. So does that mean I’m negative too

Bray, your question raises concerns. It is important to understand that simply because your sexual partner has tested negative, does not mean that you are also negative. Only taking a test will determine that. Thank you, Dr. John

From Amber, 18 Hi Dr. John. I was wondering if I am possibly at risk of contracting the HIV virus and other sexually transmitted diseases if the guy that performed oral sex on me using his fingers did the same to another infected girl a few hours earlier? Thanks

Amber, thank you for your question. If I understand you correctly, you are concerned that your male sex partner had sex with a HIV-positive female “a few hours earlier” before being with you. How do you know this girl is infected with HIV or a STI? HIV passes sexually in hot human blood from one infected person to a partner during sexual intercourse, and usually not from fingers inserted during oral sex. However, it can happen. Do I think you are at risk? I don’t have enough information. Was this a one-time thing? Does the boy have numerous sex relations with this female including unprotected sex? Was he bleeding when he used his fingers on you? You probably are okay but do get tested so you know for sure. And ask your male friend to get tested too. Dr. John

From Emily, 16 Hello. So me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. Neither of us have been with any other people. He has given me oral sex for 15 seconds and has fingered me. I am worried I could have an sti from this. Is this possible if we’ve never been in a sexual relationship with anyone else?

Emily, thank you for writing me. I get many questions like yours from young females wondering about the consequences of their first sexual experimentations. It is important to mention that if a teen postpones early sex there are few if any physical problems. For example, no STIs (STDs) can be transmitted and unwanted pregnancies are avoided. You raised the issue of STIs (STDs) resulting from oral sex by your boyfriend and the use of his fingers. While a STI is not likely if you both are virgins, there is a possibility of genital warts and other STIs, especially if one partner is not being truthful about being a virgin. Take care and have a good summer. Dr. John

From Kayla, 21 My good friend was recently diagnosed with hiv yesterday. a few days prior to his diognosis i got us a pizza and he didnt eat his crusts so i ate his already bitten crusts( my favorite part of the pizza. please tell me what the risks may be in this reguard. also what if he had blood in his mouth and i had an unknown cut of sorts in my mouth. what is the risk in both cases. he is a gay male amd im a straight woman so no kissing or sexual relationship in anyway. forgive me if im misinformed or sound ignorant.

Kayla, thank you for your questions. I have been around HIV-positive young people for over 20 years, sharing meals and drinks, and I do not have HIV. There has to be direct blood transfer from the HIV-positive person into another. Unprotected sexual intercourse allows for hot blood to enter the partner. In the event of deep kissing (French kissing), saliva acts as a barrier that fills up small cuts to prevent bleeding profusely. Now if a person has just been kicked in the mouth and the partner has bleeding gums from the dentist (for example), I would not recommend sharing the blood but still kissing is a low risk. Enjoy your pizza crust! Continue to be his good friend. Dr. John

From John, 16 What it you just cut you hand and you cum on it will you get aids from it ?

Thank you John for your question. No, you cannot give yourself AIDS from your own sperm/semen entering a cut on your hand. HIV enters the body from an infected partner — you cannot give it to yourself. Masturbation is perhaps the safest form of sexual release for the male (nocturnal emission “wet dream” is safe too). Good luck in school. Dr. John

From Anonymous (Female), 12 If I play with my vagina can I get an sti

Thank you for your question. Under normal circumstances you cannot give yourself a STI (STD) from masturbating. However, if someone else played with your vagina, there is a possibility that if they had a STI that their contact could infect you. Masturbation for either a female or a male is a very safe form of sexual release as far as STIs or HIV/AIDS are concerned. Like anything in life, keep your body clean and your hands washed. Dr. John

From Lexie, 15 Hi. Well I am 15 and I had anal sex like 6 weeks ago. And I was also fingered. But I am still a virgin. But my question is…. Is there a slight chance that the sperm could have leaked into the vagina? And is there a chance i could be pregnant? I had no one else to go to. My parents can’t know either. I am really scared. Because I have been having all the symptoms of pregnancy. And I have skipped my period. I didn’t have on in April or may. And I’m terrified. Please please answer fast.

Thank you for writing about your question. Going by what you told me, you cannot get pregnant from anal intercourse. One issue is that he wasn’t wearing a condom and pulling out he might have dropped sperm in your vagina and not noticed. You are 15 and need to think very clearly about your choices. There are consequences for our actions. If you don’t want to get pregnant, either don’t have vaginal sexual intercourse, or use birth control and insist your partner wears a condom. There is nothing wrong about postponing future sex until you are older — and wiser. However, I am more concerned that HIV can pass during anal sex when the membrane skin can easily tear and bleed. You are young and still maturing. Your immune system is not fully developed and that helps you fight off infectious diseases. Some young people have anal sex to avoid pregnancy. If they have unprotected sex they are taking major risks — pregnancy and HIV/AIDS. Please rethink what you are doing. I can tell that you are a thoughtful person with a bright future. Dr. John

From Jaden, 19 Hey,i’m Jaden..i’m 19 and my girlfriend is 17 and was a virgin…i had unprotected sex with her and am worried that she might be pregnant..she means the world to me but i’m not ready to be a dad yet…i wanna get a ph.d in economics and i’m afraid that it will destroy my aim..p.s lesson learned.

Jaden, your email arrived early this morning. I am disappointed that you chose not to protect your virgin girlfriend by using a condom to prevent STIs, AIDS and pregnancy. You are the older and wiser one (i.e., “p.s. lesson learned”). Your words and tone strike me as being very self-centered. You care more about yourself than you do for her: “… i’m not ready to be a dad yet…i wanna get a ph.d in economics and i’m afraid that it will destroy my aim.” What about her future? I find your comment that she means the world to you a lot of bs. I assume you are not a virgin. Have you been tested for HIV? If not, do it now and stop having unprotected sex. You are living during a very dangerous time when teens are contracting HIV unknowingly. Dr. John

 From Madison, 17 I was beaten and raped by my moms boyfriend who has aids and his friend who has the aids virus as well. Neither came inside me and it didn’t last very long it was mostly extremely painful anal and they went in my vagina once or twice which did take my virginity.. I told my grandma and my dad they are both infuriated at the men.. my dad knew that my moms boyfriend had aids and wants me to get checked.. I’m to scared to though.. I want to know but I couldn’t stand it if it was positive. Could I have the virus? What should I do?

Madison, thank you for your email. Raped? By two men living with AIDS? And you’re still under the age of consent? Run, don’t walk to the police. This rape needs to be reported immediately. What if they are having unprotected sex with other women )your mother too) and girls? I understand that your grandma and father are “infuriated” but your Dad should have brought you to the police and then to get you tested. You didn’t say how long ago this happened so a medical examination might not prove rape. Some police are also wary of rape claims as some have been falsely reported to disguise consensual sex. The police should find you a rape counselor. You can also buy a home test kit at any drugstore without a doctor’s prescription. They are called “OraQuik” and while I believe they are grossly over-priced ($39) it’s a kit that simply requires you to do an oral swab of your mouth and then wait 20 minutes for accurate results. I am very sorry to hear of this horrendous news. Please keep me informed. Dr. John

From Rob, 20 I was having sex with my girlfriend and after we had done we saw that on the condom there was blood, not alot but still some, so I looked at my ball sack and I had cut it and now she is ill and I don’t know what it is, is there any chance it could be HIV?

Rob, thank you for your question.  I am not sure that there is any connection between the blood you found on your condom and your girlfriend feeling ill.  You didn’t say how long ago this incident occurred. If it has only been a few days, it would be too soon for HIV to develop and compromise her immune system. Is it possible that she was worried seeing the blood and her reaction is psychcosomatic?  It might have no medical connection.

Whenever you notice a cut and bleeding, be sure to stop and wash. Think of an alternate way to find sexual release for the healing period until the cut has healed. There are home HIV test kits sold at any drugstore. They are expensive ($39) but a test might allay your fears. Usually you should wait a month or two before testing but in some cases, earlier findings can be accurate. You are doing the right thing to use condoms and to share this information with her. You are to be admired. Dr. John

From Marissa, 23 Hi my name is Marissa and I have been thinking about for the past couple days. My boyfriend is HIV positive and I’m negative and we had unprotected sex a couple days ago. He said that i won’t get it cause he’s been taking his meds. I’ve read that it’s a lower risk that someone like me will get HIV but than I find other stuff that I’m still at risk. So my question to you is, am I at risk to get HIV?

Marissa, it was good to get your email but I was saddened to learn that you had unprotected sex with your HIV-positive boyfriend. I understand that lovers might choose to show their commitment by trusting each other and not using a condom but it is still unwise. Even though your boyfriend is “on meds” (his words to you) he knows from his doctor that HIV never leaves the body. There is no cure yet — although we all hope and pray that a medical solution is coming.

I get upset with young males that act out of selfish, sexual pleasure motives and try to convince their partners that condoms are not necessary (some females do the same).  If you continue, your risk will become greater. That is the truth. Dr. John

From Eve, 19 Hi Dr John, I nearly has sex with someone. Im still a virgin. We only touched. I was experiencing burns. It could have been a thrush so I took Fluconazole for it as well as a cream called Clotrimazole. Shortly either I got my monthly period. I am also on contraceptives so what are the chances of being pregnant? The burns and pain have gone but I’m a bit scared. Could it be something else other than a thrush? If yes, what? Thank you in advance.

I am sorry Eve but I cannot answer questions about the appropriateness of medications by email. You will have to go to a clinic or see a doctor for these answers. I specialize in answering questions about HIV prevention and AIDS. Good luck. Dr. John

From Jeremy, 18 My girlfriend gave me a blowjob and i poked her and i couldnt have a shower because i had to stay at someones elses house will that give me any aids or sti, as she is clean and only given oral in the past

Dear Jeremy, thank you for you briefest of questions. You didn’t say whether you used a condom. I am guessing not? So yeah, if you penetrate your girlfriend without protection then there’s a risk of HIV/AIDS. Taking a shower helps if you clean your penis after sex. Dr. John

From Sheila, 18 If my boyfriend has sex with me with no condom and I’m on my period and I don’t have hiv can he get it from being in contact with my blood

Sheila, the chances of that happening during your period is a possibility but if you were/are virgins, then chances are less – but not impossible. Have you ever been tested for HIV? How long ago? And have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else in that time? How about him and other partners? You can buy home HIV test kits now in drugstores near where they sell the home pregnancy tests. You do not need a doctor’s prescription as long as you are 17 years old.

From Elliot, 18 Hello sir, its a pleasure to write to you. I am 18 and I feel that I am old enough to have safe sex with my girlfriend, who is also 18. We have talked over it and after thinking, she agreed to practice safe sex with a condom, which I am happy about. Neither of us havent had any sexual contact with anyone and happy to describe ourselves as ‘Virgins’ . We decided to perform oral sex at first just to please ourselves and adjust. But as i’ve heard about STD’s which can pass through performing oral sex. I am pretty much worried about this (although we both are virgins) that STD’s might pass into our bodies. So sir my question is, is oral sex safe if both the partners are virgin? I dont want to take any risks before getting your reply sir as I am worried about her as we both love each other alot and I would not want her to be infected. I would really appreciate your reply sir. Thankfully yours, Elliot. (P.S please forgive me for my bad english)

Elliot, I think you and your girlfriend have postponed sexual relations to an age when you are both of majority and can make intelligent choices (I worry about emotionally immature 13 and 14 year olds that start early sex without the basic safety information and precautions). First I am impressed that you are thinking about your partner’s needs: “I am worried about her as we both love each other alot and I would not want her to be infected.” If you are truly virgins (again and again, I say, how does someone know for sure about a partner?) then there should be no risk of infection by STIs, and not for HIV from oral sex. As with any sex and the possibility of exchanging bodily fluids, it is better to be clean beforehand; use mouthwash before and after oral sex; and always use condoms for intercourse.” Dr, John P.S. Your English is very good – better than some American high school teens. But because you are interested, here is one correction to your sentence: “Neither of us havent had any sexual contact…” It would be better to write: “Neither of us have had sexual contact…”

From Lisa, 16 Hey well me and my boyfriend have had oral sex and I wasn’t worried about it before he’s had sex with other girls and that didn’t really bother me! I’m not ready to have sex and I don’t have having sex for a long time! I don’t mind oral sex so anyways back to what I was talking about I wasn’t nervous till before than saw this list of things that can happen if you have oral sex! Pregnant was one of them and that’s what makes me most nervous. No we don’t use condoms which I mean isn’t probably the smartest idea but I’m new to all of this so I don’t really know what to do and I figure if your not ready to have a kid your not ready to have sex and I’m no we’re ready to have a kid so I guess  I’m just nervous about it now because of that thing I read and I don’t know what to do??

Lisa, thank you for your email question. A couple of things. I think it is smart that you do not have sexual intercourse now at your age. You are correct that you don’t need a baby at 16.  There is too much pressure in school and the media to push sex as a really great thing — but it isn’t for many teenagers. Besides pregnancy, there are many STIs out there and HIV/AIDS is the worst. Early sex can mess up a teen’s life. You cannot get pregnant from oral sex. Maybe what you read was that oral sex can lead to sexual intercourse? You said your boyfriend has had other girlfriends before you. That could be a cause for alarm because along the way, he might have picked up a virus or he is still seeing them. However, sex should not be a scary thing – it can be pleasurable and important in a committed relationship. There is no reason why you can’t postpone further sex until you are older and more sure what you want in life. Yours, Dr. John

From Isiah, 15 My girlfriend and I didn’t really have sex but we played around. I just put my penis next to her vagina. And rubbed it against it. Didn’t put it in fully. Can I get hiv? Ive had a sore throat for 2 days come back and then leaves. Idk if It’s from cold room or hiv but I’m really scared can I .get messaged back quickly

Isaiah, A maturing teen boy like you has pre-cum that leaks out when you are excited. That can seep into your girlfriend’s vagina if if you are not fully inside. If she has a STI you could catch it and vice versa. I doubt if your sore throat is a STI but it could be a cold. You need to understand that if you are having sex or about to, you should have a condom handy so you are prepared. Why take risks if you can be relatively safe? Dr. John

From John Becky, 19 can I get HIV if I have a cut in my mouth and my partner doesn’t?

Dear “John Becky,” the simple answer is no, you cannot get HIV from a cut in your mouth. I assume that you partner does not have HIV?  However, if your cut is bleeding, maybe postpone deep kissing and use mouthwash before French)kissing to avoid infections or cold viruses.  Dr. John

From Shep, 21 I am a male I am leaving with HIV ,I use condom whenever I hav sex but when I am busy my sperm leak and touch her vigina,will she be affected?

Dear Shep, I am sorry to hear you are living with AIDS. It is a very big problem in your country as it is around the world. It is very important that you tell partners of your HIV status before having sexual intercourse. You might not want to but it’s your human and social obligation to warn your partner of the possible risk. It is good that you are using condoms. I know HIV-positive people who have sex and use condoms every time. NBA star Magic Johnson got AIDS 20 years ago and he uses condoms with his wife and she has not gotten HIV. However, I am worried that you say during sex that sometimes your condom leaks semen into her vagina. That is very dangerous for her. You have got to figure out a way to have sexual intercourse that does not break the condom. It is your responsibility. In some countries like the U.S., a HIV-positive person can go to jail for knowingly infecting an unsuspecting partner. Whatever you do, talk with the girl beforehand and let her make the choice. There are female condoms available to that fit inside the vagina for extra protection. Dr. John

From Jenna, 15 Well I baby sit this kid and he is like almost 11 and we were playing twister and I felt his boner is it possible that he can cum(sperm)

Dear Jenna, a boy of 11 is old enough to produce sperm. It is a natural part of male puberty at that age. Dr. John

From Raj, 22 Dear doc, Good morning doc! I am from Nepal . from before 40 days I have anxieties with the fear of hiv . I have kissed a hiv+ girl. I have kissed for 5 sec. no blood was present. could you recommend me for testing?? I extremely need your help. thank you.

Dear Raj, I doubt that HIV could be transmitted as you described but here are some points to consider: How do you know she was HIV-positive? I have been to your lovely country Nepal and I know that some young men go to prostitutes for sex. Is this the case? You need to know that you do not need to see blood for a very small amount of blood to pass to a partner. You need a microscope to see HIV in blood and some bodily fluids. You should get tested to be sure, especially if there is more to your story that you did not write. Good luck. Dr. John

From Taniya, 18 l had sex with my boyfriend on Saturday when l was on my periods. Yesterday he started having pains in his penis and it hasn’t gone away. Could it have been caused by the period blood.If so what can be done to stop the pains

Taniya, I highly doubt that your boyfriend can be experiencing pains as a result of having sex during your period. More likely,it could be the result of something else – or from the physical exertion of rough sex. He should see a doctor if it persists. In any case, period or no period, you should be using condoms. Thank you for writing. Dr. John

From Sally, 17 Hello! I was wondering if both people have are clean from STDs/STIs (as in they got tested), is it possible for them to contract an STI/STD from the clean partner? Also, if both partners are clean, and assuming that they remain faithful, does that give them the passage to have unprotected sex? (minus the risk of a baby). Thank you!

Dear Sally, first, I need to make this very clear. Teens today are taking great risks when having unprotected sexual intercourse. There are so many STIs out there including HIV/AIDS. So I will never tell you there are no risks with unprotected sex because there are. However, if two partners are truly virgins (and how doe each one know about the other?), then sex should not transmit HIV. Tests for STIs and AIDS are only accurate until more sex happens. Then STIs/HIV could be passed. You’re young and smart. Don’t take risks. Dr. John

From Shubham, 22 hello doctor . i ask a question about hiv one day i wear my male friend pants at same time when he remove his pants then i wear some secends leater with out underwear .can i cought hiv for wearing his paint pls answer me on my email thakyou

Dear S, no, you cannot get HIV/AIDS from wearing someone else’s clothes.HIV is transmitted in the hot blood of a HIV-positive person to another directly through an opening in the skin. If there was any blood on clothes, it should be dry and that cannot transmit HIV. You might get a rash from wearing your friend’s pants without underwear bit don’t worry about AIDS. P.S. I should warn everyone that you never want to put you hands on anyone’s open, bloody cut. If a friend has an accident and is bleeding, take a cloth or a shirt and wrap it around the cut to stop the bleeding. Dr. John

From Naveen, 17 i have doute about HIV SIR tel any suggsion

Naveen, I don’t understand exactly what you are asking me. I realize that you are 17 and I believe you might live in a culture where sex and AIDS are not discussed much in schools. First, you should have no doubt that HIV exists – it does and many young females get it from having early sex with an older or more experienced partner. If you are a virgin now, it is highly unlikely that you should have any doubts about having HIV in your body. However, if you are sexually active, and have not insisted that your male partner use a condom every time, then you should get an AIDS test to allay any doubts you may have. Yours, Dr. John

From Reft, 22 I had protected sex with a virgin h.i.v and aids living gal now my ex.and i having confirmed with, does it mean am h.i.v. And i french kissed my new galfrnd,she this morning saying she has rushes,does that mean i hv pass t to her? Plz help m doctor…i dnt wana be hiv..i ll hang up ma self

Reft, I apologize but I might not have understood your English perfectly and my confusion can lead to incorrect advice. As I understand, you had protected sex with a virgin. But us she living with HIV/AIDS as a result of being born with it or do to a needle transmission? Then you said that your ex and you have been confirmed for a STI (STD) but what kind of STI? There are medications to cure some STIs. Having a STI does not mean you have HIV (it’s also a STI). You need to have a specific test for AIDS. I suggest you get one. If you French kissed with your new girlfriend, that should not transmit HIV although if your mouths have open sores from a STI, you could be transmitting that to her. Please don’t talk about hanging yourself. You are 22 years old with a whole lifetime ahead of you. I suggest you get tested soon, use condoms all the time until you settle with one woman, and tell younger friends to be careful about sex and use condoms. Will you do that? Dr. John

From Katie, 20 sir i had sex with my boyfriend many times but neither my seal was broken nor his sperm got into my vagina. Then i had sex with another guy and in that case also sperm didnt get into my vagina. I had not used condom in both cases. But my both partners have had sex with me for the very first time.they were experiencing it for the first time. and also haven’t been in contact with their sperm in my vagina. so just want to ask if i can get aids??

Dear Kati, Thank you for your question. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that you can get HIV whenever there is unprotected vaginal intercourse. You wrote that you have had two different male partners and each one inserted their penis into your vagina. Even if there was no sperm there might have been some pre-cum or seminal discharge, or a minisculeamount of blood that passed between you while having sex. HIV can be present in many bodily fluids even if sperm is not part of the sex. You are aware of condoms because you wrote specifically that you didn’t use them — so why not? Why are you taking chances with your health? Please rethink your priorities. You said the two males had sex for the first time — but how do you know? You would be surprised at all the emails I receive saying how partners lie to each other about previous sex partners. Yours, Dr. John

From Kim, 17 I am concern about something , my boyfriend has some numbs on his penis and I don’t know what it is, he said that he popped one and blood came out and he is always itching . We been having sex and I am not sure if it is ok having sex while he has that on his penis.. May you please inform me ASAP! Thanks , Kim.

Kim, thank you for writing. Your boyfriend needs to be checked out by a doctor or at a clinic before you continue having sex. It is important because most likely there are medications that he can take to help his condition. I cannot give an accurate diagnosis by email correspondence. You didn’t say if he wears a condom or not. Some STDs like genital warts can be transmitted easily by skin contact and even then then a condom doesn’t protect the groin area. Maybe the two of you should go to the clinic together in case the nurse recommends you be seen too. Until then, I strongly recommend no intercourse. Hope it works out okay. Dr. John

From Promise, 20 Sir i made oral sex 2 my girl last week friday nd nw 2day is monday i hav been sick .Does dat mean i hav hiv .

Dear Promise, there is no connection between HIV through oral sex three days later. You might have picked up a virus or had a reaction to her vaginal fluids but there was no hot blood to hot blood transmitted from her to you. Dr. John


From Stevie, 18 I foolishly had unprotected sex with a female with an unkwown status and few weeks I started being worried because I developed pimples on my pupic area”loin” (not on the penis), a month and a week passed then went to a medical doctor to get tested for HIV/AIDS and my blood was taken to the lab to be tested and the doctor told me to come and collect the results the following day. I then went to collect them and they came out negative……Im still worried because I read too much into this and but im scared to go for the second test….Your advice to me will be taken into consideration Dr John…thank you

Dear Stevie, I am glad that you used the word “foolish” about having unprotected sexual intercourse with a stranger. You are old enough to know that you need to use condoms until you are truly in a committed monogamous relationship. It is possible that you have picked up genital warts that are contagious by skin contact. It is probably something that can be “fixed” by medication. Usually it’s smartest to have an AIDS test after a few months for it to be most accurate but it’s good you got one and the results were negative. I question this sentence: “information sources are always telling people to test at least three times every three months.” You do not need to get tested so frequently — especially if you use condoms regularly. Hope things work out well. Dr. John

From Betty, 22 Hi doc I tested positive on 2011 july and I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and I told him to get tested too but he came back negative and we started using condoms. But sometimes in 2012 he would refuse using condoms and we didi it without condom an I realise that it was not a good idea I stop him and ever since we have been using condoms but still he’s negative I don’t understand cause I know I got hiv from the partner before I meet him what is happening to him could he have hiv or its hiding somewhere. Thanks

Betty, I am sorry to hear that you are living with HIV. I think it was good that you were upfront and honest with your boyfriend — every partner has the right to know. Some people do not get HIV easily – it’s a medical phenomenon. It allows some northern Europeans to avoid getting infected and I heard of a tribal clan in Kenya too. However, for most people, HIV can be transmitted during sex especially when the sexual intercourse is long and strenuous because there is more chance of internal membranes tearing and exposing blood. Even though you say your boyfriend is HIV-negative, how do you know? And did you take a confirmatory test after the first diagnosis? In any case, please insist on using condoms. There is also a female condom that is strong and be cleaned and reused. My best wishes to you. Dr. John

From Lauren, 13 What is the right age to masturbate?? And what can you use? How do you masturbate? And what are the best things to masturbate with?? (For girls)

Lauren, I do not advise teens on how to masturbate. It is a very personal practice that most all people do in their adolescence and beyond. There is nothing to be ashamed about but it’s best if you do what comes naturally. Using foreign objects can be a problem if not hygenically clean; there are places that sell sex toys for women and vibrators (even in drugstores). As an AIDS educator, I can tell you that masturbating will not give you HIV/AIDS but early sexual intercourse can. Thank you for writing. Dr. John

From Raphael, 19 I’m doing social services from my own interest. So today I heard that one of the guys I’m helping is actually HIV positive and because of this I’m very scared of working I mean helping him. So I wonder if you could give me some tips how to work with him in a safe way. Because most of the time I’m kinda scared afterwards. Like using the same toilet, eating from the same salat bowl or opening a door after him. I mean he only has to have a small wound and me too and I’m probably positive too right? And also when he is speaking he’s kinda spitting do i have to be scared? Thank you for your help. PS.: Sorry for my bad english I’m from Austria.

Raphael, Gruss Gott! Ich war ein Student im Katsch a.d. Mur (Steiermark) in 1966. Your English is much better than my German. How did you find this “Ask Dr. John” column? You should not have any real worries working with an HIV-positive person. I have been doing this work for 20 years. I sit with people, eat with them, hug them — and I am careful not to exchange any bodily fluids. Importantly, you should discuss your fears with him and listen to his answers. You might be very surprised to know that he has fears too from catching colds and influenza from you. I do not know of anyone who has ever contracted HIV/AIDS from using a toilet, a shower or a swimming pool. His hot HIV-positive blood must directly enter into yours – that’s why sex and needle sharing give people HIV – not casual contact. If you are very concerned, you can wear gloves like many people providing home healthcare. You can tell him you would feel more comfortable eating salad out of a separate bowl (I know Austrian custom). Regarding spit, again you don’t want it on you but it is not transmitting HIV. Be honest and upfront with him. I am sure he looks forward to the times you visit. By being positive in your outlook and acting friendly, you help to improve his health. Where are you from in Austria? I was just there last year in Wien and Steiermark. Dr. John, “Hans” Is this social work instead of military service?

From John, 13 Hello Dr. John I have a question about cleaning my hands after masturbating? I usually masturbate when I’m alone but one time I was masturbating and when I was finish I forgot to wash my hands so then I went and touched food and I ate a little but also my niece and she had a tooth that had fallen off! I don’t have any kind of STD but can my niece get it by eating the food I touched?

John, thank you for writing. You don’t have anything to worry about from touching food after masturbating. I believe you must be talking about a small amount in any case. No STIs (STDs) are transmitted from a 13 year old virgin boy touching food to another. Dr. John

From Daniel, 18 Good day sir. I had unprotected oral sex with my girlfriend yesterday. Yea it was our first time. I just wanted to know, what exactly can we do to prevent STD. Knowing well that we’ve done it already. Are there any tips or drugs (body system washing drugs) one could take.

Daniel, thank you for writing. I am slightly confused. In the subject for your email you wrote: “unprotected sexual intercourse.” Yet you mentioned you had “unprotected oral sex.” To clarify, penetrative sexual intercourse (the man putting his penis into the vagina) is different than sex with the mouth. It isn’t clear if you performed cunnilingus on her or if she performed fellatio on you. Usually, oral sex is not as risky as vaginal intercourse (anal intercourse is the most dangerous). You should be sure you are clean (washing or a shower beforehand) and use a strong mouthwash too. Some people recommend that you don’t brush your teeth before oral sex because the brush’s bristles could cause your gums to bleed. Hope this answers your question, Dr. John

From Prave, 20 Can i get hiv if i do sexual intercourse with 9 year old girl? Is she pre ejaculate?

Prave, I don’t usually say this to someone who writes me – but if you try to have sex with a 9 year old girl – I hope you go to jail for a long time! You are the worst.

From Lisa, 16 HEY SIR! im 16 and i had a bf tht is 21…we kinda were “in love” if i should say but he never forced me to do anything…we kissed alot of times and he fingered me alot too…one time he tried to put his penis in my vagina but it was hurting so i told him to stop…i was hoping for my period tht same week and the next morning it came…the second time he tried to put it in n was unsuccessful again because it was hurting n i told him to stop…he then tried to put it in my ass but that hurt even more n i again stopped him…after all this failure i decided to give him a ‘blowjob’ as it is termed….after that he rubbed his penis at my vagina and then he broke…like this white fluid came out and went on the ground…it didnt touch my private parts though…i wanna know if theres a possibility i could have contracted HIV…oh i noticed a small cut at my anus the next morning…it has been two weeks now…and i have no symtoms of HIV like soars or anything…i tested negative for HIV one week after the action…can i ahve contracted HIV?? thanks for the help!

Lisa, first let me start by saying there is no test for HIV/AIDS that can be accurate after only one week. For most, a period of one to three months is necessary. I am glad to hear your friend did not force you to do anything and when you told him to stop he did. But at 21, he has had more experiences than boys your age and if he didn’t want to use a condom with you, he didn’t use condoms with his other sex partners. The most dangerous way to have sex is anal intercourse. The skin membrane inside tears easily and that’s how HIV-positive blood can enter you. Are you sure you want to continue having sex with an older guy who doesn’t want to use condoms? HIV can be in a male’s semen and sperm. I don’t think you contracted HIV as you described the limited experience but remember, it only takes a microscopic amount of positive blood to transmit the virus into your body. Why take the chance? Make the right decisions now. Dr. John

From Missy, 14 My best frend since 5th grade is telling me we could have alot of fun if we went to the parties of the older boys. We are both on the jr cheeleeding team & older girls coach us. They tell Ellie my bff that this one jr.guy really thinks im cute and wants me to come to his party. They have beer. Ellie wants us to go but im afraid you know. Ellie says we cant be friends if i let her down. She said we should bring condoms i dont want anything to happen cuz my mom and church would be vry mad. Worried in Denver.

Dear Missy, I hope you read my reply before you go to that party or any place where older teens are drinking alcohol. I think you should stay home or go to the movies. Have you talked with your mother? I understand that Ellie is your best friend but you shouldn’t let her force you to go. I have had many girls say that when they drink they lose self-control. And sex can happen. Some get pregnant and others get STIs. Although a girl might consent, under the law it is statutory rape (look on Google). You do not have to have sex with anyone to be popular. Being 13 is really too young to start sex. You can say no, because he’s not the right person. You can use an excuse like you don’t feel well or you are having your period. It is your body and your right to choose. You would be smart to tell this to Ellie now so she doesn’t keep trying to force you. And you should try to convince her not to go. Any BFF that wants her 13 year old girl to have sex is a screwed up friend. Sorry but that’s my strong opinion. Thank you for writing me, Dr. John

From Robin, 23 sir, i had a sex twice or thrice with a prostitutes on sep13 i was not willing but she was eager to do without using condom and she told me to do sex without condom. about two months have passed and i have always fear that if i will affected with aids, please suggest me to clear my doubt.

Dear Robin, Your mother and father might disagree with me – but you must be stupid. I am sorry to say that but at age 23 you should know that having unprotected sexual intercourse with a prostitute is highly dangerous. What else can I say? Well, choosing to pay a sex worker is your decision and obviously I can’t stop you. But to say “she told me to do sex without a condom” is no excuse. If you pay, you decide whether you want to use a condom. And you should use a condom every time until you settle on your one partner. I think you should rush to a clinic and get tested as quickly as possible.I hope the test comes back HIV-negative but it might not.  Dr. John

From Korey, 18 I’ve had unprotected sex, a few times.. I’m gay and I’m not necessarily worried but kinda curious. The people I have been with I’ve been in a relationship with for quite a few months.. Please contact me back.

Dear Korey, I really hate to hear teens tell me that they are having unprotected sex! But I have no interest in being the Chief of the Sex Police. And I know lecturing young people gets no where. However, I can tell you that you are being foolish, not smart. You are taking life-threatening risks.  Like Russian Roulette, you might luck out the first few times but eventually, as the teen HIV epidemic spreads widely, you might not escape the bullet. Then how will you feel? I have known too many adolescents that got HIV/AIDS because of a mistake they can’t take back. I can’t think of any that wanted to get it. Why take the risk?   You are gay. So you must know the high number of infections in the gay community, higher than in the straight crowd (although those numbers are rising fast). It makes no sense when you suggest (sorta) that being in a “relationship” for a few months somehow makes it not so problematic.  I think you should be more concerned, use condoms every time for intercourse, before you wake up one day worried as hell. Take care Korey. You sound like a smart guy. Dr. John Thank you, you’ve made me feel so much better about the situation.. I am worried but it’s so good to have people like you to turn to about things such a this. Okay, now tell a couple of friends. Your advice could save them from making a tragic error. And enjoy Friday evening but be safe if you play. Although there’s nothing wrong about staying at home and doing that homework before Thanksgiving.  Dr. John

From Charity, 18 I have had sex once and i want to know if i am still a virgin

Dear Charity, your question is a good one. Technically, when someone female or male, has had sex even once, they are no longer a “virgin.” However, if you are 18 now, and it only happened once, you might prefer to “forget” that incident. Females are held to a different standard than are males in many cultures. A premium is placed on virginity when arranging marraige. I do not know your personal situation but I think honesty is the best policy. Thank you for writing, Dr. John

From Hem, 18 Sir i am18 years old.. I remember that i had sex with 2 girls may be at the age of 10 or 9 and they are also… I just kept my penis in their vagina but i don’t do friction also i don’t leak my semen into their vagina  it possible to get aids plz ans me dr sir

Dear Hem, thank you for your question. It is very unlikely that a 10 year-old can contract AIDS from sexual play (as you described) it with two gils of similar age. Usually boys don’t have semen at 10 but you might have been an exception. It is not uncommon for children of 10 to experiment. Since you are 18, symptoms of HIV would be apparent by now. You could get yourself tested for AIDS if you choose. When you are sexually active, please think first and use condoms every time. And tell your friends – especially if any are taking life-threatening risks.  You know who they are.   Yours, Dr. John

From Shantu, 18 Is she gets pregnant….After kissing her on vagina ..?????

Dear Shantu – thank you for writing. Do you think a female can get pregnant from kissing the vagina? Pregnancy requires the male sperm to fertilize the woman’s egg inside, not on the outside. If you meant to ask if someone put sperm into the vagina by mouth (cunnilingus) that is a possibility but not a widely practiced custom. Yours, Dr. John

From PM, 18 I had unprotected sex on 2nd 09 2013,i barely know the person and he didn’t cum on me, 2 weeks ltr had soar throat since den i hv been feeling serious fatigue body pains,soar in the mouth,burning sensation on my tongue,fever,joints and muscle aches,headache, generally not feeling well,ran hiv test at 4,6,7 and 9 weeks 4days all negative,was reactive to hepatitis C,I’m so scared i hv contacted the hiv,I’m a female,my questions is what are the chances i will come out negative at 3 months which is just 5days from now!help me please.

Dear PM, thank you for your question.  Have you been to see a doctor about your symptoms? It is smart that you have done HIV tests. Have you been tested for the major STIs? Yes, you can take another now at 3 months too.  If that is negative, and you haven’t continued to have unprotected sex since, you should not worry TOO much.   Yours, Dr. John

From DJ I got testest and my hep B shot and it came back negative. Then i got into a relationship with a girl and we had sex several times but i did use protection, there was 2 or 3 times it broke but i suddenly pulled out. Then i find out she has two men in her past that she had done stuff with.  Id like to get tested before and if i do anything with my new girlfriend but i or my parents cant afford it.  My girlfriend and i are both going to get testest sooner or later just to be on the safe side.

DJ, it is great that you are using condoms. However, I am not sure why many of yours are breaking. If you are following the directions, then don’t buy those condoms – get a better brand. If you go online there are lists of quality condoms. Be careful about using lubricants with latex condoms because some can cause deterioration. Only roll a condom over your penis when it is erect – never when it is soft because air bubbles can cause breaks from the friction during sex. There are free clinics in many cities. I don’t know where you live but call the local hospital or ask a school nurse for information. Be proactive and look for places that offer teens free testing. You might have to drive aways if you live in the country. But a few bucks for gas is cheaper than getting a cure for a STI — or god forbid, HIV/AIDS. Good luck. Dr. John

From BC, 19 Dear John, I had sex for the first time with a girlfriend 4 months ago, before we did it she said she was clean and I knew that she wasn’t a virgin. We did vaginal nothing else, I used a condom and it didn’t break or anything. About 10 days later I happened to catch the flu, it wasn’t bad I had a fever of 102F felt nauseated had a rash and had chills that day before a got it. Anyway about 9 weeks later I got worried that I might of caught something that I was looking up symptoms of HIV online, then I went in and got tested that same day. I got tested for the 5 main STDs HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and hepatitis. The results came back negative, it’s been a month now and I’m still worried. I have anxiety issues and I’ve made my self sick a few times just thinking about it. Now then here’s my question should I go in and get tested again? I know that was a long story and your answer will be a great help. Thanks!

Dear BC, I don’t mind long stories as long as they make a point to educate other teens. You did the right thing by getting tested. STIs like Gonorrhea and Syphilis show symptoms early on (within weeks) but HIV can take months to be detected. I suggest you go back and get tested again.   The symptoms you describe could be nothing more than a flu bug – or your worry is causing you to feel down.  You can buy home HIV test kits over the counter, without a doctor’s prescription and do it at home. It takes 20 minutes and uses your saliva, not blood. It is about 99% accurate. The biggest drawback is that they are relatively expensive at $39 plus tax — since only one company currently has the FDA approval to market them. With competition in the future, prices will fall to $15. But you did wear a condom! Now spread that news to your circle of friends – before someone you know might make a tragic mistake. Dr. John

From Kate, 17 What are the symptoms of aids ? i got raped a couple months ago, by a person that is HIV positive, im scared i have them … currently waiting on test results.

Dear Kate, first and foremost, I am saddened to hear that you were attacked.  Always go immediately to a rape clinic or hospital. If reported early enough, there are morning after pills for emergency care workers and you might have been eligible to avoid infection but you didn’t know the perp was HIV-positive at the time. Did the police bring you to a clinic or provide a rape kit? That is your right when you report this very serious, violent crime.  How long after the rape did you find out the person was HIV-positive? If it was many weeks or months that is a problem. Please tell friends that there are home HIV test kits now being sold over the counter in every drugstore. Tests are by oral swab and saliva – and does not require needles and taking blood. And you only have to wait 20 minutes for accurate results! However, no test will give immediate results after a rape because there is a window period where any results would be inconclusive. Educate your friends and I hope you heal. Dr. John

From Jane, 19 If my partner has aids and we  engage in lesbian sex acts is there a way that she can transmit the disease to me?

Dear Jane, many teens wonder about this possibility because we only hear about gay male and heterosexual HIV/AIDS. Normally, there would be less likelihood of lesbian transmittal but that is not to say it is impossible. Anytime the blood from an HIV-positive person (male, female, gay or not) comes in contact with another person’s hot blood, infection can occur. Kissing, fondling, touching and fingering should not cause blood but nails can break the internal skin membrane. Teen years are a period of sexual experimentation and relationships and orientations can and do shift. Who knows if a practicing lesbian today hasn’t had straight sex and just doesn’t admit to it – the same as a straight male trying gay sex for the experience? And even if a sexual partner takes a lie detector test (?) there is little way to know with 100% certainty that anyone is in a committed, monogamous lesbian relationship. Yours, Dr. John

From Anonymous, 14 Hi, I am 14 years old and I am little hesitant on this. I would appreciate a reply from you guys first guaranteeing that this will work etc. Thank you Kindly

If you choose, we will address our answer to the Column as”Dear Anonymous.” Is that okay? Remember, if you have a question or a problem, other teens might have the same issues. Thank you.

From Samantha, 17 So me and my boyfriend was having sex and we notice he was bleeding I was wondering if I could get aids ? & no we only have sex with each other.

Samantha, occasionally, I am asked this question. If you both were and remain truly virgins (and who knows because some people tell lies?), you should not be at risk for the sexual transmission of HIV. But have you ever shared needles with someone else including body piercings?  The virus is transmitted through hot human blood from one HIV-positive person into the partner’s body. Why take any chances if your boyfriend is bleeding after sex? You should be using condoms.  Or both of you could buy the new home HIV test kits (using saliva swab) and test yourselves in front of each other. It takes 20 minutes. Dr. John

From Jessica, 18 hi dr. john can someone get hiv if the guy is infacted but not the girl if there was no semen in the girls vajina

Jessica, thank you for writing because other teens have this question too. While HIV is found in semen, it is primarily transmitted through fluids and blood from sexual intercourse, either vaginal or anal.  Because sex is usually rough, skin membrane inside the vagina can tear and blood can be exposed to a partner’s blood (remember, you might not see any blood).  So the simple answer is yes. That’s why condoms should be considered a medical barrier to STI and HIV transmission.  Dr. John

From Rahul, 22 hello sir, sir i had sex with my two girl friends in the year 2009 . Actually i like to mention that am the responsible for their loss of virginity at my first sex with them.due to their hymen break i hav noticed some blood at their vagina. then after i didn’t noticed .  i didn’t use condom for both of them , is there chance of getting hiv for me? plz reply me sir!

Rahul, are you only concerned for yourself? That is the impression I get from your email. Why didn’t you use a condom with both girlfriends since you were the one to take their virginity? I doubt these two were your only females for sexual intercourse because it seems like you are bragging.  Grow up, get tested for HIV, use condoms every time until you can be faithful to one partner  — and act like a real man.  Dr. John

From Nicholene, 18 I have a open wound I’m my mouth ny partner is hiv positive will I get infected if I french kiss him

Dear Nicholene, if I understand your question, you want to know if an open wound in your mouth (meaning your blood is exposed) could be an entrance point for HIV from a HIV-positive partner when you engage in deep French kissing?  Well, it’s not too great of a chance because saliva in both your mouths acts like a barrier to direct transmission. But yes, there is always a possibility especially if he is bleeding but he doesn’t notice it. Why not wait until your open wound heals?  Other STIs can be transmitted this way. Yours, Dr. John

From Ali, 20 sir im really worried and i want to ask you that if i have sex with more than 1 girl with out condomj does it leads to aids r hiv plz reply

“Yes,” Ali, that is the answer to your question. If you choose to have sex without a condom, you are playing a dangerous game — but it is your choice. I just don’t want you or other guys to hurt any future partners and their babies. Thank you for writing.  Dr. John

From Sunnyboy, 16 if me and my girl friend we dont use condoms and we are hiv negative and we always sleep together we can get hiv ?

Dear Sunnyboy,Thank you for your question.  Normally, if a steady couple stays faithful to each other, and both are HIV-negative, then sex without a condom might be okay — BUT here’s the rub: how does a couple know that they are each/both HIV-negative? Only a HIV test taken at regular intervals can give one assurance and even then tests can be “false positive.” It is not enough for two partners to tell each other that they are both virgins — or haven’t had sex with someone else. I have found that people also “forget” about having sex if they get drunk or really high. In these cases, sexual intercourse without a condom is very dangerous. My point is that until you have tested each other, why are you taking any chances without a condom? I am sure that you and your girlfriend are faithful to each other as you say. But please consider getting tested. You can visit a free clinic or you can have an older friend buy you a “home HIV test kit” at any drugstore (currently the age is 17 or older to buy). I wish you a good life. Dr. John

From JS, 13 Listen I know I’ve made a mistake. I was lonely and not thinking. I went on a website and invited a person over and he came. We talked for 2 minutes then I got atop him and we made out. Then we stopped so his friend could come too. His friend wasn’t my type so I tried to veer away from him. I got back around the guy and began kissing. We were playing and then I started to suck his dick. Maybe for 3 minutes max. He then wanted to eat me out so I let him. He then wanted to fuck me no condom. I said yes. He wasn’t even hard. It was like 4 minutes.  He didn’t cum nor was he close. This is extremely urgent to me now that I realize I could have an STI. Before he came over and after he left I asked him if he was clean. He said he was. I just feel scared. Could I have anything..? Please help me I’m so scared

Dear JS, thank you for your email. I feel bad that you left me an email address that I can’t respond to so we will simply post it. I don’t mean to sound harsh but I can tell from your email that you understand that this kind of unprotected sex with a stranger you found online is potentially dangerous to your health.  If you invite a person you don’t know over for sex (and a friend comes announced), you are taking very large risks for a teen your age. A guy that says he doesn’t want to use a condom with you — is someone who doesn’t use condoms with his other partners. Those people are lat great risk for HIV/AIDS.   You can’t look at someone and “see” if the are HIV-positive. But they could be carrying it inside them. They might know or might not know their status but chances are that they wouldn’t tell you the truth. I have met personally with young people that have told me this.  After all, how many people want to have sex without a condom when the person announces they are HIV? Please re-think your attitudes about unprotected sex. If not for yourself now – for your baby in the future.  Dr. John

From DJ, 16 i have been tested for stds and it all came back negative and i did have my hep B shot and then i did stuff with my ex and im freaked out from if i have anything or not. since i was clean before and used protection, am i safe?

DJ, you should be alright if you have taken the STI (STDs) tests and used potection. However, your comment “then i did stuff with my ex and im freaked out…” leads me to believe maybe you didn’t use condoms then? It is difficult to be more exact without knowing details. You can always test yourself for HIV by buying a home test kit at the drugstore near the home pregnancy tests. One good word of encouragement – you did the tests and got a Hepatitis B shot. You’re smart – mow tell your friends.  Getting tested for STIs and HIV is needed after unprotected sexual intercourse.  Dr. John

From Bethany, 14 Hey, I’ve had sex when I was 14 and didn’t tell anyone for a long time, and I don’t plan on telling anyone. Until I am ready to tell my parents I have had sex, but I have had sex with 3 guys and they didn’t use a condom. I had a white discharge BEFORE I have made intercourse with them but now it’s like worse, comes back thick, with no smell, it doesn’t burn, or anything. I personally am to scared to take this up with my mom or anyone.

Bethany, it is important that you call or walk into a free clinic in your community. They will see you confidentially. If not, call a hospital and ask to talk to a nurse. You want to have this discharge checked out as soon as possible. It could worsen over time – treating it early on is the smart way. It is not smart however, to have already had sexual intercourse with three boys without using a condom. I strongly suggest you talk with your mother — or an Aunt or older sister/cousin to ask their advice.  Please take care.  Dr. John

From Marie, 16 Hey my name is Marie , I had sex with my boyfriend he’s my first , but the very first time we had sex my first time , I got a uti . We fixed that problem or what not …. He came ober this weekend and we did it …. A lot like 8 times because we haven’t been seeing each other , the first night he spent a night and we did it all night till 3 afterwards I just felt tiered . The next day we did it that morning , at a friends and I kinda felt sick afterwards we did it like a few more times and like I started getting cramps and felt sore and sick . Is this normal ? Did he go to deep ? I don’t wanna tell my mom she’s gunna freak out ! I just wanna know if ill be ok .

Marie, thank you for writing. If you are experiencing these many problems, you need to go to a clinic (especially if you don’t want to go to your family doctor) and get yourself checked out. This is not something that can be done by email over the internet. By any measure, you have had a lot of sexual intercourse in a short time. It is not always possible to tell your boyfriend not to penetrate too deeply. In the heat of sex that takes a lot of self control that a teen boy might not possess. However, I am confused by what you said about your UTI (urinary tract infection): “We fixed that problem or what not …. ” Either it was successfully taken care of or you have not been healed which could be an explanation for your current discomfort/pain. Go get checked out again soon.  Dr. John

From Sean, 21 I had sex but when I pulled out the condom was not on it had got stuck inside the girl should I be worried?

Sean, sometimes I have had this  question. It does happen but it’s necessary to have the used condom removed for the sake of your girlfriend’s health. If the condom doesn’t pass naturally, then advise her to go to a doctor or a clinic.  It would be good if you go with her even to just drive the car (or taxi) and open her door.  I hope it works out for her.  Thank you for writing.  Dr. John


If you both do not have HIV (because you are both truly virgins), then there can be no sexual transmission of HIV/AIDS. It’s important to remember that birth control cannot protect partners from HIV. However, using condoms can help protect you and your girlfriend. You are starting sex early – and that is your decision but I know from your four emails in just a few minutes that you are very worried about HIV. Many teens are not. I respect that you want advice but now educate yourself and be sure to tell your friends too.  Dr. John

From Emilio, 16 i have an STI for 12 months now can it still be treated?

Emilio, hey man! Get yourself to a doctor or a clinic asap. Do not wait around any longer. You didn’t say what kind of STI you think you have but there are medications for many infections that can be cured.To answer your question, yes, most likely it can be successfully treated if you seek help now. If you don’t have a family doctor that is discreet, go to a community health clinic immediately.  Never wait in the future. Please let me know that you have done this.  Dr. John

From Daniella, 15 Hi!  It’s really urgent you get back to me on this please!!!! You see, Tuesday I sorta had anal sex with a guy and he wasn’t wearing a condom.  But he only penetrated me twice and that’s when I called it quits. Now I need to know, could I have gotten HIV from this!?!!! please help!!!!!!!!! Like I’m so nervous! AndThursday I had like a small fever and vomited twice, until my sister can and have me medicine. I’m feeling better now, but I still really need you I answer my question!!! Please help me!!!!

Daniella, thank you for writing. As you have described the sexual intercourse, your boyfriend and you engaged in very short anal sex: “he only penetrated me twice”. That is probably not sufficient time for HIV to be transmitted. However, a possibility always exists. Please remember that anal intercourse is the most dangerous form of sex as far as HIV transmission is concerned. The skin membrane inside the anal cavity is easily torn from the friction of penetration, exposing your blood to someone else’s hot human blood that could contain HIV. If you choose to do this in the future, I strongly suggest that you always insist your boyfriend use a condom. If you are worried, get tested at a local clinic or buy a home HIV test lit and test yourself (it’s very easy, uses your saliva and results are ready in 20 minutes). Regarding your fever, it could be that it has nothing to do with the anal sex — or a result of your anxiety. Take care in the future, Dr. John

From Layz, 16 I bite my mouth quite a lot cuz I have anxiety attacks and it helps me, I made my mouth bleed but I would not snog my boyfriend until it stopped bleeding and then I snogged him can him or me get HIV/aids from this even though I waited till it stopped bleeding

Dear Layz, thank you for your question about snogging (for Americans, that’s like heavy French kissing). The chances of you contracting HIV through deep kissing is small but wherever hot human blood comes into contact with another person’s blood, there is a possibility. Open sores that bleed can bring STIs into your body. Only you know if your bleeding had stopped. If you are concerned, get tested and I suggest you seek counseling why your anxiety causes you to bite so hard you bleed. It can cause future problems.  Dr. John

From Dylan, 13 At one time my friend and I were expirimenting and pressed our penises against each others anuses. There was no insertion and he rarely has pre ejaculate I also doubt he has HIV can I get it? What are my chances?

Dylan, experimentation at your age would not likely result in HIV as long as you and your friend are both virgins (not having had penetrative sex before) and neither of you you have ever shared needles (and thus blood).  For your age of 13, you write in a very mature way. Keep up your studies and postpone sexual intercourse until you are older and more mature emotionally. This is good advice but you will choose to do whatever you want – no matter what I say. Historically, gay guys have had more HIV than heterosexuals so you have more reason to be cautious. Anal sex is highly risky, much more “dangerous” than oral sex.  Dr. John

From Seth, 16 last night my guy friend rubbef his penis on the outside of my vagina could I have gotten hiv?

Dear S, there is always a slight risk of any STI including HIV being transmitted from frottage or non-penetrative sex between the sexual organs. While it is not a major factor in HIV transmission, depending on the force of the humping, leaking from the penis can allow contact to be made.  When this occurs again, why not take the precaution of having your boyfriend put on a condom or use use a dental dam that is large enough to protect yourself?  “Better safe than sorry…”  Again, the risk is small.  Dr. John

From M, 17 So, I had unprotected sex with a man 2 months and some weeks ago. He says that he’s negative. But still, I must worry. I haven’t had any symptoms (I do know symptoms can take years to show up) during the intercourse, he pulled out of me and came on the floor. I also know that he sprayed his penis with this numbing spray (to last longer) before he pushed into my vagina and I know that with the light, the air, and the spray, his precum would die even before he entered into me. I had my period as normal. So I know his pull out method worked. I didn’t get pregnant. What is the risk? Thank you for your time.

Dear M, it is clear to me that you know a lot about the facts of sexual intercourse and HIV. It seems you are writing me to get reassurance that your unprotected sexual activity is going to be “okay.”

From Tess, 13 Can I get any sti’s if I was lying naked with my boyfriend?? We didn’t have sex we were just rubbing against each other. I know you can get crabs but can I get anything else?? Thank you

Dear Tess, thank you for your question.  The simple answer is yes, you can get genital warts and herpes through skin contact. However, that is only if it was skin against skin. If there was any fluid leakage from your partner on top or inside you (boys often have pre-ejaculation fluids) then STIs could be transmitted  Your message didn’t explain in too much detail, so the risk of STIs is probably low.  You don’t have to start – or resume – sex early. Think about it please.  Dr. John

From Jade, 17 Me and my boyfriend had sex but right before we did I shaved my vagina and I had a few small cuts very minor ..but it was bleeding so right after I shaved I put band-Aids on it stop the bleeding  and a few minutes later he came to my house we waitied a good 30 min then we had sex and he gave me oral sex could that possibly be a connection to aids because I know I am negative but just sucking someones blood who is  negative and if he did suck my blood will he still be okay.

Dear Jade, thank you for your questions. Shaving the pubic hairs should not be a serious problem but if there is bleeding shortly before you have unprotected vaginal sex, it could raise issues.  First, figure out a way to not have bleeding when shaving (it could be a worn or used razor).  For thousands of years, women never shaved their hair; many still don’t.  It is as much a cosmetic choice as anything and some males say they prefer no hair during cunnilingus. But why take risks? Wherever there is exposed blood, there can be blood transmission of HIV. Waiting 30 minutes and using band-aids are good. Yet those are only a temporary solutions because vaginal sex can be very rough and irritate recent cuts to bleed again. Ingesting fluids including some blood should not be a major risk factor in getting HIV. You can buy home HIV test kits in drugstores now. Take care, Dr. John

From Ash, 17 i do 1st time sex without using condom,with my 1st girlfrnd now i want to do sex with another girls without wearing condom… so my question is that it is suitable for me or its cause the chance of HIV/Aids or any other STDs. Is second time sex is happend with another girls without using condom ..?????? plz give me a solution..!!;-(

Dear Ash, at 17 you are becoming a man in more ways than one.  If you are starting sexual activity, why not begin by using condoms now? Why would you brag that you are having unprotected sex and want to keep having it with other girls — but then say you are concerned about HIV or a STI? This thinking does not make sense. You might be lucky now but you are putting yourself and your health at real risk down the road. How are you going to feel if you find yourself urinating and it is extremely painful because you caught a STI? Yes, there is some medications to take care of many sexual infections – but there is no vaccine to prevent HIV or cure AIDS. You might have it and don’t know because it hides in the body for years. How will you feel if you give HIV to the mother of YOUR baby? Why spoil a good thing by acting foolishly?  It’s your decision, no one else’s, so I can’t give you guarantees about anything when you are choosing unwisely to not use condoms every time you are having sex. C’mon, wise up and have a good life… Dr. John

From Sphiwe, 15 My boy friend held his penis after sex…he fingered me and got his dick  On my clit can I get pregnant.  While doing it he wanted to go in deep but it hurt,he went in a fewer times bt I pyshed him away  please help.

Dear Sphiwe, as I understood it, your boyfriend did penetrate your vagina. It was not just a question of handling his penis and rubbing it against your clitoris.  So yes, you can get pregnant. Since most males leak pre-cum (pre-ejaculate), it is not a 100% certainty that pregnancy will occur but it does put you at risk. If unwanted pregnancy is your main concern, you should either abstain or you should get on birth control. Using a condom is also a good idea because it helps protect you against HIV and STIs too.  Take care in the future, Dr. John

From Irfan, 20 Dr.John i m irfan!i m 20 yrs old !i want to know that if we throw our sperm from panies by doing hand job what was the side effect!any damage hapens !and one more thing is now a days youngster taking protien suppliment for bulding body.this types of supplement effects our sexual life!Thanks dr jhon! I know u reply me!tc

Dear Irfan, I hope that I understand your question completely but forgive me if I have misinterpreted your words. I don’t understand, “panies” unless you mean penis? However, a hand job or masturbation should not cause you any negative side effects. It is completely normal for all males your age to do – often a few times weekly. If it is more frequent, it could make you tired and feeling lazy.  Also a boy can rub his penis until it hurts and in that case a lubricant helps. Health supplements can be beneficial in some cases for a growing body but everything must be taken in moderation. It is possible that a protein supplement can increase your semen because sperm/semen have proteins. Dr. John

From Ajay, 19 can kissing on lip lead a pregnancy

Dear Ajay, of course kissing on the lip is not a cause of pregnancy. I am curious why you asked this question? Has someone told you this about kissing? Dr. John

From Besan, 19 She miss her period after having sex what do we do

Besan, thank you for writing.  It is not uncommon for a female to miss a period or have it delayed. It sometimes happens. However, it could also be a sign of a pregnancy. You should help your girlfriend get a pregnancy test. If you are not using condoms, you should be if you want to avoid future scares like this one. Although condoms are 95% to 99% safe (there is always a chance of breakage), using one will help stop a pregnancy in most cases — and avoid HIV and STIs. She should also be on birth control if you both wish to have sex without a condom. Thank you, Dr. John

From Alex, 16 me and my girlfriend are real worried. I masterbated in the morning at about 9, me am my girlfriend had unprotected sex about 10 hours later for about 1-2 minutes then used a condom,  would it be possible for me to pre cum or for her  to be pregnant ?

Alex, thank you for your question. I think you probably know my answer because you were aware to use a condom to finish. There is a possibility that your pre cum (pre-ejaculate) could have caused pregnancy even if only for “1-2 minutes” as you wrote.  I would guess that it probably did not result in her getting preganant. In the future, don’t risk it. If you are old enough to choose to have sex then you are mature enough to use a condom every time.  Good luck, Dr. John

From Marcus, 19 I am gay and a virgin, I have another gay friend who is also a virgin, we both haven’t done anything sexual as well. We want to have sex, but do we need to use a condom since we both haven’t done anything in the past?

Dear Marcus, it’s true that two virgins cannot transmit HIV sexually if it is not there to start with.  You know if you are a virgin or not. You believe that your boyfriend is a virgin. However, why not both get tested before you start sex without condoms. Because of the new home HIV test kits being sold i drugstores nationwide, you can test each other in front of each other. The tests can be bought by anyone 17 or older without a doctor’s prescription and are available over the counter (like condoms or home pregnancy kits). These are oral swab tests (so no blood or needles are involved), only take 20 minutes for very accurate results. As one teen said to me, “It’s better to know.”  Good luck, Dr. John

From Chi, 16 Dear Dr John, I was tested for HIV about a week ago and the result was negative. However, I got horny and messed around with a friend. I sucked his penis for a short while but he didn’t release in my mouth. I had been having a sore throat since morning. Does this increase my chance of getting HIV?

Dear Chi, it is good that you got tested for HIV and the results were negative. However, a test only shows past sexual history not any transmission within the last month or two (there is some disagreement on the time span needed for accurate test results). Oral sex is not a major risk for HIV transmission – very few cases are reported.  However, it can be a transmission route for STIs (sexually transmitted infections).  And if HIV+ blood is passed from your partner to you because of an open sore, there is always a slight possibility. My suggestion: get your throat checked out. It could be a minor irritation and nothing serious to worry about. take care, Dr. John

From Sidney, 15 I had unsafe sex with my boyfriend , I’m worried because I’m having white discharge in my panties is it anything serious ?

Dear Sydney, thank you for your question – it’s one I get from some females. The discharge can be the result of a yeast infection or even a STI because you had sexual intercourse without a condom, the only medical barrier that can protect you from sexual infections. You should be checked by a doctor you trust or go to community clinic for tests.  I hope it proves to not be serious as there may be medications that can help you. My best, Dr. John

From Tumi, 22 My bf an i had unprotected and after penetrating my periods started coming out. My bf now has pain next to his penis an he thnks its because of the blood. Im very worried pls help. We didnt hv sex intentionaly knowing that my periods would come. Pls reply asap

Dear Tumi, I am not sure what to tell you because this is a question for a medical check up. I suggest you both get tested for STIs and HIV. If you have sex with a condom it would be much safer than not using one. Unlike the younger teenagers that I advise, you are 22 and should know it’s always smarter to use a condom. I think that your boyfriend’s pain could be something other than a sexually transmitted infection which is why he should go to a doctor for a checkup soon.  Thank you, Dr. John

From Vicky, 20 Can havin unprotected sex once with a girl make a boy contact hiv

Vicky, the simple answer to your question is yes. It only take one time if someone’s HIV-postive blood enters a HIV-negative person’s blood – through a cut, by needle or more likely, by unprotected sexual intercourse. Does that mean that transmission happens 100% of the time?  No, it does not but why would anyone want to take the chance on contracting HIV that could prematurely end their life – and put a future baby at risk? Getting HIV is a lot like Russian Roulette; maybe the first or second time having unprotected sex with a partner (especially a one-night stand) no transmission occurs. But the next time could be the deadly mistake.There are home HIV test kits available in all drugstores now – 20 minutes by oral swab and 99% accurate.  Dr. John

From Kwakho, 19 hi again my boyfriend does not want to use a condom he says it hurts him what do I do because I want to b safe but he keeps telling me that I won’t get HIV because we both don’t have HIV the only thing he knows is that I don’t want to be pregnant so we have sex with him pooling out when he is going to sperm but I don’t like but he does not want a condom what do I do help me doctor please

Dear Kwakho, your message sounds heartfelt and is one that many females have and write me about. You are putting yourself at great risk for both pregnancy and HIV/STIs. You should be on some form of birth control if you are having unprotected sexual intercourse.  Your boyfriend is being selfish – thinking about his own pleasure before your health. If he never wants to use a condom with you, then it means he is not using one if and when he cheats. It could even be a one-night stand for him that exposes him to HIV — and that bad decision could be a danger for you. There are many sizes of condoms available to fit any male comfortably. His protest is more about being lazy and is just plain inconsiderate to you. You are putting yourself at risk for HIV.  How do you know that he doesn’t have a STI or HIV? Only a test can confirm that – not empty words. It’s your decision whether to believe him or not. I wouldn’t because he has shown himself to be an ass. Sorry to be so blunt but this is YOUR health.  Dr. John

From Tumi, 22 My bf an i had unprotected and after penetrating my periods started coming out. My bf now has pain next to his penis an he thnks its because of the blood. Im very worried pls help. We didnt hv sex intentionaly knowing that my periods would come. Pls reply asap

Dear Tumi, I am not sure what to tell you because this is a question for a medical check up. I suggest you both get tested for STIs and HIV. If you have sex with a condom it would be much safer than not using one.  Unlike the younger teenagers that I advise, you are 22 and should know it’s always smarter to use a condom.  I think that your boyfriend’s pain could be something other than a sexually transmitted infection which is why he should go to a doctor for a checkup soon.  Thank you, Dr. John

From Zeliko, 20 Me and my girlfriend are virgins. She’s on the pill now for a month and we want to have sex (vaginal and anal) without a condom. Can we get STD’s? We didn’t have any other partners.

Dear  Zeliko, because your girlfriend is on the pill, that means she shouldn’t get pregnant — but birth control does not prevent HIV/AIDS or STIs.  If you both are truly virgins, then neither of you should contract STDs sexually. However, can you both be certain you are virgins?  Also if either partner has ever shared a needle for tattoos, body piercings or drugs, there is the possibility of HIV transmission. Now that I have said all that, unprotected anal sex is far more dangerous than unprotected vaginal sex for STIs including HIV. Why take the chance when condoms are easily available and cheap (think about how you spend your money). It is your decision. Why start off sex on the wrong foot?  Dr. John

From Freaked-out, 15 Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time(for both of us ) and we used protection and I didn’t cum (sorry if I used the wrong word) but yes and it was a couple days before her period but since then its been 2 weeks and she still hasn’t got her period I’m just really freaked please help

Dear Freaked-out: first, don’t freak out now until you get your girlfriend to take a home pregnancy test. They are available in drugstores — also, there are usually free pregnancy testing centers in local clinics and hospitals.  This must be done soon. You might want her to take a second confirmatory test. It was excellent that you used a condom. This should protect you both from unwanted pregnancy and STIs including HIV. But nothing is ever 100% “safe” because sometimes, not often, condoms can break  She should be getting advice on other birth control methods now since she is sexually active. And “cum” is an acceptable word. No apologies necessary. Be sure you continue to be responsible — and I hope, do well in school and on the playing field.  Thank you for writing. Dr. John

From Anonymous (Male) Dear Dr. John, I just found out that I have STI yesterday and I had unsafe sex with another girl on Saturday, then on Tuesday I had sex with my girlfriend and we don’t us  condom because of the trust we have for each other. Now what I would like to know is that: is there any possibility for my girlfriend to infected by this STI because when I had sex with her the STI never appeared, it only appeared the following day. Please Dr. John help me before I come clean to my Girlfriend.

Yes, your girlfriend is at risk. You do need to talk with her and explain why you had unprotected sex with another girl. It is the honorable thing to do. That is why we say “unsafe sex” when no condom is used. You didn’t say what kind of STI you have. Some are more dangerous than others but all can mean exposure to AIDS. You should also get tested for HIV in a month or so but then you will need follow up HIV tests at 3 months and 6 months to be sure. I enjoyed my work in South Africa, you have a wonderful country. However, South Africa has high HIV/AIDS rates so please warn your friends and urge them yo use condoms every time – it’s the world we live in.  Otherwise you are playing Russian Roulette. Dr. John

From David Help me Dr. John I’m so scared me and my girlfriend didn’t completely have sex I only stuck it in a few times and I know for a fact I didn’t cum in her but were both really scared and don’t know what to do we can’t sleep please we both in really deep mess is she get pregnant please answer as soon as possible I’m so scared what is the best bet to make sure she’s not ? Please help I’m scared I’m only 15 and she’s 14 please I’m really scared and she is to.what can we do please help me I’m so scared Please please? Please answer me fast     !!!! Thank you for u time David Sent from my iPhone

David, I got three messages from you in the last three hours. I wasn’t able to read then until now. Please don’t panic because it will not help you think straight and you must for your girlfriend’s sake. You are the older one here and she is counting on you. You know the risk of pregnancy from unprotected sex but even being smart does not help in every situation when partners are turned on and not thinking logically. However, I do not think she is pregnant as you have described the situation although pre cum might have some semen in it that might have leaked out of your penis when you stuck it in. Starting in June of 2013, a morning after Plan B pill to stop pregnancy is available that 15 year olds can buy from a drugstore without a prescription or parents’ knowledge. However, the law is written for a 15 year old female or older (not males, stupid, huh?). But since she is 14 buying it will be a problem. I don’t want to tell you to break the law. Maybe she has an older sister that could help. However, you or an older female friend can buy a home pregnancy kit over the counter without a doctor’s prescription. It’s taken in the bathroom and requires her urine. Be sure you read the directions carefully. If the test is negative and she is not pregnant, give her a big hug to reassure that you love and respect her — and walk home. A cooling off period would be good for the two of you. David, please do yourself and your girlfriend a favor — don’t have sex unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences. There’s no harm in postponing sex until you are older and ready to take full responsibility for your actions. If you or your friends still want to have sex, I can’t stop you but I can tell you to wear a condom every time, put it on correctly and be sure you take it off away from the vagina so no semen leaks back in. Good luck to the two of you in school and in all your future endeavors. You deserve to start a family when you are ready, not now. Dr. John

From LD Hello~! Dr.John, I have a question about that if I need to get the hiv test for receiving oral sex from a sex worker? I am very Anxious right now, can not focus on my life, I have been asked this question to many different organizations, and I know it is a very low risk activity, some organizations told me it is Theoretically possible, but in reality, it can not happen, they also told me the spot test for my situation is unnecessary, what do you think Dr.? thanks!

LD, thank you for writing me. I hope this answer helps. There is some mixed opinion on oral sex. That is why different organizations/advisors give different answers.The data suggests the risk for HIV from oral sex is low — when compared to intercourse without a condom. Oral sex is riskier than deep kissing (mouth to mouth). Some people who give advice online have a vested interest in promoting an agenda or generate income. I know of one hotline that says oral sex poses no risk at all. That is not true. But when I talk with youth I say nothing is life can be 100% guaranteed safe. There are exceptions to every rule. By the way, I do not receive any money from my work. Like all my staff, I am a volunteer. Good luck, LD!  Dr. John

From Krestina, 15 Hello dr.john Im really scared. I gave oral to my girlfriend two days ago and two days later i got sick i got a fever and chills and my body felt like kind of weak but my sickness only lasted for bout 24 hours and i felt back to normal could i have HIV? And plus i don’t know if my girlfriend has HIV or not she had sex before me once with a guy but he pulled out before anything came out it was only like for a minute but i’m scared and also it had been raining really bad this whole week so maybe its also the weather please help i’m only 15.

Dear Krestina,I do not think that you have to worry too much. Oral sex is not as much of a HIV threat as is unprotected sexual intercourse without a condom. However, if you are concerned, you should go to a doctor or a health clinic and be tested. Perhaps you picked up a sexually transmitted infection (STI) other than HIV. Or you might have picked up a virus like a bad cold or flu, that is the cause of your symptoms. It is always safer to use some kind of condom or barrier whenever possible. One thing to remember and please tell your peers: any unprotected sex, even if only for a minute, is enough time to transmit HIV. Take care and be as safe as you can. Dr. John

From Krestina, 15 Should I be worried if I have STI? What STI could I have been infected with? And Idk how to get checked because im only 15 and my parents dont know.. this was also the second time i gave oral to my gf and last time after everything went down nothing happened and my gf had sex with that person probably 4 years ago and me and my gf have been together for 5 months

Krestina, the only thing you can do is go to a clinic and ask to be tested for STIs. There are relatively quick treatments for many STIs. Unfortunately I cannot diagnose a problem online from the information you gave me. You are 15 and if your girlfriend is about your age and had sex 4 years ago with a guy, then she was abused, and everywhere that age is illegal. If she is older than you as I suspect, then how do you know she hasn’t had more sexual partners before being with you the last five months? The more partners one has, the greater the risk for STIs including HIV. Perhaps something has been lost in translation but you sound like a decent person. Please take care. Dr. John How high are the chances? To my readers, I get all kinds of questions from all ages of youth around the world. Sometimes it is difficult to read their best attempts at English because I am not fluent in 98% of global foreign languages (and online translations can miss important subtleties). So I must use my judgement. But what can I do with this email question from “My Precious”? “How high are the chances?” That’s it, nothing more. Obviously it is a question about HIV/AIDS. Did she want to know that 25% of new HIV cases are among youth 12 to 23? Or that someone living in NYC or Norfolk, Virginia have greater chances to contract a STI like HIV than someone living in Nepal? Or if oral sex is risky? When I wrote her back that I needed more specifics to give her an intelligent answer, I received this reply: “Thank you!! 🙂 ” Huh? Well, I must be an mind reader I guess. NOTE: please be specific if you want a serious reply… I value your time and concerns. Dr. John

From Tanya, 18 I am 18 years old.3 years back I had deep kissed a guy and I am not sure if he had cuts n sores n there was exchange of blood.I am scared I must have contracted HIV.2 years back I deep kissed another guy.Now m really very worried about that.Last year I had performed oral sex on 3 guys and I ad now scared I might hav been infected.1 week back I got an HIV test done and results were negative.I hav a cold.I am really scared. – Tanya

Dear Tanya, I am frequently asked this question because deep kissing is commonplace with most all young couples. I understand your concerns but I can tell you that any French kissing from two or three years ago or oral sex from last year did NOT give you HIV as your recent test showed. If you doubt the test results, you should take another one to allay your fears. There is no harm in taking a confirmatory test (except for the expense involved if you have to pay). The U.S. CDC has been urging every citizen 13 years and older to get a HIV test annually but the vast majority do not. One problem is that youths are often scared when they have sex and then afterwards start to physically feel bad. You might have a simple cold or you are suffering from anxious feelings making you feel down. If you choose to be sexually active, then oral sex is less risky than unprotected sexual intercourse. Not many sexually active guys are going to turn down oral sex. But you can if you want (I am assuming that you are not being forced to give oral sex from your note). Whatever you do, take care Tanya. Worry can cause you to get sick. I truly send you my best thoughts that you enjoy being 18. Thank you, Dr. John

From Shikha respected sir, i am really scared regarding hiv/AIDS, and i think you can help me out. sir i had oral sex with my boyfriend when i had open sores( ulcers) in my mouth and that he even ejaculated. we both don’t have hiv. but after this stint after few months i had flu like symptoms and i got myself tested for a typhoid test which came +ve, as i didn’t had the courage to tell the doc what weird stint i had.. from then on i am scared about hiv. and i am scared of getting the test done. as i am from india and this hiv/AIDS thing is seen from very negative response. kindly help me. i just don’t know what to do. can’t share this with my parents. and i never ever loved oral sex but just for my boyfriend’s sake i had to give him every time we met. kindly reply me back on this email i would be obliged for this.

Dear Shikha, first my apologies for not responding to your questions earlier. I have been to India on my Global AIDS Walks so I understand the strong societal stigmas there. Normally I would say that oral sex (fellatio) can transmit HIV but the risk is much less than unprotected sexual intercourse. However, with mouth ulcers, the risk grows higher because ulcers can expose your blood to semen that has HIV. You wrote: “we both don’t have hiv.” Were you both tested at the same time – did you share the results? It is all too common for people to say that they do not have HIV when their goal is immediate sexual gratification as you suggest that was very important to him, but not yourself, every time you both connected. Flu like symptoms could just be a cold or it could also be the precursor of developing HIV/AIDS. You are talking about your life here. I think you should go to a private HIV/STI clinic for a test soon. Or have a traveling friend or relative buy you a HIV home test kit that uses oral swabs — they might have to “hide” it in their luggage. I don’t know current Indian law. I am concerned about you Shikha. Please do not put yourself or your partner at risk for any STI including HIV if you have open sores in your mouth. A few minutes of pleasure for your boyfriend could lead to a lifetime of compromised health for you. You deserve the best. Dr. John

From Sam hi, i was looking through your question on your website & i needed to ask a question, if you could reply a.s.a.p, that would be great 🙂 when me & my girlfriend first tried sex, we didn’t use a condom, but i didn’t cum, i know that much anyway, she hasn’t shown signs of being pregnant, because she’s on the injection, we just tried it, i wasn’t a virgin, but she was, but im not concerned about that, here’s my main question for you… i think i might have an STI, I’ve just been cleared e.t.c but i would like to know, although i didn’t cum, could my girlfriend of caught what i had, before i got cleared, or do you have to cum to transmit STI, it is through fluids, or is it through touching skin, when inside someone ? cheers 🙂

Dear Sam, I see you found me using the direct email – either the website or email gets to me. I understand that your girlfriend is on birth control which doesn’t prevent HIV as you know. The fact that she shows no signs of being pregnant is not the issue you ask about. Obviously you know that semen makes the girl pregnant and it is one of the bodily fluids necessary for HIV to survive. One thing to remember is that many males (but not all) often leak pre cum before ejaculation and it is very possible for pre cum to have traces of semen in it. However, the likelihood is not very high for HIV transmission. You do not have to cum to transmit an STI (formerly known as STD). You might have passed the STI (you didn’t say which one) onto your girlfriend and the honorable thing is to let her know asap so she can be checked. Are you concerned that she finds out you weren’t a virgin when she was — or that you had the STI? Unless you were in a committed relationship based on faithfulness, the only real concern should be for her health now. You sound like a good guy, so be upfront with her and take her to the clinic for testing. Then take her out for a nice lunch on you. A single red rose would be nice too. Dr. John

From Anonymous Can you get AIDS from kissing?

No, there is no medical evidence that suggests there is any likelihood of contracting HIV/AIDS from kissing a partner including the deep kissing that some people refer to as “soul” or “French” kissing. That is the good news for teenagers. Saliva is a poor conduit for HIV transmission. Mononucleosis, a viral infection transmitted by deep kissing, and certain kinds of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases, a.k.a. STIs for “infections”) can be transmitted by deep kissing – but not HIV. Because HIV is a virus that lives in hot human blood and some bodily fluids like semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk, I would not recommend that two teens kiss each other if one or both are bleeding from cuts, wounds or injuries including bleeding from rough teeth brushing.

From Aanyah, 15 This is sort of an awkward question to ask, but since I feel even more awkward asking someone else, I thought this would be the best place to go. I recently had sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, and even though we used a condom (but then took it off in the middle of the act); I’m still a little eerie about being pregnant. As of today it has only been four days, so obviously I can’t tell yet if I’m ‘late.’ Also I’ve heard that for at least two weeks after you finish your period you should be pretty safe with sex. Of course nothing is 100% except abstinence, but I was basically wondering if it’s possible to know right away, without taking any tests, if he ‘pulls out’ am I more safe? Please respond as soon as possible, I’ve been paranoid since our act.

Dear Aanyah, thank you for your email. First, let me say that you must rethink your strategies and practices with sex at your age. You are correct when you say that only abstinence is 100% safe to avoid pregnancy, but no, it is never wise to have any unprotected sexual intercourse. Not only because of possible pregnancy but because of the risk of contracting HIV. You didn’t mention that in your email yet you came to my advice column on a site that is all about HIV/AIDS and teens. To answer your question, no, it’s not possible to “know right away, without taking any tests, if he ‘pulls out’.” In good conscience, I could not tell you that you are being “more safe” if your partner pulls out. Once it’s in, the risk is there for both pregnancy and HIV. Please pass this information on to your friends. Good luck in school.

From Anonymous (Female), 16 Hi..I’m 16 yrs old and am still a virgin. My boyfriend and I were fooling around but he never went into me, we were both just naked down there and touched once in a while. I’m just wondering if guys can feel pre-ejaculation fluid come out?…and since I’m still a virgin can I still get pregnant from the pre-ejaculation fluid? Can I get aids? Please help!

I am answering you very quickly as I understand that you are worried. While it is not likely, the answers to your questions are that yes, there is a possibility, however slight, that a female can get pregnant from pre-ejaculation fluid if it enters the vagina even if you consider yourself a virgin. Sometimes a boy is not always aware that the pre-ejaculatory fluid is leaking as it is a milder sensation that actual orgasm. I get this question a lot from girls and some boys concerned about unwanted pregnancy. It is possible too that HIV exists in pre-ejaculation fluid and it could enter a cut at the outside of the vagina even if there is no penetration. But that said, I don’t think you should worry too much. You should talk with your mother if you can or ask your doctor about being tested. If those options are not going to happen, then call a local teen center for advice on pregnancy and HIV testing if you want to be sure. You also have to be concerned about STIs (sexually transmitted infections) when you are involved with any kind of sex play with your boyfriend. If you don’t want to worry about these things occurring, either don’t get naked and rub the genitals together or have the male wear a condom as a precaution. You are still young and you need to concentrate on school and your teen years. The pressure is great to experiment with sex at your age but I suggest you postpone early sex as long as you can. Obviously, it is your decision what level of risk you choose to take. I hope you have a happy, and relatively pressure-free adolescence. Good luck in school. Dr. John

From Jacob, 21 dear dr. john -brace yourself- i received quite a few piercings within a very short matter of time including a very large gage in my ears i was pierced with a 4g the size of a pencils eraser that was back in march at the beggining of june my piercings had still not healed. they stated to get pretty infected. i recently took my nipple and eyebrow rings out. my concern is my lymph nodes are quite swollen. i’m scared because at the beggining of june i gave a girl unprotected oral sex(very short period of time 5min tops). 3 days later i had flu like symptoms but others in my job started to have the same sickness, sore throat etc. i thought nothing of it at the timeŠ with in a week i felt just fine, but i noticed that my lymph nodes were swollen, including pain from the ones up under my arms.(maybe from infected nipple rings?) now its been 2 months and the glands under my jaw are still swollen. in july i went to the hospital. they did a little bit of tests, including x rays, and they found nothing. they sent me to get hiv tested. this was 1.5 months after “possible hiv contact” with the female. the results came back negative. my ear lobes are still not healed and slightly infected. my questions are: 1.could my cold have been acute hiv syndrom contracted through oral sex i gave?(my oral hygiene is not the greatest) 2.if this is so, once you feel the symptoms of acute hiv syndom(flu-cold), can they go away and come back? 3.or could my persistent swollen glands be from my piercings …sorry if this letter seemed to be all over the place. please give me your advice p.s. very helpful website.thanx for having it!!!!

Dear Jacob, thanks for writing. I can see the worry in your email. The fact that you did an HIV test 1.5 months after the unprotected oral sex should be sufficient to allay any fears you contracted HIV/AIDS at that time. To be really sure, get tested again. Usually, oral sex (cunnilingus — man upon woman) is not enough to pass HIV unless there are open bleeding sores. However, you can easily contract STDs (STIs) from oral sex and STDs can help facilitate the transmission of HIV through sores. You understand that HIV often appears as a flu, then “goes away,” only to reappear much later when the immune system is greatly impaired. Yet a flu could mimic these same symptoms. I think you are right to be concerned about your infected body piercings especially if they were made with needles that weren’t new or “clean.” I think you should ask your doctor to check the infected openings if you think they are contributing to the problem with your lymph nodes. I hope this gives you some answers. I don’t think you have HIV but get a second test for confirmation. Good luck and thanks for writing. Dr. John

From Randall, 17 Can you get HIV by swallowing a guys semen?

Randall, thanks for your email. Some medical experts think that ingesting semen is not a major problem in most instances but this is not a guaranteed, 100 % safe practice because of STDs and other infections from ingesting a foreign substance. Swallowing semen does not appear to be a big problem for contracting HIV unless there’s an open wound/cut/ or sore inside the mouth or throat of the person swallowing. Even a microscopic cut could introduce HIV into a person’s body. The safest practice is not too ingest. Dr. John

From Anonymous, 14 I heard from this one show that you can get AIDS by materbathing with dirty hands. It sounds silly but who knows. Is that true?

Thank you for your email. No, it’s not true that a person can give himself AIDS by masturbating. You’re right — it’s silly. HIV is transmitted in human blood (and some bodily fluids containing blood such as semen) from one HIV-positive person to another. But a male cannot give HIV to himself. If you heard that, it’s not true. Since I didn’t see the show you mentioned, maybe they were talking about a HIV-positive person masturbating another person and somehow blood was exchanged from a cut. Theoretically, it’s a slight possibility but highly unlikely. Masturbation by an individual is perhaps the safest form of sexual release when only one person is involved. In your grandparents’ time, boys were told masturbation caused blindness, hairy palms and insanity. Those tales were not true then; dirty hands is not true now. Good luck in school. Dr. John

From Anon, 23 My girlfriend had a scare a few weeks ago that she may have contracted HIV from a partner she was with over a year ago as he was recently diagnosed as being HIV positive. She has not suffered any symptoms, and her GP said she had no need to worry, but she decided to take a test recently for which she was negative. How accurate is the test? Should I still be worried? Thank you. Anon from Shropshire

Dear Anon (because I don’t know your real name), I apologize for the delay in responding to your email. I have been in Africa on one of my AIDS prevention walks and have very little access to the internet on the road. I suggest that you both take another HIV test. Her physician is most likely correct but you cannot always see or have symptoms when HIV is new to the body. If you are worried, and you choose to be sexually active, then using a condom is the alternative. That said, condoms vary in quality so buy a reliable one. In the U.K., you probably see a of of ones by Durex although Trojans and other brands are imported from the U.S. You can always ask a druggist for advice. If the female is allergic to latex products, you can buy ones made of polyurethane. However, never use prophylactics made from “sheepskin” (their intestines). Do not have unprotected sexual intercourse if you want to avoid worry. Best wishes, Dr. John

From Anonymous, 19 I have had multiple sexual partners. I had always used condoms and in one incident the condom busted. Soon after I got checked and found out I had chylamydia. After clearing that up I had another incident in which I had unprotected sex. I got checked again and was clean. I have never took an HIV/AIDS test because since I have messed up I’am really scared. As long as I keep using condoms am I still at a great risk??? Please respond

Thank you for your question. I have been away doing my walks or I would have responded quicker. Because you describe your sexual experiences with a few partners, and not always using a condom, I think it is very important that you use protection every time. You already know that you are at risk for chylamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases — maybe HIV. You are too young, with your whole life ahead of you — to take a chance and get sick with HIV/AIDS. Sometimes human nature pushes us to take risks out of a sense of guilt when we think we’ve messed up. So to answer your question, always use a condom properly to avoid any more breaks and to be as safe as is possible (you now know from experience that condoms are not 100% guaranteed). That means, knowing how to put it on and to use lubricants that are latex-compatible and water-based. Please take heed of these warnings and protect yourself and your partner’s body. Dr. John

From Ashlee, 15 Around 4 months ago I performed oral sex on a guy. While I was doing it I felt a bump on his penis, I didnt see it but I felt it in my mouth.Since then I started to get cuts or sores in my mouth that hurt. Also on the inside of my lips I have gotten little sores too. Recently I got bumps on the back of my tounge and sometimes they hurt. Do you think I have an STD? Please help.

Ashlee, thank you for your question. Yes, it is possible that you have a STD of some kind. The good news is that there are medicines to help but you must visit a doctor or a health clinic to be examined and soon. They can help you. Just ask that your records be kept confidential. Dr. John

From Depressed, 21 Thank you for providing this service-we all owe you one. I went to a strip club and got a lap dance. During the lap dance, the stripper took my penis out of my pants and began giving me a hand job. For about ten seconds, she rubbed my penis against the top of her clitoris. Am I at risk for HIV? HPV? Herpes? Thank you. Age: 21

Dear “Depressed,” thank you for your question. I do not believe that you re at risk for HIV, as blood needs to be exchanged (there’s blood in semen or vaginal fluids) into your blood. However, the contact can infect you with genital herpes or genital warts. If you are worried, visit your university clinic and explain your concern. I hope all is well and I wouldn’t worry too much. Dr. John

From Doug, 18 Do all men have pre-ejacualtion fluid because I seem not to. Even when my girlfriend and I fool around or have intercourse, there is no visible or touchable pre-cum fluid. If there isn’t any, is it safer for me then other men to have intercourse w/out a condom before i ejaculate?

Doug, every man is different. Some males have little or no pre-ejaculate — others “leak” profusely. Based on the quantity, more fluids might be exchanged and HIV could be transmitted. But you shouldn’t assume that you are “safer” because you have little pre-ejaculate. Don’t believe that you don’t need a condom because you see no pre-ejaculate. Is it difficult for you and your girlfriend to want to use condoms? (I recommend ones made of polyurethane). Please consider your actions carefully. And good luck if you are in school. Dr. John

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