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Whenever you notice a cut and bleeding, be sure to stop and wash. Think of an alternate way to find sexual release for the healing period until the cut has healed. There are home HIV test kits sold at any drugstore. They are expensive ($39) but a test might allay your fears. Usually you should wait a month or two before testing but in some cases, earlier findings can be accurate. You are doing the right thing to use condoms and to share this information with her. You are to be admired. Dr. John

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From Marissa, 23 Hi my name is Marissa and I have been thinking about for the past couple days. My boyfriend is HIV positive and I’m negative and we had unprotected sex a couple days ago. He said that i won’t get it cause he’s been taking his meds. I’ve read that it’s a lower risk that someone like me will get HIV but than I find other stuff that I’m still at risk. So my question to you is, am I at risk to get HIV?

Marissa, it was good to get your email but I was saddened to learn that you had unprotected sex with your HIV-positive boyfriend. I understand that lovers might choose to show their commitment by trusting each other and not using a condom but it is still unwise. Even though your boyfriend is “on meds” (his words to you) he knows from his doctor that HIV never leaves the body. There is no cure yet — although we all hope and pray that a medical solution is coming.

I get upset with young males that act out of selfish, sexual pleasure motives and try to convince their partners that condoms are not necessary (some females do the same).  If you continue, your risk will become greater. That is the truth. Dr. John

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From Eve, 19 Hi Dr John, I nearly has sex with someone. Im still a virgin. We only touched. I was experiencing burns. It could have been a thrush so I took Fluconazole for it as well as a cream called Clotrimazole. Shortly either I got my monthly period. I am also on contraceptives so what are the chances of being pregnant? The burns and pain have gone but I’m a bit scared. Could it be something else other than a thrush? If yes, what? Thank you in advance.

I am sorry Eve but I cannot answer questions about the appropriateness of medications by email. You will have to go to a clinic or see a doctor for these answers. I specialize in answering questions about HIV prevention and AIDS. Good luck. Dr. John

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From Jeremy, 18 My girlfriend gave me a blowjob and i poked her and i couldnt have a shower because i had to stay at someones elses house will that give me any aids or sti, as she is clean and only given oral in the past

Dear Jeremy, thank you for you briefest of questions. You didn’t say whether you used a condom. I am guessing not? So yeah, if you penetrate your girlfriend without protection then there’s a risk of HIV/AIDS. Taking a shower helps if you clean your penis after sex. Dr. John

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From Sheila, 18 If my boyfriend has sex with me with no condom and I’m on my period and I don’t have hiv can he get it from being in contact with my blood

Sheila, the chances of that happening during your period is a possibility but if you were/are virgins, then chances are less – but not impossible. Have you ever been tested for HIV? How long ago? And have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else in that time? How about him and other partners? You can buy home HIV test kits now in drugstores near where they sell the home pregnancy tests. You do not need a doctor’s prescription as long as you are 17 years old.

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From Elliot, 18 Hello sir, its a pleasure to write to you. I am 18 and I feel that I am old enough to have safe sex with my girlfriend, who is also 18. We have talked over it and after thinking, she agreed to practice safe sex with a condom, which I am happy about. Neither of us havent had any sexual contact with anyone and happy to describe ourselves as ‘Virgins’ . We decided to perform oral sex at first just to please ourselves and adjust. But as i’ve heard about STD’s which can pass through performing oral sex. I am pretty much worried about this (although we both are virgins) that STD’s might pass into our bodies. So sir my question is, is oral sex safe if both the partners are virgin? I dont want to take any risks before getting your reply sir as I am worried about her as we both love each other alot and I would not want her to be infected. I would really appreciate your reply sir. Thankfully yours, Elliot. (P.S please forgive me for my bad english)

Elliot, I think you and your girlfriend have postponed sexual relations to an age when you are both of majority and can make intelligent choices (I worry about emotionally immature 13 and 14 year olds that start early sex without the basic safety information and precautions). First I am impressed that you are thinking about your partner’s needs: “I am worried about her as we both love each other alot and I would not want her to be infected.” If you are truly virgins (again and again, I say, how does someone know for sure about a partner?) then there should be no risk of infection by STIs, and not for HIV from oral sex. As with any sex and the possibility of exchanging bodily fluids, it is better to be clean beforehand; use mouthwash before and after oral sex; and always use condoms for intercourse.” Dr, John P.S. Your English is very good – better than some American high school teens. But because you are interested, here is one correction to your sentence: “Neither of us havent had any sexual contact…” It would be better to write: “Neither of us have had sexual contact…”

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From Lisa, 16 Hey well me and my boyfriend have had oral sex and I wasn’t worried about it before he’s had sex with other girls and that didn’t really bother me! I’m not ready to have sex and I don’t have having sex for a long time! I don’t mind oral sex so anyways back to what I was talking about I wasn’t nervous till before than saw this list of things that can happen if you have oral sex! Pregnant was one of them and that’s what makes me most nervous. No we don’t use condoms which I mean isn’t probably the smartest idea but I’m new to all of this so I don’t really know what to do and I figure if your not ready to have a kid your not ready to have sex and I’m no we’re ready to have a kid so I guess  I’m just nervous about it now because of that thing I read and I don’t know what to do??

Lisa, thank you for your email question. A couple of things. I think it is smart that you do not have sexual intercourse now at your age. You are correct that you don’t need a baby at 16.  There is too much pressure in school and the media to push sex as a really great thing — but it isn’t for many teenagers. Besides pregnancy, there are many STIs out there and HIV/AIDS is the worst. Early sex can mess up a teen’s life. You cannot get pregnant from oral sex. Maybe what you read was that oral sex can lead to sexual intercourse? You said your boyfriend has had other girlfriends before you. That could be a cause for alarm because along the way, he might have picked up a virus or he is still seeing them. However, sex should not be a scary thing – it can be pleasurable and important in a committed relationship. There is no reason why you can’t postpone further sex until you are older and more sure what you want in life. Yours, Dr. John

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From Isiah, 15 My girlfriend and I didn’t really have sex but we played around. I just put my penis next to her vagina. And rubbed it against it. Didn’t put it in fully. Can I get hiv? Ive had a sore throat for 2 days come back and then leaves. Idk if It’s from cold room or hiv but I’m really scared can I .get messaged back quickly

Isaiah, A maturing teen boy like you has pre-cum that leaks out when you are excited. That can seep into your girlfriend’s vagina if if you are not fully inside. If she has a STI you could catch it and vice versa. I doubt if your sore throat is a STI but it could be a cold. You need to understand that if you are having sex or about to, you should have a condom handy so you are prepared. Why take risks if you can be relatively safe? Dr. John

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From John Becky, 19 can I get HIV if I have a cut in my mouth and my partner doesn’t?

Dear “John Becky,” the simple answer is no, you cannot get HIV from a cut in your mouth. I assume that you partner does not have HIV?  However, if your cut is bleeding, maybe postpone deep kissing and use mouthwash before French)kissing to avoid infections or cold viruses.  Dr. John

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From Shep, 21 I am a male I am leaving with HIV ,I use condom whenever I hav sex but when I am busy my sperm leak and touch her vigina,will she be affected?

Dear Shep, I am sorry to hear you are living with AIDS. It is a very big problem in your country as it is around the world. It is very important that you tell partners of your HIV status before having sexual intercourse. You might not want to but it’s your human and social obligation to warn your partner of the possible risk. It is good that you are using condoms. I know HIV-positive people who have sex and use condoms every time. NBA star Magic Johnson got AIDS 20 years ago and he uses condoms with his wife and she has not gotten HIV. However, I am worried that you say during sex that sometimes your condom leaks semen into her vagina. That is very dangerous for her. You have got to figure out a way to have sexual intercourse that does not break the condom. It is your responsibility. In some countries like the U.S., a HIV-positive person can go to jail for knowingly infecting an unsuspecting partner. Whatever you do, talk with the girl beforehand and let her make the choice. There are female condoms available to that fit inside the vagina for extra protection. Dr. John

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From Jenna, 15 Well I baby sit this kid and he is like almost 11 and we were playing twister and I felt his boner is it possible that he can cum(sperm)

Dear Jenna, a boy of 11 is old enough to produce sperm. It is a natural part of male puberty at that age. Dr. John

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From Raj, 22 Dear doc, Good morning doc! I am from Nepal . from before 40 days I have anxieties with the fear of hiv . I have kissed a hiv+ girl. I have kissed for 5 sec. no blood was present. could you recommend me for testing?? I extremely need your help. thank you.

Dear Raj, I doubt that HIV could be transmitted as you described but here are some points to consider: How do you know she was HIV-positive? I have been to your lovely country Nepal and I know that some young men go to prostitutes for sex. Is this the case? You need to know that you do not need to see blood for a very small amount of blood to pass to a partner. You need a microscope to see HIV in blood and some bodily fluids. You should get tested to be sure, especially if there is more to your story that you did not write. Good luck. Dr. John

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From Taniya, 18 l had sex with my boyfriend on Saturday when l was on my periods. Yesterday he started having pains in his penis and it hasn’t gone away. Could it have been caused by the period blood.If so what can be done to stop the pains

Taniya, I highly doubt that your boyfriend can be experiencing pains as a result of having sex during your period. More likely,it could be the result of something else – or from the physical exertion of rough sex. He should see a doctor if it persists. In any case, period or no period, you should be using condoms. Thank you for writing. Dr. John

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From Sally, 17 Hello! I was wondering if both people have are clean from STDs/STIs (as in they got tested), is it possible for them to contract an STI/STD from the clean partner? Also, if both partners are clean, and assuming that they remain faithful, does that give them the passage to have unprotected sex? (minus the risk of a baby). Thank you!

Dear Sally, first, I need to make this very clear. Teens today are taking great risks when having unprotected sexual intercourse. There are so many STIs out there including HIV/AIDS. So I will never tell you there are no risks with unprotected sex because there are. However, if two partners are truly virgins (and how doe each one know about the other?), then sex should not transmit HIV. Tests for STIs and AIDS are only accurate until more sex happens. Then STIs/HIV could be passed. You’re young and smart. Don’t take risks. Dr. John

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From Shubham, 22 hello doctor . i ask a question about hiv one day i wear my male friend pants at same time when he remove his pants then i wear some secends leater with out underwear .can i cought hiv for wearing his paint pls answer me on my email thakyou

Dear S, no, you cannot get HIV/AIDS from wearing someone else’s clothes.HIV is transmitted in the hot blood of a HIV-positive person to another directly through an opening in the skin. If there was any blood on clothes, it should be dry and that cannot transmit HIV. You might get a rash from wearing your friend’s pants without underwear bit don’t worry about AIDS. P.S. I should warn everyone that you never want to put you hands on anyone’s open, bloody cut. If a friend has an accident and is bleeding, take a cloth or a shirt and wrap it around the cut to stop the bleeding. Dr. John

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From Naveen, 17 i have doute about HIV SIR tel any suggsion

Naveen, I don’t understand exactly what you are asking me. I realize that you are 17 and I believe you might live in a culture where sex and AIDS are not discussed much in schools. First, you should have no doubt that HIV exists – it does and many young females get it from having early sex with an older or more experienced partner. If you are a virgin now, it is highly unlikely that you should have any doubts about having HIV in your body. However, if you are sexually active, and have not insisted that your male partner use a condom every time, then you should get an AIDS test to allay any doubts you may have. Yours, Dr. John

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From Reft, 22 I had protected sex with a virgin h.i.v and aids living gal now my ex.and i having confirmed with s.t.is, does it mean am h.i.v. And i french kissed my new galfrnd,she this morning saying she has rushes,does that mean i hv pass t to her? Plz help m doctor…i dnt wana be hiv..i ll hang up ma self

Reft, I apologize but I might not have understood your English perfectly and my confusion can lead to incorrect advice. As I understand, you had protected sex with a virgin. But us she living with HIV/AIDS as a result of being born with it or do to a needle transmission? Then you said that your ex and you have been confirmed for a STI (STD) but what kind of STI? There are medications to cure some STIs. Having a STI does not mean you have HIV (it’s also a STI). You need to have a specific test for AIDS. I suggest you get one. If you French kissed with your new girlfriend, that should not transmit HIV although if your mouths have open sores from a STI, you could be transmitting that to her. Please don’t talk about hanging yourself. You are 22 years old with a whole lifetime ahead of you. I suggest you get tested soon, use condoms all the time until you settle with one woman, and tell younger friends to be careful about sex and use condoms. Will you do that? Dr. John

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From Katie, 20 sir i had sex with my boyfriend many times but neither my seal was broken nor his sperm got into my vagina. Then i had sex with another guy and in that case also sperm didnt get into my vagina. I had not used condom in both cases. But my both partners have had sex with me for the very first time.they were experiencing it for the first time. and also haven’t been in contact with their sperm in my vagina. so just want to ask if i can get aids??

Dear Kati, Thank you for your question. Unfortunately, there is a possibility that you can get HIV whenever there is unprotected vaginal intercourse. You wrote that you have had two different male partners and each one inserted their penis into your vagina. Even if there was no sperm there might have been some pre-cum or seminal discharge, or a minisculeamount of blood that passed between you while having sex. HIV can be present in many bodily fluids even if sperm is not part of the sex. You are aware of condoms because you wrote specifically that you didn’t use them — so why not? Why are you taking chances with your health? Please rethink your priorities. You said the two males had sex for the first time — but how do you know? You would be surprised at all the emails I receive saying how partners lie to each other about previous sex partners. Yours, Dr. John

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From Kim, 17 I am concern about something , my boyfriend has some numbs on his penis and I don’t know what it is, he said that he popped one and blood came out and he is always itching . We been having sex and I am not sure if it is ok having sex while he has that on his penis.. May you please inform me ASAP! Thanks , Kim.

Kim, thank you for writing. Your boyfriend needs to be checked out by a doctor or at a clinic before you continue having sex. It is important because most likely there are medications that he can take to help his condition. I cannot give an accurate diagnosis by email correspondence. You didn’t say if he wears a condom or not. Some STDs like genital warts can be transmitted easily by skin contact and even then then a condom doesn’t protect the groin area. Maybe the two of you should go to the clinic together in case the nurse recommends you be seen too. Until then, I strongly recommend no intercourse. Hope it works out okay. Dr. John

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From Promise, 20 Sir i made oral sex 2 my girl last week friday nd nw 2day is monday i hav been sick .Does dat mean i hav hiv .

Dear Promise, there is no connection between HIV through oral sex three days later. You might have picked up a virus or had a reaction to her vaginal fluids but there was no hot blood to hot blood transmitted from her to you. Dr. John

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From Stevie, 18 I foolishly had unprotected sex with a female with an unkwown status and few weeks I started being worried because I developed pimples on my pupic area”loin” (not on the penis), a month and a week passed then went to a medical doctor to get tested for HIV/AIDS and my blood was taken to the lab to be tested and the doctor told me to come and collect the results the following day. I then went to collect them and they came out negative……Im still worried because I read too much into this and but im scared to go for the second test….Your advice to me will be taken into consideration Dr John…thank you

Dear Stevie, I am glad that you used the word “foolish” about having unprotected sexual intercourse with a stranger. You are old enough to know that you need to use condoms until you are truly in a committed monogamous relationship. It is possible that you have picked up genital warts that are contagious by skin contact. It is probably something that can be “fixed” by medication. Usually it’s smartest to have an AIDS test after a few months for it to be most accurate but it’s good you got one and the results were negative. I question this sentence: “information sources are always telling people to test at least three times every three months.” You do not need to get tested so frequently — especially if you use condoms regularly. Hope things work out well. Dr. John

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From Betty, 22 Hi doc I tested positive on 2011 july and I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and I told him to get tested too but he came back negative and we started using condoms. But sometimes in 2012 he would refuse using condoms and we didi it without condom an I realise that it was not a good idea I stop him and ever since we have been using condoms but still he’s negative I don’t understand cause I know I got hiv from the partner before I meet him what is happening to him could he have hiv or its hiding somewhere. Thanks

Betty, I am sorry to hear that you are living with HIV. I think it was good that you were upfront and honest with your boyfriend — every partner has the right to know. Some people do not get HIV easily – it’s a medical phenomenon. It allows some northern Europeans to avoid getting infected and I heard of a tribal clan in Kenya too. However, for most people, HIV can be transmitted during sex especially when the sexual intercourse is long and strenuous because there is more chance of internal membranes tearing and exposing blood. Even though you say your boyfriend is HIV-negative, how do you know? And did you take a confirmatory test after the first diagnosis? In any case, please insist on using condoms. There is also a female condom that is strong and be cleaned and reused. My best wishes to you. Dr. John

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From Lauren, 13 What is the right age to masturbate?? And what can you use? How do you masturbate? And what are the best things to masturbate with?? (For girls)

Lauren, I do not advise teens on how to masturbate. It is a very personal practice that most all people do in their adolescence and beyond. There is nothing to be ashamed about but it’s best if you do what comes naturally. Using foreign objects can be a problem if not hygenically clean; there are places that sell sex toys for women and vibrators (even in drugstores). As an AIDS educator, I can tell you that masturbating will not give you HIV/AIDS but early sexual intercourse can. Thank you for writing. Dr. John

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From Raphael, 19 I’m doing social services from my own interest. So today I heard that one of the guys I’m helping is actually HIV positive and because of this I’m very scared of working I mean helping him. So I wonder if you could give me some tips how to work with him in a safe way. Because most of the time I’m kinda scared afterwards. Like using the same toilet, eating from the same salat bowl or opening a door after him. I mean he only has to have a small wound and me too and I’m probably positive too right? And also when he is speaking he’s kinda spitting do i have to be scared? Thank you for your help. PS.: Sorry for my bad english I’m from Austria.

Raphael, Gruss Gott! Ich war ein Student im Katsch a.d. Mur (Steiermark) in 1966. Your English is much better than my German. How did you find this “Ask Dr. John” column? You should not have any real worries working with an HIV-positive person. I have been doing this work for 20 years. I sit with people, eat with them, hug them — and I am careful not to exchange any bodily fluids. Importantly, you should discuss your fears with him and listen to his answers. You might be very surprised to know that he has fears too from catching colds and influenza from you. I do not know of anyone who has ever contracted HIV/AIDS from using a toilet, a shower or a swimming pool. His hot HIV-positive blood must directly enter into yours – that’s why sex and needle sharing give people HIV – not casual contact. If you are very concerned, you can wear gloves like many people providing home healthcare. You can tell him you would feel more comfortable eating salad out of a separate bowl (I know Austrian custom). Regarding spit, again you don’t want it on you but it is not transmitting HIV. Be honest and upfront with him. I am sure he looks forward to the times you visit. By being positive in your outlook and acting friendly, you help to improve his health. Where are you from in Austria? I was just there last year in Wien and Steiermark. Dr. John, “Hans” Is this social work instead of military service?

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From John, 13 Hello Dr. John I have a question about cleaning my hands after masturbating? I usually masturbate when I’m alone but one time I was masturbating and when I was finish I forgot to wash my hands so then I went and touched food and I ate a little but also my niece and she had a tooth that had fallen off! I don’t have any kind of STD but can my niece get it by eating the food I touched?

John, thank you for writing. You don’t have anything to worry about from touching food after masturbating. I believe you must be talking about a small amount in any case. No STIs (STDs) are transmitted from a 13 year old virgin boy touching food to another. Dr. John

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From Daniel, 18 Good day sir. I had unprotected oral sex with my girlfriend yesterday. Yea it was our first time. I just wanted to know, what exactly can we do to prevent STD. Knowing well that we’ve done it already. Are there any tips or drugs (body system washing drugs) one could take.

Daniel, thank you for writing. I am slightly confused. In the subject for your email you wrote: “unprotected sexual intercourse.” Yet you mentioned you had “unprotected oral sex.” To clarify, penetrative sexual intercourse (the man putting his penis into the vagina) is different than sex with the mouth. It isn’t clear if you performed cunnilingus on her or if she performed fellatio on you. Usually, oral sex is not as risky as vaginal intercourse (anal intercourse is the most dangerous). You should be sure you are clean (washing or a shower beforehand) and use a strong mouthwash too. Some people recommend that you don’t brush your teeth before oral sex because the brush’s bristles could cause your gums to bleed. Hope this answers your question, Dr. John

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From Prave, 20 Can i get hiv if i do sexual intercourse with 9 year old girl? Is she pre ejaculate?

Prave, I don’t usually say this to someone who writes me – but if you try to have sex with a 9 year old girl – I hope you go to jail for a long time! You are the worst.

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From Lisa, 16 HEY SIR! im 16 and i had a bf tht is 21…we kinda were “in love” if i should say but he never forced me to do anything…we kissed alot of times and he fingered me alot too…one time he tried to put his penis in my vagina but it was hurting so i told him to stop…i was hoping for my period tht same week and the next morning it came…the second time he tried to put it in n was unsuccessful again because it was hurting n i told him to stop…he then tried to put it in my ass but that hurt even more n i again stopped him…after all this failure i decided to give him a ‘blowjob’ as it is termed….after that he rubbed his penis at my vagina and then he broke…like this white fluid came out and went on the ground…it didnt touch my private parts though…i wanna know if theres a possibility i could have contracted HIV…oh i noticed a small cut at my anus the next morning…it has been two weeks now…and i have no symtoms of HIV like soars or anything…i tested negative for HIV one week after the action…can i ahve contracted HIV?? thanks for the help!

Lisa, first let me start by saying there is no test for HIV/AIDS that can be accurate after only one week. For most, a period of one to three months is necessary. I am glad to hear your friend did not force you to do anything and when you told him to stop he did. But at 21, he has had more experiences than boys your age and if he didn’t want to use a condom with you, he didn’t use condoms with his other sex partners. The most dangerous way to have sex is anal intercourse. The skin membrane inside tears easily and that’s how HIV-positive blood can enter you. Are you sure you want to continue having sex with an older guy who doesn’t want to use condoms? HIV can be in a male’s semen and sperm. I don’t think you contracted HIV as you described the limited experience but remember, it only takes a microscopic amount of positive blood to transmit the virus into your body. Why take the chance? Make the right decisions now. Dr. John

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From Missy, 14 My best frend since 5th grade is telling me we could have alot of fun if we went to the parties of the older boys. We are both on the jr cheeleeding team & older girls coach us. They tell Ellie my bff that this one jr.guy really thinks im cute and wants me to come to his party. They have beer. Ellie wants us to go but im afraid you know. Ellie says we cant be friends if i let her down. She said we should bring condoms i dont want anything to happen cuz my mom and church would be vry mad. Worried in Denver.

Dear Missy, I hope you read my reply before you go to that party or any place where older teens are drinking alcohol. I think you should stay home or go to the movies. Have you talked with your mother? I understand that Ellie is your best friend but you shouldn’t let her force you to go. I have had many girls say that when they drink they lose self-control. And sex can happen. Some get pregnant and others get STIs. Although a girl might consent, under the law it is statutory rape (look on Google). You do not have to have sex with anyone to be popular. Being 13 is really too young to start sex. You can say no, because he’s not the right person. You can use an excuse like you don’t feel well or you are having your period. It is your body and your right to choose. You would be smart to tell this to Ellie now so she doesn’t keep trying to force you. And you should try to convince her not to go. Any BFF that wants her 13 year old girl to have sex is a screwed up friend. Sorry but that’s my strong opinion. Thank you for writing me, Dr. John

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From Robin, 23 sir, i had a sex twice or thrice with a prostitutes on sep13 i was not willing but she was eager to do without using condom and she told me to do sex without condom. about two months have passed and i have always fear that if i will affected with aids, please suggest me to clear my doubt.

Dear Robin, Your mother and father might disagree with me – but you must be stupid. I am sorry to say that but at age 23 you should know that having unprotected sexual intercourse with a prostitute is highly dangerous. What else can I say? Well, choosing to pay a sex worker is your decision and obviously I can’t stop you. But to say “she told me to do sex without a condom” is no excuse. If you pay, you decide whether you want to use a condom. And you should use a condom every time until you settle on your one partner. I think you should rush to a clinic and get tested as quickly as possible.I hope the test comes back HIV-negative but it might not.  Dr. John

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From Korey, 18 I’ve had unprotected sex, a few times.. I’m gay and I’m not necessarily worried but kinda curious. The people I have been with I’ve been in a relationship with for quite a few months.. Please contact me back.

Dear Korey, I really hate to hear teens tell me that they are having unprotected sex! But I have no interest in being the Chief of the Sex Police. And I know lecturing young people gets no where. However, I can tell you that you are being foolish, not smart. You are taking life-threatening risks.  Like Russian Roulette, you might luck out the first few times but eventually, as the teen HIV epidemic spreads widely, you might not escape the bullet. Then how will you feel? I have known too many adolescents that got HIV/AIDS because of a mistake they can’t take back. I can’t think of any that wanted to get it. Why take the risk?   You are gay. So you must know the high number of infections in the gay community, higher than in the straight crowd (although those numbers are rising fast). It makes no sense when you suggest (sorta) that being in a “relationship” for a few months somehow makes it not so problematic.  I think you should be more concerned, use condoms every time for intercourse, before you wake up one day worried as hell. Take care Korey. You sound like a smart guy. Dr. John Thank you, you’ve made me feel so much better about the situation.. I am worried but it’s so good to have people like you to turn to about things such a this. Okay, now tell a couple of friends. Your advice could save them from making a tragic error. And enjoy Friday evening but be safe if you play. Although there’s nothing wrong about staying at home and doing that homework before Thanksgiving.  Dr. John

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From Charity, 18 I have had sex once and i want to know if i am still a virgin

Dear Charity, your question is a good one. Technically, when someone female or male, has had sex even once, they are no longer a “virgin.” However, if you are 18 now, and it only happened once, you might prefer to “forget” that incident. Females are held to a different standard than are males in many cultures. A premium is placed on virginity when arranging marraige. I do not know your personal situation but I think honesty is the best policy. Thank you for writing, Dr. John

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From Hem, 18 Sir i am18 years old.. I remember that i had sex with 2 girls may be at the age of 10 or 9 and they are also… I just kept my penis in their vagina but i don’t do friction also i don’t leak my semen into their vagina  it possible to get aids plz ans me dr sir

Dear Hem, thank you for your question. It is very unlikely that a 10 year-old can contract AIDS from sexual play (as you described) it with two gils of similar age. Usually boys don’t have semen at 10 but you might have been an exception. It is not uncommon for children of 10 to experiment. Since you are 18, symptoms of HIV would be apparent by now. You could get yourself tested for AIDS if you choose. When you are sexually active, please think first and use condoms every time. And tell your friends – especially if any are taking life-threatening risks.  You know who they are.   Yours, Dr. John

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From Shantu, 18 Is she gets pregnant….After kissing her on vagina ..?????

Dear Shantu – thank you for writing. Do you think a female can get pregnant from kissing the vagina? Pregnancy requires the male sperm to fertilize the woman’s egg inside, not on the outside. If you meant to ask if someone put sperm into the vagina by mouth (cunnilingus) that is a possibility but not a widely practiced custom. Yours, Dr. John

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From PM, 18 I had unprotected sex on 2nd 09 2013,i barely know the person and he didn’t cum on me, 2 weeks ltr had soar throat since den i hv been feeling serious fatigue body pains,soar in the mouth,burning sensation on my tongue,fever,joints and muscle aches,headache, generally not feeling well,ran hiv test at 4,6,7 and 9 weeks 4days all negative,was reactive to hepatitis C,I’m so scared i hv contacted the hiv,I’m a female,my questions is what are the chances i will come out negative at 3 months which is just 5days from now!help me please.

Dear PM, thank you for your question.  Have you been to see a doctor about your symptoms? It is smart that you have done HIV tests. Have you been tested for the major STIs? Yes, you can take another now at 3 months too.  If that is negative, and you haven’t continued to have unprotected sex since, you should not worry TOO much.   Yours, Dr. John

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From DJ I got testest and my hep B shot and it came back negative. Then i got into a relationship with a girl and we had sex several times but i did use protection, there was 2 or 3 times it broke but i suddenly pulled out. Then i find out she has two men in her past that she had done stuff with.  Id like to get tested before and if i do anything with my new girlfriend but i or my parents cant afford it.  My girlfriend and i are both going to get testest sooner or later just to be on the safe side.

DJ, it is great that you are using condoms. However, I am not sure why many of yours are breaking. If you are following the directions, then don’t buy those condoms – get a better brand. If you go online there are lists of quality condoms. Be careful about using lubricants with latex condoms because some can cause deterioration. Only roll a condom over your penis when it is erect – never when it is soft because air bubbles can cause breaks from the friction during sex. There are free clinics in many cities. I don’t know where you live but call the local hospital or ask a school nurse for information. Be proactive and look for places that offer teens free testing. You might have to drive aways if you live in the country. But a few bucks for gas is cheaper than getting a cure for a STI — or god forbid, HIV/AIDS. Good luck. Dr. John

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From BC, 19 Dear John, I had sex for the first time with a girlfriend 4 months ago, before we did it she said she was clean and I knew that she wasn’t a virgin. We did vaginal nothing else, I used a condom and it didn’t break or anything. About 10 days later I happened to catch the flu, it wasn’t bad I had a fever of 102F felt nauseated had a rash and had chills that day before a got it. Anyway about 9 weeks later I got worried that I might of caught something that I was looking up symptoms of HIV online, then I went in and got tested that same day. I got tested for the 5 main STDs HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and hepatitis. The results came back negative, it’s been a month now and I’m still worried. I have anxiety issues and I’ve made my self sick a few times just thinking about it. Now then here’s my question should I go in and get tested again? I know that was a long story and your answer will be a great help. Thanks!

Dear BC, I don’t mind long stories as long as they make a point to educate other teens. You did the right thing by getting tested. STIs like Gonorrhea and Syphilis show symptoms early on (within weeks) but HIV can take months to be detected. I suggest you go back and get tested again.   The symptoms you describe could be nothing more than a flu bug – or your worry is causing you to feel down.  You can buy home HIV test kits over the counter, without a doctor’s prescription and do it at home. It takes 20 minutes and uses your saliva, not blood. It is about 99% accurate. The biggest drawback is that they are relatively expensive at $39 plus tax — since only one company currently has the FDA approval to market them. With competition in the future, prices will fall to $15. But you did wear a condom! Now spread that news to your circle of friends – before someone you know might make a tragic mistake. Dr. John

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From Kate, 17 What are the symptoms of aids ? i got raped a couple months ago, by a person that is HIV positive, im scared i have them … currently waiting on test results.

Dear Kate, first and foremost, I am saddened to hear that you were attacked.  Always go immediately to a rape clinic or hospital. If reported early enough, there are morning after pills for emergency care workers and you might have been eligible to avoid infection but you didn’t know the perp was HIV-positive at the time. Did the police bring you to a clinic or provide a rape kit? That is your right when you report this very serious, violent crime.  How long after the rape did you find out the person was HIV-positive? If it was many weeks or months that is a problem. Please tell friends that there are home HIV test kits now being sold over the counter in every drugstore. Tests are by oral swab and saliva – and does not require needles and taking blood. And you only have to wait 20 minutes for accurate results! However, no test will give immediate results after a rape because there is a window period where any results would be inconclusive. Educate your friends and I hope you heal. Dr. John

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From Jane, 19 If my partner has aids and we  engage in lesbian sex acts is there a way that she can transmit the disease to me?

Dear Jane, many teens wonder about this possibility because we only hear about gay male and heterosexual HIV/AIDS. Normally, there would be less likelihood of lesbian transmittal but that is not to say it is impossible. Anytime the blood from an HIV-positive person (male, female, gay or not) comes in contact with another person’s hot blood, infection can occur. Kissing, fondling, touching and fingering should not cause blood but nails can break the internal skin membrane. Teen years are a period of sexual experimentation and relationships and orientations can and do shift. Who knows if a practicing lesbian today hasn’t had straight sex and just doesn’t admit to it – the same as a straight male trying gay sex for the experience? And even if a sexual partner takes a lie detector test (?) there is little way to know with 100% certainty that anyone is in a committed, monogamous lesbian relationship. Yours, Dr. John

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From Anonymous, 14 Hi, I am 14 years old and I am little hesitant on this. I would appreciate a reply from you guys first guaranteeing that this will work etc. Thank you Kindly

If you choose, we will address our answer to the Column as”Dear Anonymous.” Is that okay? Remember, if you have a question or a problem, other teens might have the same issues. Thank you.

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From Samantha, 17 So me and my boyfriend was having sex and we notice he was bleeding I was wondering if I could get aids ? & no we only have sex with each other.

Samantha, occasionally, I am asked this question. If you both were and remain truly virgins (and who knows because some people tell lies?), you should not be at risk for the sexual transmission of HIV. But have you ever shared needles with someone else including body piercings?  The virus is transmitted through hot human blood from one HIV-positive person into the partner’s body. Why take any chances if your boyfriend is bleeding after sex? You should be using condoms.  Or both of you could buy the new home HIV test kits (using saliva swab) and test yourselves in front of each other. It takes 20 minutes. Dr. John

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From Jessica, 18 hi dr. john can someone get hiv if the guy is infacted but not the girl if there was no semen in the girls vajina

Jessica, thank you for writing because other teens have this question too. While HIV is found in semen, it is primarily transmitted through fluids and blood from sexual intercourse, either vaginal or anal.  Because sex is usually rough, skin membrane inside the vagina can tear and blood can be exposed to a partner’s blood (remember, you might not see any blood).  So the simple answer is yes. That’s why condoms should be considered a medical barrier to STI and HIV transmission.  Dr. John

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From Rahul, 22 hello sir, sir i had sex with my two girl friends in the year 2009 . Actually i like to mention that am the responsible for their loss of virginity at my first sex with them.due to their hymen break i hav noticed some blood at their vagina. then after i didn’t noticed .  i didn’t use condom for both of them , is there chance of getting hiv for me? plz reply me sir!

Rahul, are you only concerned for yourself? That is the impression I get from your email. Why didn’t you use a condom with both girlfriends since you were the one to take their virginity? I doubt these two were your only females for sexual intercourse because it seems like you are bragging.  Grow up, get tested for HIV, use condoms every time until you can be faithful to one partner  — and act like a real man.  Dr. John

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From Nicholene, 18 I have a open wound I’m my mouth ny partner is hiv positive will I get infected if I french kiss him

Dear Nicholene, if I understand your question, you want to know if an open wound in your mouth (meaning your blood is exposed) could be an entrance point for HIV from a HIV-positive partner when you engage in deep French kissing?  Well, it’s not too great of a chance because saliva in both your mouths acts like a barrier to direct transmission. But yes, there is always a possibility especially if he is bleeding but he doesn’t notice it. Why not wait until your open wound heals?  Other STIs can be transmitted this way. Yours, Dr. John

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From Ali, 20 sir im really worried and i want to ask you that if i have sex with more than 1 girl with out condomj does it leads to aids r hiv plz reply

“Yes,” Ali, that is the answer to your question. If you choose to have sex without a condom, you are playing a dangerous game — but it is your choice. I just don’t want you or other guys to hurt any future partners and their babies. Thank you for writing.  Dr. John

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From Sunnyboy, 16 if me and my girl friend we dont use condoms and we are hiv negative and we always sleep together we can get hiv ?

Dear Sunnyboy,Thank you for your question.  Normally, if a steady couple stays faithful to each other, and both are HIV-negative, then sex without a condom might be okay — BUT here’s the rub: how does a couple know that they are each/both HIV-negative? Only a HIV test taken at regular intervals can give one assurance and even then tests can be “false positive.” It is not enough for two partners to tell each other that they are both virgins — or haven’t had sex with someone else. I have found that people also “forget” about having sex if they get drunk or really high. In these cases, sexual intercourse without a condom is very dangerous. My point is that until you have tested each other, why are you taking any chances without a condom? I am sure that you and your girlfriend are faithful to each other as you say. But please consider getting tested. You can visit a free clinic or you can have an older friend buy you a “home HIV test kit” at any drugstore (currently the age is 17 or older to buy). I wish you a good life. Dr. John

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From JS, 13 Listen I know I’ve made a mistake. I was lonely and not thinking. I went on a website and invited a person over and he came. We talked for 2 minutes then I got atop him and we made out. Then we stopped so his friend could come too. His friend wasn’t my type so I tried to veer away from him. I got back around the guy and began kissing. We were playing and then I started to suck his dick. Maybe for 3 minutes max. He then wanted to eat me out so I let him. He then wanted to fuck me no condom. I said yes. He wasn’t even hard. It was like 4 minutes.  He didn’t cum nor was he close. This is extremely urgent to me now that I realize I could have an STI. Before he came over and after he left I asked him if he was clean. He said he was. I just feel scared. Could I have anything..? Please help me I’m so scared

Dear JS, thank you for your email. I feel bad that you left me an email address that I can’t respond to so we will simply post it. I don’t mean to sound harsh but I can tell from your email that you understand that this kind of unprotected sex with a stranger you found online is potentially dangerous to your health.  If you invite a person you don’t know over for sex (and a friend comes announced), you are taking very large risks for a teen your age. A guy that says he doesn’t want to use a condom with you — is someone who doesn’t use condoms with his other partners. Those people are lat great risk for HIV/AIDS.   You can’t look at someone and “see” if the are HIV-positive. But they could be carrying it inside them. They might know or might not know their status but chances are that they wouldn’t tell you the truth. I have met personally with young people that have told me this.  After all, how many people want to have sex without a condom when the person announces they are HIV? Please re-think your attitudes about unprotected sex. If not for yourself now – for your baby in the future.  Dr. John

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From DJ, 16 i have been tested for stds and it all came back negative and i did have my hep B shot and then i did stuff with my ex and im freaked out from if i have anything or not. since i was clean before and used protection, am i safe?

DJ, you should be alright if you have taken the STI (STDs) tests and used potection. However, your comment “then i did stuff with my ex and im freaked out…” leads me to believe maybe you didn’t use condoms then? It is difficult to be more exact without knowing details. You can always test yourself for HIV by buying a home test kit at the drugstore near the home pregnancy tests. One good word of encouragement – you did the tests and got a Hepatitis B shot. You’re smart – mow tell your friends.  Getting tested for STIs and HIV is needed after unprotected sexual intercourse.  Dr. John

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From Bethany, 14 Hey, I’ve had sex when I was 14 and didn’t tell anyone for a long time, and I don’t plan on telling anyone. Until I am ready to tell my parents I have had sex, but I have had sex with 3 guys and they didn’t use a condom. I had a white discharge BEFORE I have made intercourse with them but now it’s like worse, comes back thick, with no smell, it doesn’t burn, or anything. I personally am to scared to take this up with my mom or anyone.

Bethany, it is important that you call or walk into a free clinic in your community. They will see you confidentially. If not, call a hospital and ask to talk to a nurse. You want to have this discharge checked out as soon as possible. It could worsen over time – treating it early on is the smart way. It is not smart however, to have already had sexual intercourse with three boys without using a condom. I strongly suggest you talk with your mother — or an Aunt or older sister/cousin to ask their advice.  Please take care.  Dr. John

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From Marie, 16 Hey my name is Marie , I had sex with my boyfriend he’s my first , but the very first time we had sex my first time , I got a uti . We fixed that problem or what not …. He came ober this weekend and we did it …. A lot like 8 times because we haven’t been seeing each other , the first night he spent a night and we did it all night till 3 afterwards I just felt tiered . The next day we did it that morning , at a friends and I kinda felt sick afterwards we did it like a few more times and like I started getting cramps and felt sore and sick . Is this normal ? Did he go to deep ? I don’t wanna tell my mom she’s gunna freak out ! I just wanna know if ill be ok .

Marie, thank you for writing. If you are experiencing these many problems, you need to go to a clinic (especially if you don’t want to go to your family doctor) and get yourself checked out. This is not something that can be done by email over the internet. By any measure, you have had a lot of sexual intercourse in a short time. It is not always possible to tell your boyfriend not to penetrate too deeply. In the heat of sex that takes a lot of self control that a teen boy might not possess. However, I am confused by what you said about your UTI (urinary tract infection): “We fixed that problem or what not …. ” Either it was successfully taken care of or you have not been healed which could be an explanation for your current discomfort/pain. Go get checked out again soon.  Dr. John

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From Sean, 21 I had sex but when I pulled out the condom was not on it had got stuck inside the girl should I be worried?

Sean, sometimes I have had this  question. It does happen but it’s necessary to have the used condom removed for the sake of your girlfriend’s health. If the condom doesn’t pass naturally, then advise her to go to a doctor or a clinic.  It would be good if you go with her even to just drive the car (or taxi) and open her door.  I hope it works out for her.  Thank you for writing.  Dr. John

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From Diyora, 15 SIR PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE SIR IF OUR GIRLFRIEND HAVE NO HIV AIDS AND WE ALSO HAVE NO HIV AIDS AND WE HAD SEX WILL WE GET AFECTED FROM HIV OR AIDS PLEASE PLEASE  PLEASE  PLEASE PLEASE  PLEASE REPLY ME FAST SI PLEASE I AM TEENSON AND WORRIEND SO MUCH

If you both do not have HIV (because you are both truly virgins), then there can be no sexual transmission of HIV/AIDS. It’s important to remember that birth control cannot protect partners from HIV. However, using condoms can help protect you and your girlfriend. You are starting sex early – and that is your decision but I know from your four emails in just a few minutes that you are very worried about HIV. Many teens are not. I respect that you want advice but now educate yourself and be sure to tell your friends too.  Dr. John

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From Emilio, 16 i have an STI for 12 months now can it still be treated?

Emilio, hey man! Get yourself to a doctor or a clinic asap. Do not wait around any longer. You didn’t say what kind of STI you think you have but there are medications for many infections that can be cured.To answer your question, yes, most likely it can be successfully treated if you seek help now. If you don’t have a family doctor that is discreet, go to a community health clinic immediately.  Never wait in the future. Please let me know that you have done this.  Dr. John

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From Daniella, 15 Hi!  It’s really urgent you get back to me on this please!!!! You see, Tuesday I sorta had anal sex with a guy and he wasn’t wearing a condom.  But he only penetrated me twice and that’s when I called it quits. Now I need to know, could I have gotten HIV from this!?!!! please help!!!!!!!!! Like I’m so nervous! AndThursday I had like a small fever and vomited twice, until my sister can and have me medicine. I’m feeling better now, but I still really need you I answer my question!!! Please help me!!!!

Daniella, thank you for writing. As you have described the sexual intercourse, your boyfriend and you engaged in very short anal sex: “he only penetrated me twice”. That is probably not sufficient time for HIV to be transmitted. However, a possibility always exists. Please remember that anal intercourse is the most dangerous form of sex as far as HIV transmission is concerned. The skin membrane inside the anal cavity is easily torn from the friction of penetration, exposing your blood to someone else’s hot human blood that could contain HIV. If you choose to do this in the future, I strongly suggest that you always insist your boyfriend use a condom. If you are worried, get tested at a local clinic or buy a home HIV test lit and test yourself (it’s very easy, uses your saliva and results are ready in 20 minutes). Regarding your fever, it could be that it has nothing to do with the anal sex — or a result of your anxiety. Take care in the future, Dr. John

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From Layz, 16 I bite my mouth quite a lot cuz I have anxiety attacks and it helps me, I made my mouth bleed but I would not snog my boyfriend until it stopped bleeding and then I snogged him can him or me get HIV/aids from this even though I waited till it stopped bleeding

Dear Layz, thank you for your question about snogging (for Americans, that’s like heavy French kissing). The chances of you contracting HIV through deep kissing is small but wherever hot human blood comes into contact with another person’s blood, there is a possibility. Open sores that bleed can bring STIs into your body. Only you know if your bleeding had stopped. If you are concerned, get tested and I suggest you seek counseling why your anxiety causes you to bite so hard you bleed. It can cause future problems.  Dr. John

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From Dylan, 13 At one time my friend and I were expirimenting and pressed our penises against each others anuses. There was no insertion and he rarely has pre ejaculate I also doubt he has HIV can I get it? What are my chances?

Dylan, experimentation at your age would not likely result in HIV as long as you and your friend are both virgins (not having had penetrative sex before) and neither of you you have ever shared needles (and thus blood).  For your age of 13, you write in a very mature way. Keep up your studies and postpone sexual intercourse until you are older and more mature emotionally. This is good advice but you will choose to do whatever you want – no matter what I say. Historically, gay guys have had more HIV than heterosexuals so you have more reason to be cautious. Anal sex is highly risky, much more “dangerous” than oral sex.  Dr. John

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From Seth, 16 last night my guy friend rubbef his penis on the outside of my vagina could I have gotten hiv?

Dear S, there is always a slight risk of any STI including HIV being transmitted from frottage or non-penetrative sex between the sexual organs. While it is not a major factor in HIV transmission, depending on the force of the humping, leaking from the penis can allow contact to be made.  When this occurs again, why not take the precaution of having your boyfriend put on a condom or use use a dental dam that is large enough to protect yourself?  “Better safe than sorry…”  Again, the risk is small.  Dr. John

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From M, 17 So, I had unprotected sex with a man 2 months and some weeks ago. He says that he’s negative. But still, I must worry. I haven’t had any symptoms (I do know symptoms can take years to show up) during the intercourse, he pulled out of me and came on the floor. I also know that he sprayed his penis with this numbing spray (to last longer) before he pushed into my vagina and I know that with the light, the air, and the spray, his precum would die even before he entered into me. I had my period as normal. So I know his pull out method worked. I didn’t get pregnant. What is the risk? Thank you for your time.

Dear M, it is clear to me that you know a lot about the facts of sexual intercourse and HIV. It seems you are writing me to get reassurance that your unprotected sexual activity is going to be “okay.”

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From Tess, 13 Can I get any sti’s if I was lying naked with my boyfriend?? We didn’t have sex we were just rubbing against each other. I know you can get crabs but can I get anything else?? Thank you

Dear Tess, thank you for your question.  The simple answer is yes, you can get genital warts and herpes through skin contact. However, that is only if it was skin against skin. If there was any fluid leakage from your partner on top or inside you (boys often have pre-ejaculation fluids) then STIs could be transmitted  Your message didn’t explain in too much detail, so the risk of STIs is probably low.  You don’t have to start – or resume – sex early. Think about it please.  Dr. John

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From Jade, 17 Me and my boyfriend had sex but right before we did I shaved my vagina and I had a few small cuts very minor ..but it was bleeding so right after I shaved I put band-Aids on it stop the bleeding  and a few minutes later he came to my house we waitied a good 30 min then we had sex and he gave me oral sex could that possibly be a connection to aids because I know I am negative but just sucking someones blood who is  negative and if he did suck my blood will he still be okay.

Dear Jade, thank you for your questions. Shaving the pubic hairs should not be a serious problem but if there is bleeding shortly before you have unprotected vaginal sex, it could raise issues.  First, figure out a way to not have bleeding when shaving (it could be a worn or used razor).  For thousands of years, women never shaved their hair; many still don’t.  It is as much a cosmetic choice as anything and some males say they prefer no hair during cunnilingus. But why take risks? Wherever there is exposed blood, there can be blood transmission of HIV. Waiting 30 minutes and using band-aids are good. Yet those are only a temporary solutions because vaginal sex can be very rough and irritate recent cuts to bleed again. Ingesting fluids including some blood should not be a major risk factor in getting HIV. You can buy home HIV test kits in drugstores now. Take care, Dr. John

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From Ash, 17 i do 1st time sex without using condom,with my 1st girlfrnd now i want to do sex with another girls without wearing condom… so my question is that it is suitable for me or its cause the chance of HIV/Aids or any other STDs. Is second time sex is happend with another girls without using condom ..?????? plz give me a solution..!!;-(

Dear Ash, at 17 you are becoming a man in more ways than one.  If you are starting sexual activity, why not begin by using condoms now? Why would you brag that you are having unprotected sex and want to keep having it with other girls — but then say you are concerned about HIV or a STI? This thinking does not make sense. You might be lucky now but you are putting yourself and your health at real risk down the road. How are you going to feel if you find yourself urinating and it is extremely painful because you caught a STI? Yes, there is some medications to take care of many sexual infections – but there is no vaccine to prevent HIV or cure AIDS. You might have it and don’t know because it hides in the body for years. How will you feel if you give HIV to the mother of YOUR baby? Why spoil a good thing by acting foolishly?  It’s your decision, no one else’s, so I can’t give you guarantees about anything when you are choosing unwisely to not use condoms every time you are having sex. C’mon, wise up and have a good life… Dr. John

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From Sphiwe, 15 My boy friend held his penis after sex…he fingered me and got his dick  On my clit can I get pregnant.  While doing it he wanted to go in deep but it hurt,he went in a fewer times bt I pyshed him away  please help.

Dear Sphiwe, as I understood it, your boyfriend did penetrate your vagina. It was not just a question of handling his penis and rubbing it against your clitoris.  So yes, you can get pregnant. Since most males leak pre-cum (pre-ejaculate), it is not a 100% certainty that pregnancy will occur but it does put you at risk. If unwanted pregnancy is your main concern, you should either abstain or you should get on birth control. Using a condom is also a good idea because it helps protect you against HIV and STIs too.  Take care in the future, Dr. John

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From Irfan, 20 Dr.John i m irfan!i m 20 yrs old !i want to know that if we throw our sperm from panies by doing hand job what was the side effect!any damage hapens !and one more thing is now a days youngster taking protien suppliment for bulding body.this types of supplement effects our sexual life!Thanks dr jhon! I know u reply me!tc

Dear Irfan, I hope that I understand your question completely but forgive me if I have misinterpreted your words. I don’t understand, “panies” unless you mean penis? However, a hand job or masturbation should not cause you any negative side effects. It is completely normal for all males your age to do – often a few times weekly. If it is more frequent, it could make you tired and feeling lazy.  Also a boy can rub his penis until it hurts and in that case a lubricant helps. Health supplements can be beneficial in some cases for a growing body but everything must be taken in moderation. It is possible that a protein supplement can increase your semen because sperm/semen have proteins. Dr. John

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From Ajay, 19 can kissing on lip lead a pregnancy

Dear Ajay, of course kissing on the lip is not a cause of pregnancy. I am curious why you asked this question? Has someone told you this about kissing? Dr. John

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From Besan, 19 She miss her period after having sex what do we do

Besan, thank you for writing.  It is not uncommon for a female to miss a period or have it delayed. It sometimes happens. However, it could also be a sign of a pregnancy. You should help your girlfriend get a pregnancy test. If you are not using condoms, you should be if you want to avoid future scares like this one. Although condoms are 95% to 99% safe (there is always a chance of breakage), using one will help stop a pregnancy in most cases — and avoid HIV and STIs. She should also be on birth control if you both wish to have sex without a condom. Thank you, Dr. John

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From Alex, 16 me and my girlfriend are real worried. I masterbated in the morning at about 9, me am my girlfriend had unprotected sex about 10 hours later for about 1-2 minutes then used a condom,  would it be possible for me to pre cum or for her  to be pregnant ?

Alex, thank you for your question. I think you probably know my answer because you were aware to use a condom to finish. There is a possibility that your pre cum (pre-ejaculate) could have caused pregnancy even if only for “1-2 minutes” as you wrote.  I would guess that it probably did not result in her getting preganant. In the future, don’t risk it. If you are old enough to choose to have sex then you are mature enough to use a condom every time.  Good luck, Dr. John

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From Marcus, 19 I am gay and a virgin, I have another gay friend who is also a virgin, we both haven’t done anything sexual as well. We want to have sex, but do we need to use a condom since we both haven’t done anything in the past?

Dear Marcus, it’s true that two virgins cannot transmit HIV sexually if it is not there to start with.  You know if you are a virgin or not. You believe that your boyfriend is a virgin. However, why not both get tested before you start sex without condoms. Because of the new home HIV test kits being sold i drugstores nationwide, you can test each other in front of each other. The tests can be bought by anyone 17 or older without a doctor’s prescription and are available over the counter (like condoms or home pregnancy kits). These are oral swab tests (so no blood or needles are involved), only take 20 minutes for very accurate results. As one teen said to me, “It’s better to know.”  Good luck, Dr. John

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From Chi, 16 Dear Dr John, I was tested for HIV about a week ago and the result was negative. However, I got horny and messed around with a friend. I sucked his penis for a short while but he didn’t release in my mouth. I had been having a sore throat since morning. Does this increase my chance of getting HIV?

Dear Chi, it is good that you got tested for HIV and the results were negative. However, a test only shows past sexual history not any transmission within the last month or two (there is some disagreement on the time span needed for accurate test results). Oral sex is not a major risk for HIV transmission – very few cases are reported.  However, it can be a transmission route for STIs (sexually transmitted infections).  And if HIV+ blood is passed from your partner to you because of an open sore, there is always a slight possibility. My suggestion: get your throat checked out. It could be a minor irritation and nothing serious to worry about. take care, Dr. John

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From Sidney, 15 I had unsafe sex with my boyfriend , I’m worried because I’m having white discharge in my panties is it anything serious ?

Dear Sydney, thank you for your question – it’s one I get from some females. The discharge can be the result of a yeast infection or even a STI because you had sexual intercourse without a condom, the only medical barrier that can protect you from sexual infections. You should be checked by a doctor you trust or go to community clinic for tests.  I hope it proves to not be serious as there may be medications that can help you. My best, Dr. John

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From Tumi, 22 My bf an i had unprotected and after penetrating my periods started coming out. My bf now has pain next to his penis an he thnks its because of the blood. Im very worried pls help. We didnt hv sex intentionaly knowing that my periods would come. Pls reply asap

Dear Tumi, I am not sure what to tell you because this is a question for a medical check up. I suggest you both get tested for STIs and HIV. If you have sex with a condom it would be much safer than not using one. Unlike the younger teenagers that I advise, you are 22 and should know it’s always smarter to use a condom. I think that your boyfriend’s pain could be something other than a sexually transmitted infection which is why he should go to a doctor for a checkup soon.  Thank you, Dr. John

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From Vicky, 20 Can havin unprotected sex once with a girl make a boy contact hiv

Vicky, the simple answer to your question is yes. It only take one time if someone’s HIV-postive blood enters a HIV-negative person’s blood – through a cut, by needle or more likely, by unprotected sexual intercourse. Does that mean that transmission happens 100% of the time?  No, it does not but why would anyone want to take the chance on contracting HIV that could prematurely end their life – and put a future baby at risk? Getting HIV is a lot like Russian Roulette; maybe the first or second time having unprotected sex with a partner (especially a one-night stand) no transmission occurs. But the next time could be the deadly mistake.There are home HIV test kits available in all drugstores now – 20 minutes by oral swab and 99% accurate.  Dr. John

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From Kwakho, 19 hi again my boyfriend does not want to use a condom he says it hurts him what do I do because I want to b safe but he keeps telling me that I won’t get HIV because we both don’t have HIV the only thing he knows is that I don’t want to be pregnant so we have sex with him pooling out when he is going to sperm but I don’t like but he does not want a condom what do I do help me doctor please

Dear Kwakho, your message sounds heartfelt and is one that many females have and write me about. You are putting yourself at great risk for both pregnancy and HIV/STIs. You should be on some form of birth control if you are having unprotected sexual intercourse.  Your boyfriend is being selfish – thinking about his own pleasure before your health. If he never wants to use a condom with you, then it means he is not using one if and when he cheats. It could even be a one-night stand for him that exposes him to HIV — and that bad decision could be a danger for you. There are many sizes of condoms available to fit any male comfortably. His protest is more about being lazy and is just plain inconsiderate to you. You are putting yourself at risk for HIV.  How do you know that he doesn’t have a STI or HIV? Only a test can confirm that – not empty words. It’s your decision whether to believe him or not. I wouldn’t because he has shown himself to be an ass. Sorry to be so blunt but this is YOUR health.  Dr. John

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From Tumi, 22 My bf an i had unprotected and after penetrating my periods started coming out. My bf now has pain next to his penis an he thnks its because of the blood. Im very worried pls help. We didnt hv sex intentionaly knowing that my periods would come. Pls reply asap

Dear Tumi, I am not sure what to tell you because this is a question for a medical check up. I suggest you both get tested for STIs and HIV. If you have sex with a condom it would be much safer than not using one.  Unlike the younger teenagers that I advise, you are 22 and should know it’s always smarter to use a condom.  I think that your boyfriend’s pain could be something other than a sexually transmitted infection which is why he should go to a doctor for a checkup soon.  Thank you, Dr. John

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From Zeliko, 20 Me and my girlfriend are virgins. She’s on the pill now for a month and we want to have sex (vaginal and anal) without a condom. Can we get STD’s? We didn’t have any other partners.

Dear  Zeliko, because your girlfriend is on the pill, that means she shouldn’t get pregnant — but birth control does not prevent HIV/AIDS or STIs.  If you both are truly virgins, then neither of you should contract STDs sexually. However, can you both be certain you are virgins?  Also if either partner has ever shared a needle for tattoos, body piercings or drugs, there is the possibility of HIV transmission. Now that I have said all that, unprotected anal sex is far more dangerous than unprotected vaginal sex for STIs including HIV. Why take the chance when condoms are easily available and cheap (think about how you spend your money). It is your decision. Why start off sex on the wrong foot?  Dr. John

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From Freaked-out, 15 Me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time(for both of us ) and we used protection and I didn’t cum (sorry if I used the wrong word) but yes and it was a couple days before her period but since then its been 2 weeks and she still hasn’t got her period I’m just really freaked please help

Dear Freaked-out: first, don’t freak out now until you get your girlfriend to take a home pregnancy test. They are available in drugstores — also, there are usually free pregnancy testing centers in local clinics and hospitals.  This must be done soon. You might want her to take a second confirmatory test. It was excellent that you used a condom. This should protect you both from unwanted pregnancy and STIs including HIV. But nothing is ever 100% “safe” because sometimes, not often, condoms can break  She should be getting advice on other birth control methods now since she is sexually active. And “cum” is an acceptable word. No apologies necessary. Be sure you continue to be responsible — and I hope, do well in school and on the playing field.  Thank you for writing. Dr. John

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From Anonymous (Male) Dear Dr. John, I just found out that I have STI yesterday and I had unsafe sex with another girl on Saturday, then on Tuesday I had sex with my girlfriend and we don’t us  condom because of the trust we have for each other. Now what I would like to know is that: is there any possibility for my girlfriend to infected by this STI because when I had sex with her the STI never appeared, it only appeared the following day. Please Dr. John help me before I come clean to my Girlfriend.

Yes, your girlfriend is at risk. You do need to talk with her and explain why you had unprotected sex with another girl. It is the honorable thing to do. That is why we say “unsafe sex” when no condom is used. You didn’t say what kind of STI you have. Some are more dangerous than others but all can mean exposure to AIDS. You should also get tested for HIV in a month or so but then you will need follow up HIV tests at 3 months and 6 months to be sure. I enjoyed my work in South Africa, you have a wonderful country. However, South Africa has high HIV/AIDS rates so please warn your friends and urge them yo use condoms every time – it’s the world we live in.  Otherwise you are playing Russian Roulette. Dr. John

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From David Help me Dr. John I’m so scared me and my girlfriend didn’t completely have sex I only stuck it in a few times and I know for a fact I didn’t cum in her but were both really scared and don’t know what to do we can’t sleep please we both in really deep mess is she get pregnant please answer as soon as possible I’m so scared what is the best bet to make sure she’s not ? Please help I’m scared I’m only 15 and she’s 14 please I’m really scared and she is to.what can we do please help me I’m so scared Please please? Please answer me fast     !!!! Thank you for u time David Sent from my iPhone

David, I got three messages from you in the last three hours. I wasn’t able to read then until now. Please don’t panic because it will not help you think straight and you must for your girlfriend’s sake. You are the older one here and she is counting on you. You know the risk of pregnancy from unprotected sex but even being smart does not help in every situation when partners are turned on and not thinking logically. However, I do not think she is pregnant as you have described the situation although pre cum might have some semen in it that might have leaked out of your penis when you stuck it in. Starting in June of 2013, a morning after Plan B pill to stop pregnancy is available that 15 year olds can buy from a drugstore without a prescription or parents’ knowledge. However, the law is written for a 15 year old female or older (not males, stupid, huh?). But since she is 14 buying it will be a problem. I don’t want to tell you to break the law. Maybe she has an older sister that could help. However, you or an older female friend can buy a home pregnancy kit over the counter without a doctor’s prescription. It’s taken in the bathroom and requires her urine. Be sure you read the directions carefully. If the test is negative and she is not pregnant, give her a big hug to reassure that you love and respect her — and walk home. A cooling off period would be good for the two of you. David, please do yourself and your girlfriend a favor — don’t have sex unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences. There’s no harm in postponing sex until you are older and ready to take full responsibility for your actions. If you or your friends still want to have sex, I can’t stop you but I can tell you to wear a condom every time, put it on correctly and be sure you take it off away from the vagina so no semen leaks back in. Good luck to the two of you in school and in all your future endeavors. You deserve to start a family when you are ready, not now. Dr. John

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From LD Hello~! Dr.John, I have a question about that if I need to get the hiv test for receiving oral sex from a sex worker? I am very Anxious right now, can not focus on my life, I have been asked this question to many different organizations, and I know it is a very low risk activity, some organizations told me it is Theoretically possible, but in reality, it can not happen, they also told me the spot test for my situation is unnecessary, what do you think Dr.? thanks!

LD, thank you for writing me. I hope this answer helps. There is some mixed opinion on oral sex. That is why different organizations/advisors give different answers.The data suggests the risk for HIV from oral sex is low — when compared to intercourse without a condom. Oral sex is riskier than deep kissing (mouth to mouth). Some people who give advice online have a vested interest in promoting an agenda or generate income. I know of one hotline that says oral sex poses no risk at all. That is not true. But when I talk with youth I say nothing is life can be 100% guaranteed safe. There are exceptions to every rule. By the way, I do not receive any money from my work. Like all my staff, I am a volunteer. Good luck, LD!  Dr. John

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From Krestina, 15 Hello dr.john Im really scared. I gave oral to my girlfriend two days ago and two days later i got sick i got a fever and chills and my body felt like kind of weak but my sickness only lasted for bout 24 hours and i felt back to normal could i have HIV? And plus i don’t know if my girlfriend has HIV or not she had sex before me once with a guy but he pulled out before anything came out it was only like for a minute but i’m scared and also it had been raining really bad this whole week so maybe its also the weather please help i’m only 15.

Dear Krestina,I do not think that you have to worry too much. Oral sex is not as much of a HIV threat as is unprotected sexual intercourse without a condom. However, if you are concerned, you should go to a doctor or a health clinic and be tested. Perhaps you picked up a sexually transmitted infection (STI) other than HIV. Or you might have picked up a virus like a bad cold or flu, that is the cause of your symptoms. It is always safer to use some kind of condom or barrier whenever possible. One thing to remember and please tell your peers: any unprotected sex, even if only for a minute, is enough time to transmit HIV. Take care and be as safe as you can. Dr. John

From Krestina, 15 Should I be worried if I have STI? What STI could I have been infected with? And Idk how to get checked because im only 15 and my parents dont know.. this was also the second time i gave oral to my gf and last time after everything went down nothing happened and my gf had sex with that person probably 4 years ago and me and my gf have been together for 5 months

Krestina, the only thing you can do is go to a clinic and ask to be tested for STIs. There are relatively quick treatments for many STIs. Unfortunately I cannot diagnose a problem online from the information you gave me. You are 15 and if your girlfriend is about your age and had sex 4 years ago with a guy, then she was abused, and everywhere that age is illegal. If she is older than you as I suspect, then how do you know she hasn’t had more sexual partners before being with you the last five months? The more partners one has, the greater the risk for STIs including HIV. Perhaps something has been lost in translation but you sound like a decent person. Please take care. Dr. John How high are the chances? To my readers, I get all kinds of questions from all ages of youth around the world. Sometimes it is difficult to read their best attempts at English because I am not fluent in 98% of global foreign languages (and online translations can miss important subtleties). So I must use my judgement. But what can I do with this email question from “My Precious”? “How high are the chances?” That’s it, nothing more. Obviously it is a question about HIV/AIDS. Did she want to know that 25% of new HIV cases are among youth 12 to 23? Or that someone living in NYC or Norfolk, Virginia have greater chances to contract a STI like HIV than someone living in Nepal? Or if oral sex is risky? When I wrote her back that I needed more specifics to give her an intelligent answer, I received this reply: “Thank you!! 🙂 ” Huh? Well, I must be an mind reader I guess. NOTE: please be specific if you want a serious reply… I value your time and concerns. Dr. John

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From Tanya, 18 I am 18 years old.3 years back I had deep kissed a guy and I am not sure if he had cuts n sores n there was exchange of blood.I am scared I must have contracted HIV.2 years back I deep kissed another guy.Now m really very worried about that.Last year I had performed oral sex on 3 guys and I ad now scared I might hav been infected.1 week back I got an HIV test done and results were negative.I hav a cold.I am really scared. – Tanya

Dear Tanya, I am frequently asked this question because deep kissing is commonplace with most all young couples. I understand your concerns but I can tell you that any French kissing from two or three years ago or oral sex from last year did NOT give you HIV as your recent test showed. If you doubt the test results, you should take another one to allay your fears. There is no harm in taking a confirmatory test (except for the expense involved if you have to pay). The U.S. CDC has been urging every citizen 13 years and older to get a HIV test annually but the vast majority do not. One problem is that youths are often scared when they have sex and then afterwards start to physically feel bad. You might have a simple cold or you are suffering from anxious feelings making you feel down. If you choose to be sexually active, then oral sex is less risky than unprotected sexual intercourse. Not many sexually active guys are going to turn down oral sex. But you can if you want (I am assuming that you are not being forced to give oral sex from your note). Whatever you do, take care Tanya. Worry can cause you to get sick. I truly send you my best thoughts that you enjoy being 18. Thank you, Dr. John

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From Shikha respected sir, i am really scared regarding hiv/AIDS, and i think you can help me out. sir i had oral sex with my boyfriend when i had open sores( ulcers) in my mouth and that he even ejaculated. we both don’t have hiv. but after this stint after few months i had flu like symptoms and i got myself tested for a typhoid test which came +ve, as i didn’t had the courage to tell the doc what weird stint i had.. from then on i am scared about hiv. and i am scared of getting the test done. as i am from india and this hiv/AIDS thing is seen from very negative response. kindly help me. i just don’t know what to do. can’t share this with my parents. and i never ever loved oral sex but just for my boyfriend’s sake i had to give him every time we met. kindly reply me back on this email i would be obliged for this.

Dear Shikha, first my apologies for not responding to your questions earlier. I have been to India on my Global AIDS Walks so I understand the strong societal stigmas there. Normally I would say that oral sex (fellatio) can transmit HIV but the risk is much less than unprotected sexual intercourse. However, with mouth ulcers, the risk grows higher because ulcers can expose your blood to semen that has HIV. You wrote: “we both don’t have hiv.” Were you both tested at the same time – did you share the results? It is all too common for people to say that they do not have HIV when their goal is immediate sexual gratification as you suggest that was very important to him, but not yourself, every time you both connected. Flu like symptoms could just be a cold or it could also be the precursor of developing HIV/AIDS. You are talking about your life here. I think you should go to a private HIV/STI clinic for a test soon. Or have a traveling friend or relative buy you a HIV home test kit that uses oral swabs — they might have to “hide” it in their luggage. I don’t know current Indian law. I am concerned about you Shikha. Please do not put yourself or your partner at risk for any STI including HIV if you have open sores in your mouth. A few minutes of pleasure for your boyfriend could lead to a lifetime of compromised health for you. You deserve the best. Dr. John

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From Sam hi, i was looking through your question on your website & i needed to ask a question, if you could reply a.s.a.p, that would be great 🙂 when me & my girlfriend first tried sex, we didn’t use a condom, but i didn’t cum, i know that much anyway, she hasn’t shown signs of being pregnant, because she’s on the injection, we just tried it, i wasn’t a virgin, but she was, but im not concerned about that, here’s my main question for you… i think i might have an STI, I’ve just been cleared e.t.c but i would like to know, although i didn’t cum, could my girlfriend of caught what i had, before i got cleared, or do you have to cum to transmit STI, it is through fluids, or is it through touching skin, when inside someone ? cheers 🙂

Dear Sam, I see you found me using the direct email – either the website or email gets to me. I understand that your girlfriend is on birth control which doesn’t prevent HIV as you know. The fact that she shows no signs of being pregnant is not the issue you ask about. Obviously you know that semen makes the girl pregnant and it is one of the bodily fluids necessary for HIV to survive. One thing to remember is that many males (but not all) often leak pre cum before ejaculation and it is very possible for pre cum to have traces of semen in it. However, the likelihood is not very high for HIV transmission. You do not have to cum to transmit an STI (formerly known as STD). You might have passed the STI (you didn’t say which one) onto your girlfriend and the honorable thing is to let her know asap so she can be checked. Are you concerned that she finds out you weren’t a virgin when she was — or that you had the STI? Unless you were in a committed relationship based on faithfulness, the only real concern should be for her health now. You sound like a good guy, so be upfront with her and take her to the clinic for testing. Then take her out for a nice lunch on you. A single red rose would be nice too. Dr. John

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From Anonymous Can you get AIDS from kissing?

No, there is no medical evidence that suggests there is any likelihood of contracting HIV/AIDS from kissing a partner including the deep kissing that some people refer to as “soul” or “French” kissing. That is the good news for teenagers. Saliva is a poor conduit for HIV transmission. Mononucleosis, a viral infection transmitted by deep kissing, and certain kinds of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases, a.k.a. STIs for “infections”) can be transmitted by deep kissing – but not HIV. Because HIV is a virus that lives in hot human blood and some bodily fluids like semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk, I would not recommend that two teens kiss each other if one or both are bleeding from cuts, wounds or injuries including bleeding from rough teeth brushing.

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From Aanyah, 15 This is sort of an awkward question to ask, but since I feel even more awkward asking someone else, I thought this would be the best place to go. I recently had sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, and even though we used a condom (but then took it off in the middle of the act); I’m still a little eerie about being pregnant. As of today it has only been four days, so obviously I can’t tell yet if I’m ‘late.’ Also I’ve heard that for at least two weeks after you finish your period you should be pretty safe with sex. Of course nothing is 100% except abstinence, but I was basically wondering if it’s possible to know right away, without taking any tests, if he ‘pulls out’ am I more safe? Please respond as soon as possible, I’ve been paranoid since our act.

Dear Aanyah, thank you for your email. First, let me say that you must rethink your strategies and practices with sex at your age. You are correct when you say that only abstinence is 100% safe to avoid pregnancy, but no, it is never wise to have any unprotected sexual intercourse. Not only because of possible pregnancy but because of the risk of contracting HIV. You didn’t mention that in your email yet you came to my advice column on a site that is all about HIV/AIDS and teens. To answer your question, no, it’s not possible to “know right away, without taking any tests, if he ‘pulls out’.” In good conscience, I could not tell you that you are being “more safe” if your partner pulls out. Once it’s in, the risk is there for both pregnancy and HIV. Please pass this information on to your friends. Good luck in school.

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From Anonymous (Female), 16 Hi..I’m 16 yrs old and am still a virgin. My boyfriend and I were fooling around but he never went into me, we were both just naked down there and touched once in a while. I’m just wondering if guys can feel pre-ejaculation fluid come out?…and since I’m still a virgin can I still get pregnant from the pre-ejaculation fluid? Can I get aids? Please help!

I am answering you very quickly as I understand that you are worried. While it is not likely, the answers to your questions are that yes, there is a possibility, however slight, that a female can get pregnant from pre-ejaculation fluid if it enters the vagina even if you consider yourself a virgin. Sometimes a boy is not always aware that the pre-ejaculatory fluid is leaking as it is a milder sensation that actual orgasm. I get this question a lot from girls and some boys concerned about unwanted pregnancy. It is possible too that HIV exists in pre-ejaculation fluid and it could enter a cut at the outside of the vagina even if there is no penetration. But that said, I don’t think you should worry too much. You should talk with your mother if you can or ask your doctor about being tested. If those options are not going to happen, then call a local teen center for advice on pregnancy and HIV testing if you want to be sure. You also have to be concerned about STIs (sexually transmitted infections) when you are involved with any kind of sex play with your boyfriend. If you don’t want to worry about these things occurring, either don’t get naked and rub the genitals together or have the male wear a condom as a precaution. You are still young and you need to concentrate on school and your teen years. The pressure is great to experiment with sex at your age but I suggest you postpone early sex as long as you can. Obviously, it is your decision what level of risk you choose to take. I hope you have a happy, and relatively pressure-free adolescence. Good luck in school. Dr. John

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From Jacob, 21 dear dr. john -brace yourself- i received quite a few piercings within a very short matter of time including a very large gage in my ears i was pierced with a 4g the size of a pencils eraser that was back in march at the beggining of june my piercings had still not healed. they stated to get pretty infected. i recently took my nipple and eyebrow rings out. my concern is my lymph nodes are quite swollen. i’m scared because at the beggining of june i gave a girl unprotected oral sex(very short period of time 5min tops). 3 days later i had flu like symptoms but others in my job started to have the same sickness, sore throat etc. i thought nothing of it at the timeŠ with in a week i felt just fine, but i noticed that my lymph nodes were swollen, including pain from the ones up under my arms.(maybe from infected nipple rings?) now its been 2 months and the glands under my jaw are still swollen. in july i went to the hospital. they did a little bit of tests, including x rays, and they found nothing. they sent me to get hiv tested. this was 1.5 months after “possible hiv contact” with the female. the results came back negative. my ear lobes are still not healed and slightly infected. my questions are: 1.could my cold have been acute hiv syndrom contracted through oral sex i gave?(my oral hygiene is not the greatest) 2.if this is so, once you feel the symptoms of acute hiv syndom(flu-cold), can they go away and come back? 3.or could my persistent swollen glands be from my piercings …sorry if this letter seemed to be all over the place. please give me your advice p.s. very helpful website.thanx for having it!!!!

Dear Jacob, thanks for writing. I can see the worry in your email. The fact that you did an HIV test 1.5 months after the unprotected oral sex should be sufficient to allay any fears you contracted HIV/AIDS at that time. To be really sure, get tested again. Usually, oral sex (cunnilingus — man upon woman) is not enough to pass HIV unless there are open bleeding sores. However, you can easily contract STDs (STIs) from oral sex and STDs can help facilitate the transmission of HIV through sores. You understand that HIV often appears as a flu, then “goes away,” only to reappear much later when the immune system is greatly impaired. Yet a flu could mimic these same symptoms. I think you are right to be concerned about your infected body piercings especially if they were made with needles that weren’t new or “clean.” I think you should ask your doctor to check the infected openings if you think they are contributing to the problem with your lymph nodes. I hope this gives you some answers. I don’t think you have HIV but get a second test for confirmation. Good luck and thanks for writing. Dr. John

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From Randall, 17 Can you get HIV by swallowing a guys semen?

Randall, thanks for your email. Some medical experts think that ingesting semen is not a major problem in most instances but this is not a guaranteed, 100 % safe practice because of STDs and other infections from ingesting a foreign substance. Swallowing semen does not appear to be a big problem for contracting HIV unless there’s an open wound/cut/ or sore inside the mouth or throat of the person swallowing. Even a microscopic cut could introduce HIV into a person’s body. The safest practice is not too ingest. Dr. John

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From Anonymous, 14 I heard from this one show that you can get AIDS by materbathing with dirty hands. It sounds silly but who knows. Is that true?

Thank you for your email. No, it’s not true that a person can give himself AIDS by masturbating. You’re right — it’s silly. HIV is transmitted in human blood (and some bodily fluids containing blood such as semen) from one HIV-positive person to another. But a male cannot give HIV to himself. If you heard that, it’s not true. Since I didn’t see the show you mentioned, maybe they were talking about a HIV-positive person masturbating another person and somehow blood was exchanged from a cut. Theoretically, it’s a slight possibility but highly unlikely. Masturbation by an individual is perhaps the safest form of sexual release when only one person is involved. In your grandparents’ time, boys were told masturbation caused blindness, hairy palms and insanity. Those tales were not true then; dirty hands is not true now. Good luck in school. Dr. John

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From Anon, 23 My girlfriend had a scare a few weeks ago that she may have contracted HIV from a partner she was with over a year ago as he was recently diagnosed as being HIV positive. She has not suffered any symptoms, and her GP said she had no need to worry, but she decided to take a test recently for which she was negative. How accurate is the test? Should I still be worried? Thank you. Anon from Shropshire

Dear Anon (because I don’t know your real name), I apologize for the delay in responding to your email. I have been in Africa on one of my AIDS prevention walks and have very little access to the internet on the road. I suggest that you both take another HIV test. Her physician is most likely correct but you cannot always see or have symptoms when HIV is new to the body. If you are worried, and you choose to be sexually active, then using a condom is the alternative. That said, condoms vary in quality so buy a reliable one. In the U.K., you probably see a of of ones by Durex although Trojans and other brands are imported from the U.S. You can always ask a druggist for advice. If the female is allergic to latex products, you can buy ones made of polyurethane. However, never use prophylactics made from “sheepskin” (their intestines). Do not have unprotected sexual intercourse if you want to avoid worry. Best wishes, Dr. John

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From Anonymous, 19 I have had multiple sexual partners. I had always used condoms and in one incident the condom busted. Soon after I got checked and found out I had chylamydia. After clearing that up I had another incident in which I had unprotected sex. I got checked again and was clean. I have never took an HIV/AIDS test because since I have messed up I’am really scared. As long as I keep using condoms am I still at a great risk??? Please respond

Thank you for your question. I have been away doing my walks or I would have responded quicker. Because you describe your sexual experiences with a few partners, and not always using a condom, I think it is very important that you use protection every time. You already know that you are at risk for chylamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases — maybe HIV. You are too young, with your whole life ahead of you — to take a chance and get sick with HIV/AIDS. Sometimes human nature pushes us to take risks out of a sense of guilt when we think we’ve messed up. So to answer your question, always use a condom properly to avoid any more breaks and to be as safe as is possible (you now know from experience that condoms are not 100% guaranteed). That means, knowing how to put it on and to use lubricants that are latex-compatible and water-based. Please take heed of these warnings and protect yourself and your partner’s body. Dr. John

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From Ashlee, 15 Around 4 months ago I performed oral sex on a guy. While I was doing it I felt a bump on his penis, I didnt see it but I felt it in my mouth.Since then I started to get cuts or sores in my mouth that hurt. Also on the inside of my lips I have gotten little sores too. Recently I got bumps on the back of my tounge and sometimes they hurt. Do you think I have an STD? Please help.

Ashlee, thank you for your question. Yes, it is possible that you have a STD of some kind. The good news is that there are medicines to help but you must visit a doctor or a health clinic to be examined and soon. They can help you. Just ask that your records be kept confidential. Dr. John

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From Depressed, 21 Thank you for providing this service-we all owe you one. I went to a strip club and got a lap dance. During the lap dance, the stripper took my penis out of my pants and began giving me a hand job. For about ten seconds, she rubbed my penis against the top of her clitoris. Am I at risk for HIV? HPV? Herpes? Thank you. Age: 21

Dear “Depressed,” thank you for your question. I do not believe that you re at risk for HIV, as blood needs to be exchanged (there’s blood in semen or vaginal fluids) into your blood. However, the contact can infect you with genital herpes or genital warts. If you are worried, visit your university clinic and explain your concern. I hope all is well and I wouldn’t worry too much. Dr. John

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From Doug, 18 Do all men have pre-ejacualtion fluid because I seem not to. Even when my girlfriend and I fool around or have intercourse, there is no visible or touchable pre-cum fluid. If there isn’t any, is it safer for me then other men to have intercourse w/out a condom before i ejaculate?

Doug, every man is different. Some males have little or no pre-ejaculate — others “leak” profusely. Based on the quantity, more fluids might be exchanged and HIV could be transmitted. But you shouldn’t assume that you are “safer” because you have little pre-ejaculate. Don’t believe that you don’t need a condom because you see no pre-ejaculate. Is it difficult for you and your girlfriend to want to use condoms? (I recommend ones made of polyurethane). Please consider your actions carefully. And good luck if you are in school. Dr. John