Teen Advice Column

Teen Advice Column

Questions from teens:

1. Question from Erica, 15:

“My life is very difficult. First of all my parents don’t never give me no freedom, they never let me go anywhere with out them and I’m 15. I had a lot of freedom when I was younger. I don’t have no friends because of them. Im homeschooled too. So Im to the point when I just want to walk out the house and never come back. What should I do?”

Response from Hannah:

Erica, If I were in your situation, I would be very frustrated also and I would mainly want to take out my anger on my parents. I think that the reason that your parents are being so strict with you is because they don’t want to see you grow up too fast, and they care about you so much that they don’t want to let you go. Maybe the reason that your parents gave you more freedom when you were younger is because they knew that you would still listen to them, because usually at least from my perspective, when kids are younger they are closer with their parents and they aren’t as involved with friends, and peer pressure as when you are a teenager at the age of fifteen. I bet if you talked with your parents, like Sivan was saying then they would understand a lot better, that’s the first thing I would do if I were you. Just let them know how you feel, and ask them for a little more freedom. And if you don’t like being home-schooled, then get involved in something extra.  Do you enjoy any hobbies or sports? That way you could make friends and your parents would like the fact that you are doing something to keep in shape or work your brain. Even though you are really upset with your parents and want to leave the cooped up house that you’re dying to get out of, don’t run away because then your parents are going to be even more strict with you and be mad at you for making that decision.  The main thing that I would do in this situation is talk to my parents and see what they think about it. It never hurt to try right? Good Luck.

2. Question from Jessica, Louisiana, 13:

“What do you do if your friend is becoming soo popular at school and she loves it….but then she starts to leave you out….all she thinks about is boys. She always takes her crush somewhere before me and she was like my sister before he came along. she’s also us getting to boy crazy for me….she’s only 12 and she wants to kiss boys….what should i do or say??”

Response from Destiny:

Jessica, this is probably not what you want to hear but not every one remains friends throughout their lifetime people grow and change with time. So the best thing to do is to just talk to your friend about what she is doing and how you feel. If she doesn’t seem to care then maybe it wasn’t meant to last or maybe she will realize in the not so distant future that she has lost a valuable friend. But if you don’t want to lose her as a friend tell her how you feel and just tell her to be careful in what she does because there are a lot of guys out there who just want some one to call their own.  Just tell her you worry and try to hang out with her and get to know the people she is talking with and maybe you both can hang out with the same people and all be friends.

3. Question from Kristen, the Bronx, 16:


“I am pregnant…I cheated on my current boyfriend during the time I got pregnant with an ex boyfriend. I want it to be my current boyfriends so badly and I really, really think that it is but I am not sure. I think about it everyday and I really don’t know what to do. Now that we have told everyone our parents and families and friends are so excited but what if its not his in the end? What should I do?”

Response from Sivan:

Kristen, okay that is a very bad thing to do in the first place but i think that you should recheck everything.  Think about the time you weren’t pregnant to the time now and had with more  intercourse with and all that and if anything to like tell the truth so nobody would be hurt in the situation.  It can hurt and effect other people too. So i think you should just sit down and think for awhile and then go talk to the ex and current boyfriends. Tell them it can be a possibility that one of them can be the father because if you don’t tell the current boyfriend and it isn’t his child, then a lot of that can have a big effect on how they feel now and if they are willing to take care of the baby or not.  Other than that i have really nothing to say. Only time will tell.

4. Question from Ria, 16, Virginia

“is it possible to get pregnant if your doing it in a pool or a hot tub???”

Response from Megan:

Dear Ria, Thank you for emailing us. I know it must be awkward writing to people you don’t know about sex but thank you. The answer to your question is we don’t know for sure.  According to our Health teacher at high school, he says it is possible to become pregnant while “doin it” in a Hot Tub. However, we are sending your question on to Dr. John for him to answer in his “Ask Dr. John” Column.  We think it’s better to be safe (with the correct information) than be sorry.  That’s not a cop out.

5. Question from Anonymous, 17, New York City:

“My boyfriend tells me he will leave me if I don’t give it to him. I tell him to wait but he gets mad crazy.”

Response from Ray:

Dear Anonymous, Thanks for the email you wrote in to us. How is it in the Big Apple?  But to answer your question our opinion is simple, you shouldn’t have to do it if you don’t want to.  No means no. Move on. If someone like that supposedly cares about you they wouldn’t force you or pressure you into having sex with them — or anything else you don’t want to do. Like we said before we feel the best thing to do is just try to move on.

6.  Question from Anonymous, 16, England

“ok well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while now(6 months) but we’ve only kissed or he’s done stuff to me. he keeps asking for things and i want to but my confidence just lets me down and i can’t.  what should i do??”

Response from Maria:

dear anonymous, it’s great to have a boyfriend for 6 months and to let your affection show, but never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or guilty. if your confidence is letting you down, that’s a big “red light” saying that you don’t find that comfortable or you’re not ready to do those things yet. i suggest talking to your boyfriend about it and coming to a conclusion that he needs to stop trying to pressure you into things, because that’s an unhealthy relationship, or to just let you do what you find comfortable.
i hope i could help!

7. Question from TayaLee, 14, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

“Well , theres this boy at school that I really really like and he likes me too but I got a boyfriend and I like really love him sorta, but I don’t know what to do, the boy that I really really like I like him more than I like my boyfriend but I don’t wanna go out with that boy cause I might hurt my friends.”

Response from Maria:

Dear tayalee, it sounds like you have a little crush huh? well if you two really like each other, but you have a boyfriend that you think you love, then i’m sorry but it doesn’t sound like you love your boyfriend. i’d look at where your relationship is in terms of how much you actually like him and vice versa. if you’re having trouble deciding who you like then you should try being single for awhile, and then see where you’re at with your maybe ex boyfriend and the kid that likes you and you like him. i hope i helped.

8. Question from Sammy, 15, Stockton, California:

“I like this girl in my class.  She smiles at me when her friends are not their but doesn’t do nothing.  I asked a buddy but he say she is no good but don’t tell me why.  I think about her a lot — even in a dream.  I cant drive but I know she goes to the mall to hang out on saturdays.  How can I talk to her? I don’t have a cell.  My brother says talk to her in class but what if she ignores me with her friends?  Im shy. She is very pretty and hot.”

Response from Haley:

Dear Sammy, Try to talk to her at school, and if she ignores you, she may not be the one for you. You deserve to be talked to, and not ignored. Get to know her before thinking she’s no good-chances are it’s just a rumor.

9. Question from Amber, 18, Alabama:

“I’m 18 years old and i want to go have my tongue pierced  My mom said she don’t agree  with it but its my body and  i’m 18 and it’s up to me. But then theres my dad, i asked him and he just about freaked out.  he won’t even hear my side of it. He is set in his own way. First he told me fine as long as it couldn’t be seen. the night i called him to tell him i was going to get it, he freaked. He told me no, i never said you could (when just the day before he said i could.). I think someone told him that anyone who gets this done is only getting it for sexual reasons. But i’m not. I mean i’m still a VIRGIN! I’ve want to get my tongue pierced from the age 15. I’ve wanted it for a little over 3 years, so i know its not just because “everyone has it” or something like that. If i didn’t care what he would do or say i would just go have it done anyway no matter what he said.  what do you think i should do?”

Response from Megan:

Dear Amber, Parents can be tough huh? Trust me, i know. I’ve been in your situation… almost. It took me 2 years to convince my mom to let me get my belly button pierced. The way I look at it is, you should sit down with your parents and talk to them about it. If they end up yelling at you for some reason (they always seem to) don’t yell back; it always makes matters worse, in a calm voice tell them how you feel about it and maybe you and your parents can come to an agreement about your piercing. This may show more maturity than they think you already have. And even though you’re 18 and it’s your body, your parents (I must admit) do know what’s best for you.

10. Question from Jessica, 17, Ohio:

“I have been w/ this boy for 3 yrs on and off. i really love him. he is 2 yrs younger than me. recently we got caught having sex. his dad hates me now. my mom and dad and his mom don’t seem to mind anymore, i got a pap and i am on birth control. it’s just that his dad hates me he doesn’t even talk to me anymore. and now that everyone knows, we are not allowed to do anything alone or together hardley, well never now. help?”

What do you think? Email us at ta-pc@teenaids.org

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